Buy a horse or have a child? - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 02:29 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 70
• Horses: 0
Buy a horse or have a child?

Has anyone besides me struggled with this question?

I am almost 30 and have never felt the "itch" to have children, even though I sort of feel like I will have them eventually. Since I was a little girl, I have been OBSESSED with horses (in spite of my family not really supporting my riding--having to work to ride since age 9), but have never owned my own horse. At this stage in my life I can finally afford a horse, but I also feel like that might not be terribly responsible if I envision starting a family in the somewhat foreseeable future. Over the past several months I have been given the opportunity to potentially buy my horsey soulmate, which is really making me question whether I want kids at all. The thought of owning my first horse, let alone a horse this special to me, seems so genuinely true to myself. The more I struggle with this question, the less certain I become. DH also really wants kids, and I don't want to let him down. Anyone have any thoughts/experiences to share?
evilc123 is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 02:40 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: South of No-where
Posts: 2,693
• Horses: 4
That really is something that you and your significant other will have to decide.

My husband and I agreed on not having children. Its a decision we made before we were married and over a decade later I still do not regret that decision. It just was not for us. But it sounds like one person in your relationship wants children and it would not be fair (and downright selfish) to make that decision not to have them on your own. I see many long talks in your future.

As to horses "OR" children, well there are many people out there that can and do balance both. One does not mean the other is out. Just something to think about.

All I pay my psychiatrist is cost of feed and hay, and he'll listen to me any day!

Cat is offline  
post #3 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 02:50 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,469
• Horses: 3
Unless you are SURE you want children, go for the horse. And if you aren't really POSITIVE you want children, please don't have any. Not everyone needs to be a parent. Not everyone SHOULD be a parent, in SPITE of all the propaganda to do so.
squirrelfood is offline  
post #4 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 02:51 PM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 13,194
• Horses: 2
If you choose a horse now, and then decide to have kids, it is socially acceptable to sell, or lease out the horse while you are tied up with the whole child thing.

If you choose to have kids now, then decide you want a horse, people get twitchy if you list your kids on Craigslist

Seriously, it's a discussion for you and DH, but many people find that horses and kids are not mutually exclusive, jut HARD to balance time and money wise.

I rode a lot before having the kids, even owned a horse for a short time. I like many others took time out while they were small, and then really came back into it then. Good luck with your choices!
Golden Horse is offline  
post #5 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 02:52 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,321
• Horses: 1
Does it have to be an either/or situation?

It was never a question for me. I never wanted kids. Go team horse!!
Posted via Mobile Device
MyFillyAspen likes this.
DancingArabian is offline  
post #6 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 03:09 PM
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Watertown, MN
Posts: 5,540
• Horses: 3
I'm just a little older than you, single, the owner of two horses, and just realizing that perhaps someday I do want children. In my case it's entirely dependent on whether or not I actually get married, but if I do it will be to someone who understands that while the horses may go on minimal care or even be leased if necessary, they are a part of me and I'd no more sell them than my dog. In my case, it's becoming more likely that I will look to adopt instead of having my own and probably an older child who isn't wanted by most people for whatever reason.

Like the others said though, this really is a conversation for you and your husband. Personally, you should NOT have children unless you are 1000% ready to be a mother in every sense of the word. There are too many unwanted children in this world to bring one into life who isn't wanted wholeheartedly by both parents. That's just my opinion of course...
BB Marie likes this.
MN Tigerstripes is offline  
post #7 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 03:15 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 5,286
• Horses: 1
Your situation is pretty similar to mine- I was as horse crazy as it gets as a kid, but didn't get to start riding until I could both pay for it and drive myself. I've been riding for about 8 years now and the more time I spend with horses, the more time I want to spend with horses, to the point where I wish I could switch careers to something horse-related.

That desire to have kids eludes me, too. Fortunately for me, DH is of the same mindset (although it's unfortunate for his mother, since he's an only child)

Honestly, I don't know how I would manage to balance my job, my horse, and a kid. I certainly couldn't keep my current position (which requires me to fly to California twice a week on top of being a fairly high stress position to begin with)

As Cat said, though, it's not necessarily an either-or type situation. Half leasing can be a great option when you're looking at starting a family, both from a financial perspective and from a time perspective.

“The horse is a mirror to your soul. Sometimes you might not like what you see. Sometimes you will.” - Buck Brannaman
"Nothing forced can ever be beautiful." - Xenophon
verona1016 is offline  
post #8 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 03:29 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,958
• Horses: 0
Originally Posted by Golden Horse View Post

If you choose to have kids now, then decide you want a horse, people get twitchy if you list your kids on Craigslist
Is ebay any better??

Really, this is a personal decision. I thought I'd never have kids, and to be honest I would have been happy enough not to... BUT, now that they are here I have two gorgeous (a bit biased there) mini people who I love with all my heart.

I did lose out on a good bit of horse time, heck I still do. A few years ago I finally got my time back to riding, was getting out 5 times and week and BAM! who finds out she's 6 months prego? Yep, that's me. So, my horse got to be a pasture puff for a while. He got about 7-8 months off (pregnancy and c section recovery) so stand around doing nothing but eat, relax and eat. Now.. I get to enjoy going out riding with my daughter. I always have somebody to go hacking with.

I make it work. Everybody can make whatever life throws at them work. Saying this, if you don't want to have kids then don't... but you've got to be honest with your partner. What suits one person, may not suit you. What suits you, won't suit somebody else.

Kids are a big commitment. There's no going back once they are there.

Stop for a minute, open your mind, learn. You may not agree with what I say, I may not agree with what you say but we will both learn something new.
Maple is offline  
post #9 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 03:32 PM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 13,194
• Horses: 2
Originally Posted by Maple View Post

Kids are a big commitment. There's no going back once they are there.
Unless the ebay option does work
Golden Horse is offline  
post #10 of 55 Old 04-17-2014, 03:58 PM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 6,166
• Horses: 5
Unless you are SURE you want a horse, go for the children. And if you aren't really POSITIVE you want a horse, please don't have any. Not everyone needs to be a horseowner. Not everyone SHOULD be a horse owner in SPITE of all the propaganda to do so.

Lol. I had to do that because both are a long term responsibility but this doesn't have to be an either/or choice. And both don't need to start at the same time. A good parent has more beyond the child(ren) and if a horseowner without life beyond horses is either competing or obsessive.
Tack Collector and evilc123 like this.
NorthernMama is offline  

choice , parenting

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Child VS Horse $$$ ginofalltrades Horse Talk 28 04-01-2012 02:13 PM
Icelandic horse appropriate for a child? freia Horse Breeds 12 02-20-2012 11:16 AM
Looking for a horse for a child 4bunny Horses for Sale 7 06-28-2011 01:32 PM
Horse and Child...Same Name...Strange? QuarterPony Horse Talk 8 08-11-2008 08:59 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome