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Bullying and Cyberbullying

This is a discussion on Bullying and Cyberbullying within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        01-26-2010, 11:25 PM
    Did anyone else hear about a mom who bullied some girl her daughter didn't like? I don't rememebr if this is exactly how it went but it was something like the two girls liked the same boy and the mom of one girl made a myspace pretending to be the boy and was really mean to the other girl and she ended up killing herself.

    As far as ignoring it and getting over it, you have to keep in mind that not everyone is the same and there can be underlying issues that these kids may have. The one's that end up killing themselves could already have some psychological issues and are pushed over the edge by the bullying. You can't tell some people to just get over it. It's not that simple for everyone.
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        01-26-2010, 11:40 PM
    More on 'toughening up':

    It really isn't that simple. There aren't many kids out there who enjoy being bullied - If it was as easy as just growing a pair and brushing it off, then there wouldn't be many kids being bullied. Sure, some bullies will be deterred, but some will take it as a challenge, and escalate until they get a response. I daresay that is the case in many of the situations with bad endings.

    There is NO easy solution to bullying. For the victim, it is absolutely debilitating. It takes a lot of soul searching and personal growth to be able to handle it - Sadly a lot of kids are bullied when they are too young to be able to handle themselves in that manner. That is where support from family and friends comes in.

    And then sometimes, even if a kid does everything right, the bully is just un-deterrable. In that case it is a real psychological issue with the bully, and nothing the victim does will make any iota of difference.

    Bullying is much like the training of horses - No one solution will work for every situation.
        01-26-2010, 11:43 PM
    Cyber bullying is just atrocious. I have been bullied, (cyber+face to face), and it is horrible. I think today's teens are becoming more and more superficial. I have deal with rumours every day, but I hold my head up high. I also deal with being excluding by a certain group of girls at my school.

    My school, and many schools for that matter do not do enough to deal with bullying. Its totally unacceptable. A detention and a talking to by a teacher does nothing. Severe disciplines need to be put into place, because bullying can and does effect people's lives. At my school, we have a zero tolerance policy, but all that involves is the students involved sitting down and having a chat with the victim and a counsellor. This never works!

    I'm getting all emotional :( I'd better stop before I write a novel.
        01-26-2010, 11:50 PM
    ^ Lol, that's what I did.
        01-26-2010, 11:51 PM
    A girl that was a few years below me in middle school got expelled for bullying another girl. I don't know the details (it happened after I graduated) just that she had some pictures of the girl and passed them around the school. She thought it was so dumb that she got expelled (we ended up at the same high school as well). I don't think she ever thought there was something wrong with what she did.
        01-26-2010, 11:55 PM
    I've had pictures and some pretty personal MSN conversations passed around school of me. Cyber bullying makes it that much easier to access information that one can't get by face to face bullying. A girl hacked my MSN account and printed off a lot of personal stuff and sent it around the whole school and area. HECK, even the teachers knew about it, but none of them came up and asked if I was ok.
        01-27-2010, 12:36 AM
    And just remember that cyberbullying in particular is not limited to teenagers.

    Go to many forums (especially horse and dog ones) and you see adults behaving badly against other adults. You see teens behaving badly against adults and adults behaving badly against younger people and teens.

    It is just that this topic reaches the news more from stories where a teen commits suicide due to bullying (and many times their parents have simply told them to just ignore or toughen up).

    Just go to COTH for example and the mob mentlity runs rampant (and these are adults, at least in physical years anyways)
        01-27-2010, 12:41 AM
    Replying to the OP- are they looking for the original 'bulliers'? Often when I read articles about text-bullying, cyber-bullying, school-bullying etc causing suicide the article is focused on the victim and not the attacker. What sort of punishment do bulliers go through if they are found to be linked to a suicide, if any? I don't think the solution for bullying is to have victims 'grow thicker skin and move on' I think the bulliers should be punished to a point were they know what they did was wrong and will never do it again. Perhaps I sound a bit severe, but anyone doing such a serious and terrible thing should go through serious act should expect to deal with serious consequences. No, I don't care if the bully was 'just wanting attention', if they acted as a catalyst for a suicide/caused severe emotional suffering that is not an excuse.
        01-27-2010, 01:09 AM
    ^^Completely agree. Bullying does effect people's lives, and it needs to stop. Pissy little punishments such as a litte detention won't do anything.
        01-27-2010, 01:38 AM
    While I do agree with the fact that there need ot be harsher punishments for bullies, I will also point out that many times they have issues as well. I have dealt with being bullied. I started out as a scared little kid, and horses were the thing that helped me. (along with an older male cousin that taught me to fight) There are many times that both the bully and the victim need someone to talk to. Many bullies are abused in some way by adults or other children.

    I feel that parents should definitely monitor their children's internet usage more strongly. My parents did. They knew all my passwords until I was about 17. They knew who I talked to, who I argued with, and what most of it was about.

    They never had to interfere for me, but I have had to intervene on my younger sister's behalf. The mother of a girl she was arguing with came and was screaming in her face at a baseball game. I just about went to jail, but I called over some other adults (I was only 18 so still difficult for me to get the idiot to back off). My sister was 15, and this woman was angry because her daughter didn't like that my sister was dating her ex. Kids can be stupid, and it gets worse when adults get in on it.

    I will not have my kids having free access to the internet. I will have passwords, and if they change them they will not get back on until I have the new password. It worked with me, so I think that it sounds like a decent plan. If I ever have a child being bullied I will talk to them about coping skills, and I will hopefully have a younger family friend, aunt/uncle, etc to reinforce what I tell them.

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