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Criticism- How do you react?

This is a discussion on Criticism- How do you react? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        07-07-2013, 12:28 AM
      #31
    Showing
    When I do receive some, it's always constructive and I always take it positively because there is a reason for it. If I find out someone has something to say about me however without me being aware of it, and I find out-I WILL be putting an end to it immediately and you better watch out because I have ZERO tolerance for it.
    Rumours are immature, and I find only someone with some serious self esteem and mental health issues does it, and it needs to be stopped. Easy solution in my books.
         
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        07-18-2013, 08:58 PM
      #32
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel    
    Let me just say that I do not dress provocatively because I don't think I have the body to flaunt.

    However despite that fact everytime I buy a dress my mother says it's too short. She spends 10 minutes blankly staring at me before saying something.

    I get quite defensive (it's something I have to work on) but how do you respond to that?

    The dress is always a smidge longer than my arms relaxed gently down at my sides.
    I think it is normal to get defensive when your mother offers a critique. You take what your mother says more personally and when you get older you get more conservative.
    Hidalgo13 likes this.
         
        07-18-2013, 09:01 PM
      #33
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by churumbeque    
    I think it is normal to get defensive when your mother offers a critique. You take what your mother says more personally and when you get older you get more conservative.
    I don't think it's exactly that though. Yes she's my mother but the way in which she says it..

    If she said it like that to her friends, strangers, or colleagues.. she'd likely upset them.
         
        07-18-2013, 09:14 PM
      #34
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by churumbeque    
    I think it is normal to get defensive when your mother offers a critique. You take what your mother says more personally and when you get older you get more conservative.
    My dad thinks any thing above the knees is to short no matter the body type. When watching something on TV and women have on shorts/short skirt and a skimpy top that's a skin flick. Women running around in bikinis in a show might as well be porno far as he's concerned. He's had this attitude my entire life so it's not always getting more conservative as you age.
    Hidalgo13 likes this.
         
        07-19-2013, 09:02 AM
      #35
    Green Broke
    I'm a little oversensitive. I pretend not to be, and I always put on an indifferent face, but I do not respond well to criticism. Normally though, I bury my feelings, smile and go on.

    However, if my mother were to comment on anything I just get irrationally annoyed/upset. I don't know why. But she can drive me mad like nothing else. I think it's just what comes with families.
         
        07-19-2013, 05:10 PM
      #36
    Showing
    It sounds like there could have been a much nicer way for her to comment on your dress.

    I hate to say that, if you live at home and you're under 18, her house, her rules. To comment on the length of the dress....I would have likely agreed with your mom on the length of the dress, because the length of your arms for length seems so short to me-but that's me
         
        07-20-2013, 12:23 AM
      #37
    Started
    Me it's my dad. When I buy skinny jeans (and I don't even buy the super tight ones, but the "looser types"... you know the ones that bunch up around the ankle and are a bit spacious around the calves)... anyhow he always complains that my jeans are too tight and too small. I get so riled up when he says that. Last time I went to buy jeans with him (was 15 and am now 18), I bought the size he wanted me to (he was paying), and seeing as jeans always stretch a little, after one wash they were so loose I'd have to constantly pull them up. Drove me stir crazy, so when he just mentions my jeans I get suuuuuper mad.

    Same thing with dresses, they are always too short for my father despite being longer than mid-thigh (and I'm small so dresses are generally longer on me than they were intended to be). Anyhow I can sympathize with you. It's hard to not get all defensive and riled up when parents comment on our clothes. Especially if we think the exact opposite and they say it with a tone...

    What I try to do is hold back any rude comments... however I do blow up and get mad, clearly expressing my unappreciation and lack of interest in their opinion. I have a very sensitive conscious so if I do something I find even sightly inappropriate (and I do consider myself to be rather conservative), it bothers me very much until I fix it. In those cases I accept any comments my parents will have to say on the subject (no matter what their tone). When I know I'm not in the wrong though, any ridiculous comment from them drives me crazy.

    However, I'm sure I'll drive my daughter crazy as well when the time comes. ;)
    Skyseternalangel likes this.
         
        07-20-2013, 12:55 AM
      #38
    Foal
    You guys, unless yo live with your mom, or she's paying for it, out your decision, that being said, I'm very close to me mum(my parents are divorced) and we talk about most things.
         
        07-21-2013, 05:45 PM
      #39
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by My2Geldings    
    It sounds like there could have been a much nicer way for her to comment on your dress.

    I hate to say that, if you live at home and you're under 18, her house, her rules. To comment on the length of the dress....I would have likely agreed with your mom on the length of the dress, because the length of your arms for length seems so short to me-but that's me
    I'm 21 this year, and moving out in December back to the states. A bit too expensive to move out here unfortunately, without having to give up my horse (which is not going to happen, ever)
         
        07-21-2013, 10:59 PM
      #40
    Showing
    The thing is, with a skirt that short can you bend down, even a little without offering a peep show. Or sit in a chair without the person opposite seeing all the way up to your belly button? Probably not.
         

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