Debate: Spanking children? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 38 Old 03-22-2010, 10:17 PM
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I was never spanked, but I don't have a problem with parents spanking children as long as it's done correctly. However, I do respect my parents very much and I don't feel like I missed out on something because I was not smacked every now and then. Like horsemanship, it isn't always fair to punish the horse/kid when the problem could be your upbringing. If you are a lousy parent and never tell your kids the rules, only punish them when they break them etc, then you should not be spanking your child. Lay out the boundaries with your child before the misbehaving incident occurs so he has a chance to behave correctly without being punished first.

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post #22 of 38 Old 03-22-2010, 10:59 PM
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My three boys know that they get ask once, told once, and then it's spanking time. I don't keep count on the times that they get spanked but it's on a downward trend now. I want them to understand consequenses. When they are toddler age they can't be reasoned with and you can't take away thier TV so you can either scream at them, let them do what they want or give them a little spanking that scares them more than hurts them. I don't like the first two alternatives but the last one workds quite well. As my kids get older they get less spankings but when one is needed I don't hesitate and they know that if I threaten to spank them I will if they don't shape up.

They are also learning how to take an ass chewing and take responsibility for thier actions. One thing that I hate is when a grown man will make excuse after excuse when a mistake has been made or get all bent out of shape when someone says something that might not be real nice. I have been in situations where I could have furthered my carreer if I had diverted blame but I would rather have my integrity. I hope that I raise men that feel that way too. If a spanking is what it takes to do it then I will spank them untill they are 18 years old. I will not raise pansy girly boys. My boys will know how to behave like a man.

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post #23 of 38 Old 03-22-2010, 11:21 PM
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I agree with a lot of what Kevinshorses post states. I have a girl but I still want her to take responsibility for her actions.
I have had people say that I am hard on her but it is like the saying goes "shape up or ship out" If she goes into something half ass I will say something to her about it , not because I expect perfection but because I want her to take pride in the things that she does, and do it to the best of her ability.
As far as spanking , I think there is a time for it. I was spanked as a child and it didnt take long when my Father asked me to do something all he had to do was look at me at certain way and I straightened up.I do not think that an open hand smack on the butt is abuse.
My daughter is older now to the point that I can explain things to her or simply say , "You know better" and that mostly ends it. There are the times that I have to raise my voice to her to get her to understand I mean business and what she is doing is not acceptable.
On the other end of that , I do try to look at things as : Is this going to matter in 10 years? and pick my battles wisely. If it is something petty that can go overlooked ....I wont say anything but if it something that makes her a better person in the long run I def. will! After all, as a parent it is my job to make sure she grows up to be a honorable , functional member of society.

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post #24 of 38 Old 03-23-2010, 01:56 AM
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I was spanked as a child.

Never needed it again, I only hope MY kids will be that easy when I grow up.
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post #25 of 38 Old 03-23-2010, 06:21 AM Thread Starter
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My father never raised his hand to me but god was I deathly afraid of my mother, haha.

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post #26 of 38 Old 03-23-2010, 07:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Delfina View Post

My kids are 9 and 6 and I can't recall the last time they got spanked. There are much more effective ways of punishing them now that they are old enough to understand losing privileges and having extra chores to do for misbehaving. Want to spend your time talking back to me? Oh goody.... enjoy washing dishes, scrubbing bathrooms and folding laundry!
Doing household chores is a punishment?

I thought it was just part of being a member of a family and pulling your weight around there, age appropriate chores.
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post #27 of 38 Old 03-23-2010, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind View Post
Doing household chores is a punishment?

I thought it was just part of being a member of a family and pulling your weight around there, age appropriate chores.
I think she meant EXTRA chores. At least that's how it is in my home. My son, at 6, already has a full load of age appropriate chores he is responsible for every day - feeding his dog, watering the horses, giving Freyja her grain (after I've measured it of course), sweeping the barn aisle, and cleaning his own pony's stall (though I push and dump the wheelbarrow, he IS only 6). When the chickens get here, egg collecting will be added to his chores, which he is already aware of. When he gets extra chores as a punishment, it's usually not a daily chore. He's had to pick up all the walnuts out of the yard, before, and he's had to scrub the deck before.

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post #28 of 38 Old 03-23-2010, 07:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind View Post
Doing household chores is a punishment?

I thought it was just part of being a member of a family and pulling your weight around there, age appropriate chores.
Keyword: EXTRA

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are certain and the intelligent are full of doubt"
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post #29 of 38 Old 03-23-2010, 08:08 PM
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Oh yes... it's EXTRA!!

My kids have done chores since they were able to walk. We started with picking up toys, putting dirty clothing in the hamper and moved on from there as they became able to do other chores.

Our horse lives at my sister-in-law's place. My girls understand that in exchange for her taking care of her on the days we don't go out there, we take care of all the horses on the days we do. They've complained a couple times but we stick with the No cleaning = No riding and so complaints are few and far between.

In our house if you waste Mommy and Daddy's time by misbehaving, whining, throwing tantrums and so forth, you get to do chores that we normally do.

My husband and I both work fulltime from home and this is a concept our kids understand. Mommy could be working right now but instead I am having to watch you clean up your room since I asked you twice and you didn't do it. Therefore, you will wash the dinner dishes tonight so I can work then.

Last edited by Delfina; 03-23-2010 at 08:14 PM.
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post #30 of 38 Old 03-23-2010, 08:44 PM
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Gee, where was this debate when I needed input for a speech two months ago, haha. Anyway, I was spanked but only for the extremely serious infractions and honestly I can tell you that whatever it was that I did, I never did again. And even then I do know that I was never spanked more than two times that I can ever remember it happening. I was also given the soap in the mouth, only once though. If done correctly and only when absolutely necessary,and only up until the kid can truly understand reasoning and the taking away of priveliges, it's , in my opinion, alright.

"And somewhere in the northwoods darkness a creature walks upright. And the best advice you may ever get is: Don't go out at night..."
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