Chivalry. It's dead. Rant. - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 10:19 AM
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I think most people today believe they'll whip out a cell phone and call triple A or whatever so help is already on the way. Now is chivalry really dead? We just got hit by a snow/ice storm. Every single accident/car in the ditch I came upon already had at least one other car and generally more stopped to help. I would say it's alive and well.
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post #12 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 10:28 AM
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I would like to add that I have only stopped to help someone once. There was a woman with a flat tire on the side of a busy road. I rolled down my window and asked her if she needed help or a phone to call for help. She told me help was on its way. Other than that I have never stopped only because every time I have passed a person in need emergency vehicles or a tow truck are already on the scene or they are clearly uninjured, talking on the phone and appear to have things in order. If I ever encountered someone that appeared to need help and it was in a secluded area, or an area I felt uncomfortable stopping, I would dial 911 and make sure someone checked up on them. I could never just drive by and not take action somehow. I have even stopped to help inured animals on the side of the road when no one else would. Though I would not recommend doing this if you don't have the proper equipment in your vehicle, like thick gloves, towels, and a box or cat carrier. I keep these things in my trunk at all times now. It also helps that I'm rabies vaccinated.

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post #13 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 10:29 AM
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I too am from a small town and when I go in the ditch the whole township knows about it before I even get home. There's no way I can cover my tracks and avoid the embarrassment lol.

I'm 5'3 and 120 lbs, I drive a cavalier and have no mechanical knowledge. I usually don't stop for strangers because there's nothing I can physically do to help, but I always at least roll down my window and make sure they're ok and they have someone coming to get them.

I think the group mentality plays into the cause of people driving by, yes, but also on a busy highway people will avoid stopping and getting out, especially at night, because its dangerous for everyone.
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post #14 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 10:30 AM
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Yesterday hubby and I sat in a Wal-Mart parking lot for three hours and only one person asked if we needed help. It was pretty obvious we were going nowhere, hood was up, kept trying the car etc. Luckily hubby is a mechanic so we were waiting for a part from a delivering parts store but I was pretty surprised that only one person offered to help out of literally hundreds that went by. And here I am 8ish months preggers.

On the other hand last summer my sister and I were driving from our hay guy to our old boarding barn with a load of hay. We get to a corner and half the load falls off (note to self, don't let sister stack hay into truck lol) the truck behind us immediately throws on its four ways and a really nice mid twenties guy gets out and offers to help us. Not only does he restack our hay he throws all the loose hay, as about 8 bales had broke open, into the bed of his truck and drives it to our destination, well out of his way.

So while I see your frustration I don't think chivalry is dead, it's just in hiding lol. Society has made it that way.
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post #15 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 03:19 PM
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I don't think it's always a matter of not caring. You can't trust anyone in this day and age. I'll call the police if I see a car in the ditch, but I don't dare stop. Being raised in a big, violent city, I never trust a stranger, no matter how innocent they look.

I do remember being in the car with my parents many years ago, and it was the middle of winter. We drove past an old woman trying to shovel her driveway, and my folks stopped and did it for her. Common kindness is alive and well, but you can't let your soft heart override caution.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
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post #16 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 04:21 PM
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My trainer used to have this truck, every time we went to a barrel race and left the trailer plugged in the battery would die.

Needless to say, we've been stranded at a LOT of barrel races.
Someone would always come, give us a jump and rescue us.

As far as stopping for people, I wouldn't do it. Just because I'm 5'6 and only 100lbs. Someone could overpower me very easily. But me and my ex used to go wheeling with our trucks up in the woods and almost every time we came back down there would be someone on the side of the road. No matter what he always stopped to try to help. It would almost get rediculous, because EVERYONE would stop to help.
Pretty soon there's 15 guys all standing around one truck ahaha.
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post #17 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 04:49 PM
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I try my best to stop and help. And I'm as untrustworthy and wary of people as it gets. I one time witnessed a bad accident, a car flipped over on the highway and rolled down a hill. Me and another car stopped, i was the only one who got out to see if the people were alright as the other car called 911 and drove away.

Another time i made my friend pull over so we could help a truck driver get back someplace warm instead of being put in sub zero weather.

If people will stop for me (and thats happened a lot lol) then I'll help people too. There have been times when I'll be more guarded around people due to bad feelings but most of the time im pretty mean and have a good survival instinct. The few times ive gotten bad vibes off of people i usually just ask them if they have help coming or need to call, then i leave them.
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post #18 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 05:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Palomine View Post
There have been stories about people stopping to help, and they are kidnapped, raped, or killed too.

Best thing to do is to call 911 and report car seems to be stranded with someone in there, and ask them to send help.

You don't know, when you stop, just how things are going to go, and I'd rather be cautious than dead.
This is just what I was going to say. I grew up with people telling me stories of people who pick up hitchhikers and get murdered, robbed, you name it. This slowly started to include people who needed "help" on the side of the road. I'm a tiny 21 year old girl, it wouldn't be hard to do away with me.

That being said, if I think they look legitimately in need I will stop. Smoke billowing out of hood? Sure. Upside down, or obviously skidded out into the ditch? Yeah, I'll probably stop. I've got mace on my keychain and I usually am carrying a knife. I'll have my phone ready to dial 911 - just in case the person needs help, but just in case I need help too.

I had to steer myself into the ditch one winter night a few years ago. It was 30 below, I was driving to a friend's house in my pajamas (brilliant, right?) and as I took a sharp turn, a pickup came screaming around the bend. In my lane. It was ditch or head on collision, so I took the plunge. Ended up in the ditch, halfway under the boughs of a pine tree. Snow piled up to my windshield and it was so deep I couldn't keep my car running because the exhaust couldn't escape.

Everyone who passed me stopped. A woman got out and practically begged me to come and warm up in her car. Offered to go get her husband to try and haul me out. A tow truck turned around at an intersection to come offer to pull me out (...for a nominal fee). A guy and his son asked if I wanted help. By this time my boyfriend was on his way with his truck and tow chains so I declined their help, but on this dead quiet road at 11 PM where it's not common to see a car for a half hour in the evening, all of the people who passed me stopped and offered help. So, I would disagree when you say chivalry is dead. People need to be cautious nowadays, and I totally respect that, being one of those people myself.
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post #19 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 05:57 PM
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I don't stop to help in general because I'm a woman and do most of my driving on the highway or on roads that aren't well lit. Generally in the dark, too. I know my husband has stopped to help people, but I don't because I worry for my own safety. I'm not any good to my husband or daughter if I'm permanently disabled, a vegetable, or worse. It's sad that I feel this way because of where I live and drive, but it's the truth. It has nothing to do with chivalry being alive or dead.
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post #20 of 44 Old 02-09-2014, 06:53 PM
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I don't usually stop for people because I'm female and small. If it's an animal trailer or looks like its seemingly a woman alone, I will roll down my window and offer to call someone or to stay until someone else comes. Too risky for me to do much more. If I saw a wreck, I would stop.
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