Criticism- How do you react? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

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post #11 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 02:56 PM
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I agree Face, I meant to say something like that as well. I went to the beach with a friend yesterday and she was upset because I thought we should wear bathing suits and go swimming. I spent the first hour pointing out the fact that nobody has the perfect body and she looked just fine. If you have a body, you have the body to flaunt, so long as you have the attitude to match.

"How to get a bikini body in one easy step: put a bikini on your body" can apply to just about anything.
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post #12 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel View Post
Let me just say that I do not dress provocatively because I don't think I have the body to flaunt.

However despite that fact everytime I buy a dress my mother says it's too short. She spends 10 minutes blankly staring at me before saying something.

I get quite defensive (it's something I have to work on) but how do you respond to that?

The dress is always a smidge longer than my arms relaxed gently down at my sides.
I would stop asking her. If you're getting the same reaction all the time why do you think next time will be different?
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post #13 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 03:04 PM
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I want to say ' whats a dress?'
My mother used to be just like yours - not just clothes, pretty much everything and then when I was a mother myself I realized that I was exactly like her
Maybe she's just worried about you giving off the wrong message to young men without even realizing it
I am a firm believer in women's rights but in a perfect world all men would behave like gentlemen - unfortunately in the real world a lot of them don't
It would be awful if you had to find that out the hard way
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post #14 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 03:54 PM
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^^
You don't need a short dress to find that out!
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post #15 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 04:10 PM
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^^^You're right there!!
Some of them don't need any encouragement at all
Apologise to all you decent men out there - not your fault that some give you a bad name
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post #16 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 05:19 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Faceman View Post
I just wanted to make a comment on your "don't have the body to flaunt" comment.

I have known many women with average or even not so good bodies that carried themselves well, dressed well, and projected an attitude that made them very attractive. And I have known many women with killer bodies that had poor posture, didn't carry themselves well, and projected a bad attitude...those women are not attractive at all...in short, you are as attractive as you feel and project to others...
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Originally Posted by alexischristina View Post
I agree Face, I meant to say something like that as well. I went to the beach with a friend yesterday and she was upset because I thought we should wear bathing suits and go swimming. I spent the first hour pointing out the fact that nobody has the perfect body and she looked just fine. If you have a body, you have the body to flaunt, so long as you have the attitude to match.

"How to get a bikini body in one easy step: put a bikini on your body" can apply to just about anything.
Yeah I have confidence issues as it is. I used to not care but then people would focus only on my faults like presence of stretch marks and it got to me.


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Originally Posted by DancingArabian View Post
I would stop asking her. If you're getting the same reaction all the time why do you think next time will be different?
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I feel I should clarify that I don't ask her. It's merely she blankly stares at me, which bothers me (and she knows that) and then over time voices her opinion. Or sometimes she just blurts it out as we're getting ready to leave the house

Sometimes the whole family, including my dad, gangs up on me about what I'm wearing.

I am a very modest girl. Even all of my shorts are on the long side. I don't do daisy dukes and usually wear tights under my skirts especially for work because I don't like showing a ton of skin.

~~~

So I guess I'll try to just stay neutral and not get all riled up. I'll be moving out in December anyway so I can keep it all together until then!
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post #17 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 05:39 PM
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Just try and remember that whatever she says your Mum loves you. When I was in my late teens I had some awful arguments with my Mum over the most stupid things that when I look back weren't worth it at all. She died very suddenly and I'm just glad that we were friends when that happened as you can't turn the clock back
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post #18 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 05:44 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by jaydee View Post
Just try and remember that whatever she says your Mum loves you. When I was in my late teens I had some awful arguments with my Mum over the most stupid things that when I look back weren't worth it at all. She died very suddenly and I'm just glad that we were friends when that happened as you can't turn the clock back
Very true

We used to fight more but recently it hasn't been that bad. Just once in awhile she'll just say something that is plain mean and it perplexes me. But I guess that is part of what everyone deals with

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #19 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 05:53 PM
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Being a parent isn't easy - we do our best but no ones perfect.
Things go wrong - sometimes just silly little things that get all out of proportion - like yesterday my husband driving off to JFK fro a flight to Europe with my yummy quiche sitting on the back seat because he forgot to take it out when he unloaded the rest of the shopping
It was such a silly thing to get upset about especially when all I had to do was drive a mile up the road to get another one but it made me so angry at the time and then I'm out of sorts with everyone
Boy is that car going to stink when he gets back in it in 4 days time!!!
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post #20 of 40 Old 07-01-2013, 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel View Post
I feel I should clarify that I don't ask her. It's merely she blankly stares at me, which bothers me (and she knows that) and then over time voices her opinion. Or sometimes she just blurts it out as we're getting ready to leave the house

Sometimes the whole family, including my dad, gangs up on me about what I'm wearing.

I am a very modest girl. Even all of my shorts are on the long side. I don't do daisy dukes and usually wear tights under my skirts especially for work because I don't like showing a ton of skin.

~~~

So I guess I'll try to just stay neutral and not get all riled up. I'll be moving out in December anyway so I can keep it all together until then!
There is a light at the end of the tunnel at least!

When they comment, thank them for going out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself. Don't let them turn it around on you. Parents or not, they should be held accountable for being mean.
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