Buy a horse or have a child? - Page 4 - The Horse Forum

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post #31 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 02:07 PM
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Thank God SOMEBODY is willing to have kids, put up with the long term committment and put off their own wants and needs for someone else. We are all evidence of the burden and the blessings of such a sacrifice.
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post #32 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 02:21 PM
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Not everyone "puts off their own needs and wants" when they have kids, there are some people who are 100% fulfilled by being a parent, that is their need, their want, and their calling.

I wasn't one of those
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post #33 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by tinyliny View Post
Thank God SOMEBODY is willing to have kids, put up with the long term committment and put off their own wants and needs for someone else. We are all evidence of the burden and the blessings of such a sacrifice.
I agree 100%, however, there are a LOT of unwanted children out there in addition to the ones that are wanted. It's really nice that as a society we are moving towards it being acceptable to not have children if you don't truly want them. Hopefully that will help keep some people from having children they don't want.

Also, just because you don't want kids doesn't mean you aren't willing "put up with the long term committment and put off their own wants and needs for someone else." You might just recognize that you aren't going to be the best parent in the world or that you are unwilling to be selfish enough to bring a child into the world alone. Trying to find a SO is not always an "easy" process... Especially once you hit a certain age or if you life in more rural communities.
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post #34 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 03:46 PM
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Kind of a funny "decision", but to examine the options is definitely a responsible thing to do to. My horses tend to be "cradle to grave", and shortly before I got pregnant I purchased a 2 yo filly that I had wanted from the day she hit the ground, but she wasn't for sale until the day I bought her. :) I didn't actually need another horse, and at the time I wasn't "thinking" in terms of future children, I was only thinking of what I wanted. However, if I were in your position and currently had no horses, I would look at it as a great opportunity to shop for a single horse with the temperament/abilities with a future child in mind and not "just me"...a compromise of sorts. Just a thought.
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post #35 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 03:56 PM
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Neither was a "no" for me. I've always had horses and will have them. I've always wanted children. I had my first sooner than expected but I've dealt well, I cut my horse heard from 2 to 1 and know it will only be one for a while. My son is 4 months old, I'm able to ride almost everyday now that it's warm. He naps in his stroller while I ride. I know someday that won't happen, but my significant other helps out. I want at least one more child to. It's hard but you can have both. If you want the horse, get the horse. You can always discuss children.
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post #36 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 04:27 PM
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I think there is so much more to this question than people are considering on this thread. XD Though, I'm sure most of the answers are meant to be read in a light hearted way.

I'll say, firstly, this is absolutely a discussion to have with your significant other. Only you and he know the entirety of your situation. Exactly how badly does he want them? Enough to get a divorce if he doesn't get them? I'm not suggesting that's the case, just tossing that out there. (: Does he like horses? Would he be alright shouldering some of that commitment?

In terms of cost... unless you are purchasing a GP jumper or a World Class reiner (or something comparable for other disciplines xD) the cost of a horse will never amount to an even semi-spoiled (guilty xD) child. Someone mentioned not having to get kids shoes every six weeks after the college comment. I'll just say, I don't know many people who spent $100,000+ on a horse's feets xD
Sure, you could give a child the bare minimum--clothes, food, shelter. But who really does that? There's toys, there's field trips, there's birthdays, there's extra curricular activities. The list goes on.
As said before... A horse can be sold or leased. You can't sell or lease a child. XD

On the other hand... There's the idea of "time". You could feasibly buy a horse for many more years. In your forties, fifties, maybe even into your sixties or seventies. If you truly want a child, that's a decision you have to make /before/ your forties. So I guess that's an argument to be made for the "pro-child" side. A horse can always come later, once the kids are out of the house.


All of this makes me wonder... Does it really have to be one or the other? Both are time consuming and pricy... Both are very rewarding. Maybe you could find a way to make both work, after a conversation with DH.


My final statement to this discussion is this; people shouldn't be looked down upon either way. There are some people who are practically born wanting to have children. They spend their childhoods playing with dolls and emulating "house". I have friends like this. That's fantastic.
On the other hand, there are those of us who have never aspired to become a parent. I'm one of those xD I know that I'm too selfish to raise a child, and have everyone involved (my future husband, a potential child, and myself) all be happy. It doesn't make anyone less or more. It's just the way things are.

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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post #37 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 04:55 PM Thread Starter
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[QUOTE=Zexious;5206586]All of this makes me wonder... Does it really have to be one or the other? Both are time consuming and pricy... Both are very rewarding. Maybe you could find a way to make both work, after a conversation with DH.

I think $ and time are both factors that make me wonder whether it is possible to do both. I also have a full time career and I am an equal contributor to our family income. I really just cannot envision how life would work with both of us working FT and having a baby. Not saying it isn't possible, I just have no idea how one would achieve this.

Also...DH and I have discussed this. He wants me to be happy more than he wants kids, so I think that if I told him I really did not want kids and wanted a horse instead, he would be okay with that.
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post #38 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 05:13 PM
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One word...babysitter. My youngest niece is turning 5 this summer and Jason and his wife both work full time. Basically, they had a full time babysitter that kept her from just before 8am to just after 3pm, M-F. Now that she's in pre-school and her sister is old enough to take care of her without supervision, it's easier but still, daycare adds up to a lot of money.
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post #39 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 05:54 PM
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Sure, you could give a child the bare minimum--clothes, food, shelter. But who really does that? There's toys, there's field trips, there's birthdays, there's extra curricular activities. The list goes on.
Who does that? Really? A LOT more of us than you think, because that's all we CAN do.
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post #40 of 55 Old 04-18-2014, 07:14 PM
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You never know when your or your other halfs biological clock will kick in. As an example my avowed cousin and his wife have sworn from day one they were not having kids. At 39, this last Nov., she looked at him and asked if they had made a mistake, he said yes. We think she was pregnant 2 weeks later with child #1. So your DH might be OK with it today but that doesn't mean he will be tomorrow and likely wont if he really wants kids.

Another consideration is age, if you're going to have kids younger is better.

Yet another consideration is $$, they say today it's ~$250k to raise a child through college. Just wow.

Next is your situation financially and land wise. Stabling a horse 24/7 is expensive. On the other hand if you have a few acres then owning a horse isn't all that expensive if you're not showing them. Kids are always expensive so can you afford both? As two professionals you very likely can afford both if you so choose. If you can afford both there's no reason why it has to be one or the other.

Here's extra food for thought. Some of my fondest memories growing up are going out and doing activities with my parents that we all enjoyed. Horse back riding, camping, 4 wheeling, dirt bike riding, hikes, and such. I haven't asked my parents if the same is true for them but willing to bet it is.
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