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Crit my website! Please.

This is a discussion on Crit my website! Please. within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category
  • wayne usher spotslyvania

 
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    08-23-2010, 01:41 PM
  #11
Weanling
There was just a few pictures where I got distracted by things in the background
http://i34.tinypic.com/kbymh.png

Is this your farm? I found it in the recent photos section.
-Laural Lake Farm- Home to meat goats, trail horses, hunter ponies, and so much more...

If so it'd be a great one to use

This is a good picture to show your pony parties. Girl with helmet being led.
Pony-Parties - -Laural Lake Farm- Home to meat goats, trail horses, hunter ponies, and so much more...
It shows off Savannah a lot better
     
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    08-23-2010, 02:03 PM
  #12
Yearling
(the quotes are directly from your site)
"Laural Lake is a 10.5 acre property, just over the line of Caroline County, and Spotsylvania County."
Lnstead of using so many commas, you may want to take all of those out. (Laural Lake is a 10.5 acre property just over the line of Caroline County and Spotsylvania County.)

On your albums page, you spelled 'storm' wrong in "After the Storm".

"Amanda, and Laura & Wayne Usher manage the farm."
L'm assuming that you all share the same last name because you have no last name listed for Amanda and Laura, so instead you could write: "Amanda, Laura, and Wayne Usher manage the farm."

"We spend our days grooming, feeding, and training our horses & goats, visitors are welcome!"
Maybe use 'and' instead of '&'. Also, these two sentences don't really go together. Maybe you could write, "We spend our days grooming, feeding, and training our horses and goats. Visitors are always welcome!" You may also want to request that people call ahead before visiting so you are sure someone will be able to answer any questions they may have and/or give them a tour of your facilities.

(On Zeph's page)
"Although he is blind in his right eye, and has clouding in his left, he is able compensate to well in whatever environment he is placed in."
Lnstead of overusing commas, you could just say, "Although Zeph is blind in his right eye and has clouding in his left, he is able to compensate well in any environment he is placed in."

"For more photos' of Zeph, please click here."
The apostrophe is not necessary after the word photos.


Lf you're sure that you are qualified to give lessons and teach people well, l would put a section on your experience, in what disciplines you have experience, how old you are, your last name, not just Amanda, any showing experience you may have, how long you have been riding, etc.

You also may want to take the blog out. Lf you want to keep it, that's fine, but l would save that kind of stuff for somewhere else. Lf you DO keep it, l would stop using terms such as 'LOL' if you want to give a professional impression. Just a thought!

Lt seems like you've really got a good start on this. Good luck!
     
    08-23-2010, 03:34 PM
  #13
Weanling
Out of curiosity, have you ever considered learning HTML? It's easy to learn the basics, and you can ask somebody to do an initial web design and set everything up for you so that you can then maintain and run it yourself. I actually do a lot of web design in DIV Layers (IFrames, et cetera), HTML, and CSS myself, and I'd be more than glad to help you with anything!

Also, maybe take a look at other websites and get an idea on how to better set up a page, place photos and graphics, and deliver content in a more organized and streamlined way! These are some good examples:
Tullstorp Dressage Stable - Startpage
KestrelRidgeFarm.com :: Boarding and training facility in Alberta, Canada
     
    08-23-2010, 08:52 PM
  #14
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by saint3meg3rlfc    
There was just a few pictures where I got distracted by things in the background
http://i34.tinypic.com/kbymh.png

Is this your farm? I found it in the recent photos section.
-Laural Lake Farm- Home to meat goats, trail horses, hunter ponies, and so much more...

If so it'd be a great one to use

This is a good picture to show your pony parties. Girl with helmet being led.
Pony-Parties - -Laural Lake Farm- Home to meat goats, trail horses, hunter ponies, and so much more...
It shows off Savannah a lot better
No that is not my farm, lol. That's Woodpecker, a place I ride at.
     
    08-23-2010, 08:56 PM
  #15
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by anrz    
(the quotes are directly from your site)
"Laural Lake is a 10.5 acre property, just over the line of Caroline County, and Spotsylvania County."
Lnstead of using so many commas, you may want to take all of those out. (Laural Lake is a 10.5 acre property just over the line of Caroline County and Spotsylvania County.)

On your albums page, you spelled 'storm' wrong in "After the Storm".

"Amanda, and Laura & Wayne Usher manage the farm."
L'm assuming that you all share the same last name because you have no last name listed for Amanda and Laura, so instead you could write: "Amanda, Laura, and Wayne Usher manage the farm."


"We spend our days grooming, feeding, and training our horses & goats, visitors are welcome!"
Maybe use 'and' instead of '&'. Also, these two sentences don't really go together. Maybe you could write, "We spend our days grooming, feeding, and training our horses and goats. Visitors are always welcome!" You may also want to request that people call ahead before visiting so you are sure someone will be able to answer any questions they may have and/or give them a tour of your facilities.

(On Zeph's page)
"Although he is blind in his right eye, and has clouding in his left, he is able compensate to well in whatever environment he is placed in."
Lnstead of overusing commas, you could just say, "Although Zeph is blind in his right eye and has clouding in his left, he is able to compensate well in any environment he is placed in."

"For more photos' of Zeph, please click here."
The apostrophe is not necessary after the word photos.


Lf you're sure that you are qualified to give lessons and teach people well, l would put a section on your experience, in what disciplines you have experience, how old you are, your last name, not just Amanda, any showing experience you may have, how long you have been riding, etc.

You also may want to take the blog out. Lf you want to keep it, that's fine, but l would save that kind of stuff for somewhere else. Lf you DO keep it, l would stop using terms such as 'LOL' if you want to give a professional impression. Just a thought!

Lt seems like you've really got a good start on this. Good luck!
Thank you this was very helpful.
I'm a minor, and I do not wish to let the whole world know my last name. My dad would throw a fit if he found out I used "Usher". My mother is remarried.
I may take out the blog.
     
    08-23-2010, 08:57 PM
  #16
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by dressagexlee    
Out of curiosity, have you ever considered learning HTML? It's easy to learn the basics, and you can ask somebody to do an initial web design and set everything up for you so that you can then maintain and run it yourself. I actually do a lot of web design in DIV Layers (IFrames, et cetera), HTML, and CSS myself, and I'd be more than glad to help you with anything!

Also, maybe take a look at other websites and get an idea on how to better set up a page, place photos and graphics, and deliver content in a more organized and streamlined way! These are some good examples:
Tullstorp Dressage Stable - Startpage
KestrelRidgeFarm.com :: Boarding and training facility in Alberta, Canada
Thank you! But no at the moment it seems to complicated for me! Lol, I'm struggling with things the way the are now.
     
    11-30-2010, 10:31 PM
  #17
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovemyPhillip    
Red: I will mention my experience, but maybe instead of my facilities (because they're kind of embarrassing..) I have a picture of me helping a kid?
If you facilities are 'kind of embarrassing', where exactly are you planning on 'teaching' your lessons? Are you currently taking any lessons? What is your show experience?
     
    11-30-2010, 10:39 PM
  #18
Green Broke
Why do you insist on pursuing me? I don't show, I have no time. But I worked under Beth Linton, a well known trainer in the hunter community around here, for 5 months. I've been riding for about 5 years. I've helped break 6 ponies, and trained 3. I've taught beginners, and I would classify myself as a high intermediate rider. I only want to teach beginners, nothing more. I've taught 2 people how to w/t/c on my property.. I also worked teaching special needs children to "ride" (more like therapy on a pony..). After I feel the kids need to move on, I'd pass the on to Beth, more business for her.
     
    11-30-2010, 10:44 PM
  #19
Foal
Pursuing you is asking you to answer simple questions? I just want to know what your facilities are. Anyone who is planning to teach anyone, especially beginners, should be able to answer that.

I thought your goal was to buy a new horse to show?
     
    11-30-2010, 10:45 PM
  #20
Green Broke
That is my goal. For the next 2-3 years. Message me, I don't need to tell all my business on 3 different threads.
     

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