Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
I'll tell you a bit about myself even though you're probably not interested. It's just your story reminds me of myself 5 years ago.
I'm Australian. From when I was 16-17 I worked after school and on weekends to pay for driving lessons because my mother didn't like teaching me and I passed my driving test just two days before my 17th birthday! It was great. I bought the cheapest bomby car and the freedom was amazing.
My parents paid for my horse all through high school. And then I hit problems in year 11. It wasn't the work load, it was the social side of thing. I was bullied, I was depressed, I was a complete mess. I changed schools to get away from the situation but by then I was such a mental wreck I felt the whole thing was pointless and impossible. We sold my horse when I didn't ride much (before I got a car I could hardly get out there - hours on the bus) and then a couple of months into year 12 I dropped out. Barely 17. I knew my parents would be horribly disappointed in me so I packed my car and left. I moved to Sydney, lied about my age and found a share place. Worked full time, going through crappy jobs earning the lowest wages because at 17 they barely seem to pay.
I ended up getting a decent job at a real estate/conveyencing place that was willing to give me a chance. For 40 hours a week I got about $350 (which is nothing in Australia) and out of that I had rent, food, car, electricity etc. And I realised that this was as good as it was going to get. No qualifications, high school drop out, sure my whole life my parents had cared for me but out in the real world no one cares about how smart you think you are or anything.
I went back to school. I didn't feel like I could ever go home so I went to a technical college and did year 11 and 12 in one year with mature people who were actually there to learn, not to muck about. It wasn't easy but then life isn't easy. And I got into university, and went, and graduated, and soon I'm going to do my masters. My job right now isn't perfect, but I'm getting paid more than 3 times the amount I was paid back then. I bought a horse in uni as well, I wasn't wealthy, but you can pretty much always find ways to make things work if you want them enough. If you try hard and are honest people are often willing to help you.
It's easy to make excuses. Yes rent isn't cheap but most people don't live in their own places in their teens, twenties, and even thirties sometimes. They share. And many share places let you have pets. You just have to look around. And if that's something you don't want to do then that's all fine.
But think about your life. Eventually you're going to have to make some decisions. The older you get the harder it will be. People will help you when you're 18, they'll forgive your mistakes, but the older you get the more self-sufficient people expect you to be. Even if you did year 12 and then uni now, you probably wouldn't finish until you were 24 - 25. Time is going to pass you by whether you do nothing or something. You can say you're young, you can say you are bullied, or depressed or whatever you are.
But are you going to let yourself be that person forever? Life is full of challenges and challenges are hard. Life isn't fair. And in the end all you'll ever have is yourself and the decisions you make.
I know you don't want advice but please think it all over. If I could go back and finish year 12 properly, have parental support through school and university, have a great horse funded by family and an easy life, well I'd have done it. Because here, after everything, looking back I could have made so many better decisions. And the things I thought mattered meant nothing.
Horses will pretty much never pay. And they'll always cost a fortune. If you have nothing behind you eventually this is going to be a big problem.
Anyway, whatever you do, good luck. But own your life and your choices, don't blame, take responsibility for the good and bad.