Bullying and Cyberbullying - Page 3

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Bullying and Cyberbullying

This is a discussion on Bullying and Cyberbullying within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        01-26-2010, 10:08 PM
    Now that I got that off I am sorry for being rude and I shouldn't of said that. Please forgive me my temper can get to me.
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        01-26-2010, 10:21 PM
    Super Moderator
    Bullying in anyway is really hard to deal with. I've been bullied in many ways. There can be some really friendly bullies out there as well as the mean ones. When I say that, I mean, they can, in a very nice way bully you into giving them what they want, such as riding your horses. They can actually manipulate you into feeling like you are the bad guy in a situation.

    Of course there are also the classic bullies that feed off of your fear. I think it's mostly about control in the end. A girl might be jelous of you so she'll tell you that you are ugly or fat, dumb, short, ignorant, whatever. It's all about making you feel small.

    There was a boy here once that had been bullied for years. His parents had been to the principle nad had written letters to the school board and all sorts of things. The bullying continued for years. One day the bully spit in the kids food and I geuss it triggered something and the kid finally stood up for himself. He pummeled that bully. He ended up cracking the guys skull and get this... After years of being bullied and pushed around, after years of his parents going to the school, he went to jail for maliscious wounding. How is that fair? Was it right to beat the guy to a pulp? No, but was it fair to spend so many years in misery?

    Sometimes I think that a bully needs a good punch in the nose. Hard to do over the internet. Especially since so many bullies seem to team up on people. I don't get it, bullying. Is this a rant? I think it's a rant.

    PS - Crimson may sound like a cold hearted mom, but in reality, it's kind of what needs to be said, in a loving sort of way. I've learned from experience that bullying does not go away. You HAVE to stand up for yourself, it's the only way to fight it. The thing is, you have to know that there is someone at home that loves you, that is willing to stand BESIDE you while you stand up for yourself. As long as you know you aren't alone, you can do anything.

    Sorry for the long winded session.
        01-26-2010, 10:26 PM
    I wasn't saying earlier to baby them but maybe say it nicer I'm hoping she wouldn't say that to her kid.
        01-26-2010, 10:33 PM
    Super Moderator
    Originally Posted by horses4life43    
    I wasn't saying earlier to baby them but maybe say it nicer I'm hoping she wouldn't say that to her kid.
    Like I said, I've been bullied and I hate to say it but... It doesn't matter how kind and caring they are when they tell you that this is something you have to deal with on your own. You already feel like a victim at that point, you feel weak and fragile and then your parents stand there and tell you to handle it on your own. It's pretty upsetting, but it's what needs to be done and when you do, handle it on your own. It's a great feeling.
        01-26-2010, 10:38 PM
    Originally Posted by farmpony84    
    Like I said, I've been bullied
    So THAT is why you won't give me back my Percy !!!

    I will haunt you and stalk you and bully you until you give him back.
        01-26-2010, 10:39 PM
    I would tell my child they need to work it out with whichever kid it may be. Although I don't believe I will say to grow thicker skin and get over it. I tjinkni would re word it.
        01-26-2010, 10:48 PM
    Super Moderator
    Originally Posted by Spyder    
    So THAT is why you won't give me back my Percy !!!

    I will haunt you and stalk you and bully you until you give him back.

    NEVER SPYDER! You can threaten me, you can call me mean, you can call me old, but you will NEVER bully me into returning Percey! NEVER!
        01-26-2010, 10:58 PM
    Originally Posted by farmpony84    
    NEVER SPYDER! You can threaten me, you can call me mean, you can call me old, but you will NEVER bully me into returning Percey! NEVER!

    What a poor bully to do.

    MEAN Farmpony !!
        01-26-2010, 11:12 PM
    I was bullied throughout primary school. I have always been a very socially awkward person - I can never seem to say the right thing to the right people. That's why I like this forum a lot - I can take time to go over what I want to say, and edit to make sure I get my point across. I am much better at communicating via the written/typed word than in real life. As such, I have never been cyber-bullied, as I am much better equipped to respond. I have no head for conflict - if insulted face to face, about all I can retort with is "Yeah? Well... You're DUMB!"

    I used to wet my pants in the early years of primary school. I don't think there is much out there that can be worse for a child's self esteem than this. Not only was I very shy, a manic reader (read: nerd), but I also had this issue that I couldn't conrtol and was ridiculed for.

    If my mother had of said to me 'Toughen up and get over it' I probably would have run away from home. It would have done a great deal of damage to our relationship. While we often clash in other aspects of life, she always supported me through that time.

    Honestly - What brought me through it was horses (Along with other animals - namely dogs). I started having riding lessons when I was five, was working as a junior staff when I was 9, and leased my first horse at 10. Around horses, I was confident, in control - I didn't feel intimidated. I could understand these creatures - They were honest. They didn't make snide remarks, lie, say things behind your back. They were upfront and transparent.

    I never grew out of my shyness and insecurity. I still harbour a great fear of calling people on the phone and meeting new people. All I learnt was to hide it - To laugh off any hurtful remarks. I still felt them, but it helped take away the satisfaction the bullies got from it.

    I actually went through Primary school, high school and college with some of them. Funny - As I got older, more confident, and (not to sound arrogant) more attractive, some of the boys actually tried to turn around and be friends. Needles to say I wanted nothing to do with them.

    Nowadays - I just stay quiet. I have no friends at my workplace, and while not bullied, do feel quite ostracized and have been on the end of some blatant rudeness and 'cliquey-ness'. I'm like a different person in my work life compared to my riding life. It's part of the reason I ride/compete so much - I can relate to horse people. My only good friends are horsey people.

    I think part of the problem is that i'm very critical - I see things I don't like in most people, and try not to be like that myself.

    My boyfriend is about the only non-horsey peerson I see regularly. He is much more confident and outgoing than me, but is the same, not very social. I really only get along well with one of his friends who I went to school with - I desperately want to get along with the others but again, tend to stay silent as I never say the right thing when we aren't talking about horses.

    Oops, that went a bit OT... But basically, bullying can have far-reaching consequences. I have no doubt that I would be a very different person today if I hadn't been bullied. Being told to toughen up may work for some children/people - But it will make it worse for just as many. If a child is feeling depressed and suicidal, as many victims of bullying do, then being told anything like that will often be enough to tip them over the edge. Love and understanding are the qualities that help you through.
        01-26-2010, 11:19 PM
    Wow, ouch. When your in that situation of getting bullied, it is just horrible. You can deal with it and grow from it, but at least have sympathy and compassion for those people.

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