while i understand the plight of the parents i too was in a situation where my (step) dad was constantly telling me i didnt know what i was on about and he was the adult so he must be right blah blah blah some of things you have mentioned sonny are like exact replicas of things that happened with me and my dad.
dad didnt understand nor know a whole lot about horses but because my biological dad was a horse man my step dad had to pretend he knew as much which ended up putting a lot of strain on me. even by the time i was in my early teens i was still being told i didnt know what i was talking about even though at that point i'd been riding and dealing with horses for about 8 years.
i ended up getting grounded one time because i dared stand up to my dad and tell him that a ponys height ends at 14.2hh and then they become a galloway to 15.2hh and then after that, a horse (size wise). i dont know how it works over there but thats how it goes here. dad was dead set that a pony was only something like a shetland and anything bigger than that was a galloway/horse. i got grounded for 2 weeks because my dad couldnt accept he had it wrong.
there were countless times when i would either be embarassed in front of people or was made to feel really bad all because dad didnt understand.
many years later when i was an adult i bought all this up with dad (among other things) and he admitted that he did wrong by me all those times. yeah sure, he loved me to pieces but that doesnt change the emotional effects this kind of treatment can cause. those kind of actions make you feel like they dont like you and thats tough for a kid. dad said he knew he was wrong to treat me like that but never offered an explanation.
i know its hard as a parent (im not a parent but i had my god daughter for 2 1/2 years a while ago so i got some practice in :)) but sometimes its hard for a younger person to understand that a lot of times parents make it up as they go and because of that they dont always make the right choices. however, i dont think this is an excuse for a parents lack of thought. thats what it comes down to and thats how i dealt with things with my god daughter. i would ask myself how mum and dad fixed such problems when i was young and basically do the opposite lol or i would think of a punishment etc and then think about how that would be for me as a young person. i found by doing this that my god daughter responded well even through discipline and we became much closer due to the understanding between us. that was the prob with her mum. she was too hard on her and never ever thought that the things she said and did had any effect on her daughter. but the reality is that all things that happen as a kid no matter whether they are good or bad have an effect on a person quite often for the rest of their life.
having said all this im not taking either side here but i do feel the need to defend the youngen. parenting is a priviledge and not a right and with such a huge priviledge bestowed upon us people should take their JOBS as parents seriously. even the smallest of actions that may mean nothing to an adult might be a real drama for a youngen. if a parent is doing anything that upsets their child it needs to be addressed.
maybe you should try having a heart to heart with your dad. explain to him how he is making you feel and that if there is any problems he can talk to you about them. you will gain or loose his respect and either way you know where you stand.
this may not be the best advice in some peoples eye but im working this based on experience with my own father.
if all else fails understand that your dad loves you and the bottom line could just be that he feels unable to share the horses with you as he doesnt know anything about them. the one thing ive learnt over the past 12 months is that it doesnt matter what happens and how much you may dislike your parents sometimes they are still your parents and if they werent there, you would sorely miss them. i have buried both my step dad and biological dad in the past year and my mother was diagnosed with cancer in november last year. when these things happen you realise just how insignificant all the other things are.
even if he p's you off its better that he is there p'ing you off than not there at all ;)
good luck with your situation and i hope you can put it to rest soon