Ok so you're not a girly girly romantic type, but by cohabiting I assume you have a sexual relationship too and not just room mates?
Haha yes - well I certainly hope so! Otherwise I'm taking him back to the shop...
(And yes, we already have a sexual relationship.)
First thing is cohabiting really doesn't indicate if a marriage will be successful. Been there, done that. Lived together for 2yrs and everyday was laughing and talking and we even slept together in a twin bed for the first year always snuggled and happy. Within 30 days of the wedding it was like someone had pulled a bait and switch. Totally different person.
Yup, seen that too! It seems some people's expectations from their partner change dramatically once the ring's on the finger. I don't think that'll happen here but I'm very aware that it happens, and all too regularly...
Anyway that being said, if he wants the same thing you do being aware of keeping communication open and ongoing and working together to keep things afloat then why not just get married? Marrying a best friend with common interezts and having each others back over the years is probably one of the best marriges anyone could want in reality.Having someone to share your happiness with and someone to lean on when you need to lean is priceless.
That being said, I really don't care if single people live with somebody different every 2 years, if it's not fun anymore you can just walk as the other person is adult and can do the same thing and can take care of themselves.
The only reason I'd suggest making it legal instead is because there's a young child involved.I have a 4yr old granddaughter and her daddy will move in with any woman that will support him in an instant, then that becomes Chloes home too on his weekends and holidays, it takes maybe 6 months to a year for these women to wise up and kick him out but by then he's got Chloe calling the woman mama and thinking she has a brother and then all of a sudden one day she doesnt have a brother anymore or the other mama. When this stuff happens repeatedly is it no wonder a child grows up with problemx?
I very much doubt that will happen (though I am well aware of the dangers), but that made me think of something else - things might be a lot easier as far as legal custodianship of the child goes if we're married. If anything happened to him (
) I'd want to have some influence in making sure she was safe and well-cared-for, even though I wasn't legally permitted to do so myself - I'll get some legal advice on this because family law is pretty confusing.
Anyhow, I wish you nothing but happiness but at least consider that a great friendship and comittment to working together is a great foundation for a marriage and a better life for the little one. And it's much easier to just have a roommate than cohabit, at least then your only obligations are financial.
And I completely agree about the friendship point - we have had a very complex relationship due to distance and at times (years ago) both just been friends and had other partners, but he's always been my best friend and been very supportive...and I hope I've been the same. I always feel rather sad when people dismiss friendship as a foundation for a sexual relationship. What happens in a purely attraction-based relationship when the flames of desire burn out for one or both parties?