Crit my website! Please.
   

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Crit my website! Please.

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    08-22-2010, 07:35 PM
  #1
Green Broke
Exclamation Crit my website! Please.

I need an urgent critique on my website, please.

Home - -Laural Lake Farm- Home to meat goats, trail horses, hunter ponies, and so much more...

Everything needs to be looked at, I expect my business to grow and I would like my website to be professional.


Thank you!
Amanda
     
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    08-22-2010, 07:56 PM
  #2
Weanling
Just a few notes as I'm going through.

On your page about Savannah you mention you use her for your "pony parties" however you have a picture of her bucking on the lunge. I assume this is not normal behaviour, but it is a bit off putting for someone looking for a safe pony to ride. It would be a good idea to get pictures of her being ridden in a calm environment to show her skill. Also "dark" isn't really a colour

I think if you cleaned up the place it would show a more professional approach. Not having toys/farming equipment in the pictures will look better

When you mention riding lessons, you may want to mention experience you have with riding and teaching. Showing pictures of the riding facility would be a good step too
     
    08-22-2010, 08:29 PM
  #3
Foal
The first thing that I noticed was the line at the top says:
Home to meat goats, trail horses, hunter ponies, and so much more...

I think by "meat" you mean "meet".
Go over all of your spelling with spell check, and just make sure everything is right. (capitols, punctuation, grammar ect.) This will make it look a lot more professional.
     
    08-22-2010, 08:32 PM
  #4
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by equestrian_rider465    
The first thing that I noticed was the line at the top says:
Home to meat goats, trail horses, hunter ponies, and so much more...

I think by "meat" you mean "meet".
Go over all of your spelling with spell check, and just make sure everything is right. (capitols, punctuation, grammar ect.) This will make it look a lot more professional.
She spelled it right. Meat goats are the ones you eay not the ones you "meet" as in visit.
     
    08-22-2010, 08:42 PM
  #5
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by myhorsesonador    
She spelled it right. Meat goats are the ones you eay not the ones you "meet" as in visit.
Ooh alright. I'm sorry, I didn't know! Haha.
     
    08-22-2010, 08:53 PM
  #6
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by equestrian_rider465    
Ooh alright. I'm sorry, I didn't know! Haha.
its ok. :)
     
    08-22-2010, 08:56 PM
  #7
Weanling
Overall, I think it's pretty good. I didn't find too many spelling and grammar errors, but I would go over that again, just to edit everything. Also, in some cases you may want to reword some things to make it sound a bit more professional. I agree about the Savannah bucking picture thing-if she's being advertised as a safe child's mount, you probably don't want to be posting pictures of her bucking and being...well, unsafe. It looks good though. Good luck =)
     
    08-23-2010, 10:43 AM
  #8
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by saint3meg3rlfc    
Just a few notes as I'm going through.

On your page about Savannah you mention you use her for your "pony parties" however you have a picture of her bucking on the lunge. I assume this is not normal behaviour, but it is a bit off putting for someone looking for a safe pony to ride. It would be a good idea to get pictures of her being ridden in a calm environment to show her skill. Also "dark" isn't really a colour

I think if you cleaned up the place it would show a more professional approach. Not having toys/farming equipment in the pictures will look better

When you mention riding lessons, you may want to mention experience you have with riding and teaching. Showing pictures of the riding facility would be a good step too
Bold: I have more pictures of her, I'll change it asap. I know "dark" in't a color, but I've been told she's liver chestnut, buckskin (really? Lol), bay, dark bay, but I think she's extremely a bleached out black. So I didn't know what to put. She's also lightly roaned.

Bllue: Could you show me what pictures they are? My farm isn't that big so everything doesn't have a place for itself.

Red: I will mention my experience, but maybe instead of my facilities (because they're kind of embarrassing..) I have a picture of me helping a kid?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ilyTango    
Overall, I think it's pretty good. I didn't find too many spelling and grammar errors, but I would go over that again, just to edit everything. Also, in some cases you may want to reword some things to make it sound a bit more professional. I agree about the Savannah bucking picture thing-if she's being advertised as a safe child's mount, you probably don't want to be posting pictures of her bucking and being...well, unsafe. It looks good though. Good luck =)
Could you show me where? Sometimes I can't find them all.
     
    08-23-2010, 10:48 AM
  #9
Banned
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovemyPhillip    

Bllue: Could you show me what pictures they are? My farm isn't that big so everything doesn't have a place for itself.
Having a small place means you have to even more so have a place for everything. If you are going to run a business out of a small place you need to be able to keep it neat and clean.

It is also better to not post a photo than to post a bad one. A photo that makes your horse look less than good will only turn people away.

The busy backgrounds on the photo pages needs to go. Very distracting. Not very professional.
     
    08-23-2010, 12:05 PM
  #10
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovemyPhillip    
Could you show me where? Sometimes I can't find them all.
All of the quotes from your site are normal, my responses/fixing things are in bold. The direct changes are underlined...so bear with me, I'm really picky about this stuff ;)

The Home Page
He is currently up for stud, more information can be seen here.
He is currently up for stud (, and OR ;) more information can be seen here.

We will start officially breeding our Boers this fall, so be looking for early Spring kids!
" ", so be looking for early spring kids.

We should also have farm fresh eggs in the fall, look on the For Sale page for further information.
" " in the fall; look on the " ".

The Contact Us Page
-when you say "Our little hobby farm is home to many animals" and then go on and list them (Dogs, Cats, Goats, Horses, Poultry), don't capitalize these words. (The same goes for the next sentence.)

Amanda, and Laura & Wayne Usher manage the farm.
Amanda, Laura and Wayne Usher manage the farm.

Amanda has been working hard on training LLF's two ponies, working to show at the end of this year, and summer of 2011.
Amanda...ponies. We are working towards showing at the end of the year and in the summer of 2011.

We began in August 2008, this is when the acreage was acquired, clearing the land ourselves has been quite a long, though worthy, process.
Maybe instead put: We acquired the farm in August 2008, and clearing the land ourselves has been a long, though worthy, process.

He is greatly missed, & always in our hearts. May 8th, we acquired our first doe.
He is greatly missed and will always be in our hearts. On May 8th....

The Horses Page
ZEPH:

...he is able compensate to well in whatever environment he is placed in.
" " compensate well " "


The Goats Page
Conformation, temperament, and blood important,
" " and blood are important...

That''s all I could find for now (sorry my computer was going whack with the different fonts). I apologize for the excessive corrections, but...well, anyways, there you are.




     

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