Common Law vs Married - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 33 Old 02-08-2009, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by RegalCharm View Post
Hummmmm, that brings up the question then
can atheists really get legally married, since they don't believe in God.
... and can they believe in the USA since we are "one nation under God".

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

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post #22 of 33 Old 02-08-2009, 11:50 AM
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And can us atheists actually do anything that was at one time a solely church-sanctioned activity ;)

Marriage for me doesn't hold a spiritual aspect. But the love and people involved mean it's still really important to me. My parents will be celebrating their twenty-fifth anniversary this April!

If you believe everything you read, better not read.
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post #23 of 33 Old 02-08-2009, 11:57 AM Thread Starter
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It seems marriage is a much lighter subject than it used to be. To me marriage causes that commitment to be stronger and a lot more official forcing a couple to try harder during difficult times than their common law counter part. Common leaves that "well we aren't married so if things don't work out, there are less legal issues to deal with".

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post #24 of 33 Old 02-08-2009, 08:40 PM
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I am from a non-traditional albeit still Christian husband was from a very traditional very Baptist background. I have no doubts that his parents truly (naively) believe we didn't have sex the entire 6 years we dated...oops...hope noone in his family happens upon this forum. We were forced to lie quite elaborately for the 2 years that we lived together before we got married. Marriage as a formal official ceremony was not important to me at all. It was somewhat important to him. It was VERY important to me to get all the benefits as far as insurance yada yada that come with marriage. So we were engaged for almost a year and a half and then we planned our wedding in less than 24 hours and got married in a park and had mexican food at a local restaurant after. I am still somewhat perturbed that the preacher announced us as Mr. and Mrs. Mans Lastname at the end of the ceremony. I kept my last name legally although I use his unofficially sometimes at stuff where I just don't want "the conversation" from his more traditional relatives.
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post #25 of 33 Old 02-09-2009, 11:28 AM
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I don't want to sound like a loose woman, but I've done both. I have never been common law wed but I have had long term live in relationships. Compared to marriage, theres no comparison. Marriage really is the tie that binds. I never felt that committed as a live in partner. That being said I wanted to just live with my now husband. He is a ministers son and from a small town so it was out of the question. I insisted, and thats pretty much how we got engaged He wouldn't live with me unless the date was set.
I recommend this method to anyone. Get engaged, set the date then live together till then. Its a lot easier to plan a wedding when your in the same house too.

"Until one has loved an animal, part of one's soul remains unawakened..."
- Anatole France
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post #26 of 33 Old 02-10-2009, 06:56 AM
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I hope I don't start some religious firestorm, but people WERE getting 'married' long before the birth of Christ, so legal unions that are approved by some religious priesthood goes back WAYYYY before 'christianity'. My ancestors, the Kelts, were not 'christian' and yet they had a binding pact made with their 'partners', and consquently, my ancestors, (unlike the Romans who formed the church originally and whom our culture was based from) had the awful idea to not have slaves and to treat women as equals. Boy, wasn't it nice of the Romans to teach them the fallacy of such barbarianisms......

Also, our country was set up by FreeMasons, who were very eclectic in thier views of God, why it doesn't say 'One Country Under YWHW' (Jewish Creator God). While it is not a prerequisite to be officially 'christian' to be a mason, you DO still hafta have SOME idea of a higher power, supreme being or whathaveyou. Technically, I have come to discover that Jefferson was closer to an atheist himself....

But atheists have as much right to marriage as anyone, as well as much right to be in this country as any religous type. WHile it might say 'One nation under God,' the Constitution says that the rights are to ALL men, not just God-fearing ones......

'God' has many names, ya know.

Know thyself, know thy horse.

Last edited by DarkChylde; 02-10-2009 at 06:58 AM.
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post #27 of 33 Old 02-10-2009, 07:31 AM
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Now states that recognize common law marriages divorce is the same
legal nightmare as it is for regular marriages.

Remember Kunta Kinta. All him and the woman did was jump over a broom together and they were married. LOL. That was the marriage
ritual of some African tribes among the slaves in the south. According
to the movie.

but I don't think an atheist can say he/she is an atheist if they are married by a minister or in a church setting. I know people write there
own vows and such but if used in a church type setting they are in
the house of God which they don't believe in. So how can you say
you don't believe in God and then use his house to get married in.

I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
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post #28 of 33 Old 02-10-2009, 07:35 AM
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Well, it all depends on what the service says, what the minister is comfortable with doing, and so on, but for many atheists churches are beautiful buildings with a lot of history and community ... I occasionally attend church services, e.g. for carol concerts, and enjoy them without any spiritual uplift. I wouldn't choose to get married in a church, though.

For me, marriage is important, but I don't believe it has to be for everyone. That's why I'm glad to see governments recognising long-term but not formally unified relationships in their laws.

If you believe everything you read, better not read.
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post #29 of 33 Old 02-10-2009, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by RegalCharm View Post
So how can you say
you don't believe in God and then use his house to get married in.
Maybe if your partner is religious (even if you aren't) and wants to be wedded in a church?

"On hyviä vuosia, kauniita muistoja, mutta kuitenkaan, en saata unohtaa,
Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

Pelle Miljoona - Varjo seuraa onneain

Last edited by TaMMa89; 02-10-2009 at 03:24 PM.
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post #30 of 33 Old 02-11-2009, 06:23 AM
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We didn't get married in a church, I was not happy for some time with churches cuz they wouldn't christen my kids (me and hubby weren't married..... )That sorta turned me off of churches altogether for awhile, altho I DO attend a church now, an Episcipalian (?) one, but that is only cuz they are VERY tolerant of my 'heresy'. (I am a gnostic). But I didn't find that church till after me and hubby were already married.

Know thyself, know thy horse.
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