Feeling...I don't know... - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 16 Old 07-04-2013, 08:14 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
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You both were married before. His 1st marriage didn't make it even 1 Year. Perhaps he just doesn't want to get married right now until he is sure its going to work with you.

besides, you have only been together for one year. That is nothing. When its 2-3 years and he hasn't saved for a ring or purchased one then you can start get mad and worried.

no need to rush things. Thats how relationships fail.
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post #12 of 16 Old 07-05-2013, 07:34 AM
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You and your family obviously have different expectations to him.

You seem quite traditional so in that way I doubt I am able to really understand your situation.

But if you're at the situation where you feel you should get married, and he seems not to particularly care at all, then I would probably sit down and talk about it with him.

I'd say, "I feel I want to get married within the next 12 months, what do you feel?" or something to that effect, I'd soften it out a bit. He might want to get married but his idea is in 2 or 3 years. I would just be honest, up front, and find you if you're really on the same page.
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post #13 of 16 Old 07-05-2013, 08:30 AM
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I second LaPorte, he may just want to wait. I would too if I was in his situation, I'm sure it is frustrating but give him some time. It sounds like he is thinking about it, just not ready. Its a huge, very permanent step and he may just want assurance that you two are well together for a longer amount of time.

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post #14 of 16 Old 07-05-2013, 08:33 AM
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Marriage is a big step-no need to rush. No need to go to an island, either, civil ceremonies are just as binding. Sure, a "beautiful" wedding at a pretty location is nice, but it doesn't make the marriage any more lasting. You two have had issues as to $$, vehicles, tickets, impounds, jobs, etc. Getting your lives a bit more stable first might be something to think about. It is not fun just dealing with one crisis after another.
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post #15 of 16 Old 07-07-2013, 09:24 AM
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Seems that you've been talking about that a lot but have you talked to him about your worries that you've regarding his thoughts? Like sit him down and tell him that the wedding is very important thing for you but you're a bit worried about it what it means for him? And that sometimes, you have feeling that the ring issue isn't the actual reason behind all this and if he might has some other reasons that make him worried, regarding to getting married. Be sure that you don't make it sound accusative but just like a sincere question and show that you're purely just interested in him views.

The family situation sounds complex but it's absolutely good thing that he's standing for you.

Good luck with the issue. I see you being traditional but sometimes the other part might just needs a tad more time .
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post #16 of 16 Old 07-07-2013, 07:38 PM
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The word marriage means huge responsibility which can be a frightening proposition to a lot of men. If he keeps ducking the issue, I think of it as keeping a foot in two doorways, in case one doesn't work out, he can always go thro the other door.
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