Feeling so down
 
 

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Feeling so down

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        11-19-2013, 05:27 PM
      #1
    Green Broke
    Feeling so down

    I guess just what the title says... Lately I have just been feeling so down. I haven't been riding since I sold chrome and that definitely adds to it. I finally got a job that I mostly enjoy but I know I will need to move on to something better soon as it just isn't cutting it. I haven't been able to save for my move to texas like I had hoped since everything bad that could happen, has. We got back my boyfriends old dog, $140 in nueter and shots, my care needs power steering pump, control arm and a few other things and my boyfriend can not keep track of what bills need to be paid..... He relies on me when I make the least and give him money whenever I can. His truck needs almsot a full front end, figure out why it wont pass smog and get insurance on it. We also have a cat who needs to be fixed and need to build a yard for the now 2 dogs since we have till next july till our lease is up.

    I'm only 18 yet I feel so stressed and stretched.. I should be going to school right now but I can't even afford that because the only school that offers the classes I want for vet tech is a 2 hour drive away and my car wouldn't make it right now :[.

    I just feel like everytime I start to get ahead and feel like we are moving forward towards our goals we got stopped. I duno its just really making me feel so down, I just want to move already this town has nothing left to offer. My boyfriend just can not seem to step it up he only works till 2 every day and could very well get a second job, hell I've even been looking for a second job but he will not do it. He wont do stuff with me even a short walk with the dogs is a hassle. He would much rather gripe and moan about how ahrd he works all day and how I don't understand and he has the right to be lazy, and well sure he does but I can not sit in a house all day every day doing nothing it drives me crazy. He also has this big list of things he wants but never once has he said "hey babe what would you like ?" but he sure as hell can complain how he hasn't gotten his carhartt or beanie yet and how he wants the ps4 nd I should get it for him for christmas -_-.

    Ugh ok sorry rant over.. I mis riding hate my town and am frustrated with my life :(
    aubie likes this.
         
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        11-19-2013, 05:57 PM
      #2
    Green Broke
    So many hard-working gals get together w/guys that don't have the same ambitions. Seems to be a lot of that going around right now-it's really sad. Wish I could tell you it would get better, but there are rough times ahead, for sure. Getting some education so you can get a good-paying job is the best thing anyone can do for themselves. Hope things get better for you soon. There could be some tough decisions ahead.
         
        11-19-2013, 06:07 PM
      #3
    Trained
    You've brought this up before...And I'm sticking to what I've said previously. Ditch the guy! All he is doing is DRAGGING YOU DOWN! He is doing nothing good for you...

    Get out while you can and you will be so much happier. I promise you.

    You are a treasure and a good person. You deserve someone that is going to treat you well and give you what you want and need. Not be selfish and get what HE wants...
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        11-19-2013, 10:39 PM
      #4
    Weanling
    I agree with CLa in regards to your guy. He is just a negative force in your life. You know it and allow it to happen. You need to focus on some way to go to school and it needn't be the school of your dreams. You will no better and more positive decision in your life than to invest in yourself. Certainly it is going to be tough, but it's the single best investment you can make.
    Take out the garbage and ditch the clutter in your life. Take control and quit seeking ways of why things aren't' working. Time to be a little selfish and embrace the future. You know you can do it, so quit being afraid and do it.

    I'm betting on you. Best of luck !
         
        11-19-2013, 11:15 PM
      #5
    Trained
    Your situation will never improve until you improve your situation.
    Walkamile and Hidalgo13 like this.
         
        11-19-2013, 11:44 PM
      #6
    Showing
    I don't get why females have such a hard time ditching a loser? How many times do we hear about boyfriends, husbands and horses, "he can be so sweet", sure, as long as everything is about them. Did you give in to your horse's demands. Not likely. I'll bet the more you stood your ground the more respect you got. Try that with your loser boyfriend. In a couple of years you'll be knocked up because there was no money for birth control and I can promise you, it will be your fault - according to him. After a couple of more kids he'll vanish and you'll be wishing you'd gotten your vet tech. Education. Did you sell the horse because of his bills/wants?
    Hidalgo13 and Rideordie112 like this.
         
        11-20-2013, 01:01 AM
      #7
    Green Broke
    Um saddlebag I can assure you there will be no children here till I can properly care for one I am in birth control and will not put it aside got something else. And no I sold chrome because I was struggling to find a job and he was a non stop vet bill that I unfortunately could no longer afford even with my moms help. I didn't see it as fair to keep him when I couldn't afford the care he needed. I had a job lined up that fell through asst the time our he would have stayed longer, he was meant to just be a project and rehome as his previous life was not good and I wanted a barrel house but couldn't turn him down.

    I know I brought it up before but shortly after that he seemed too be straightening out and it just hasn't stayed like that. I think I'm only having a hard time because he's been my shoulder to lean on way before we were together, if he were just another guy I'd have no problem but he is someone who once was always ether gore me.

    I have really been fighting back with him and it is becoming clear he wants it his way our no way and it is beyond frustrating. I knew him before this so its hard to accept that he is really turning out to be like this.
    natisha likes this.
         
        11-20-2013, 02:24 AM
      #8
    Yearling
    As much as everyone is probably thinking the exact same thing about your boyfriend, nobody but yourself can make the decisions about being with or without him, and quite frankly I have seen too many of my friends push themselves farther into a bad relationship and away from the loved ones giving them advice to even try that route any more. If you are going to figure it out, it will be on your own terms in your own time. Just go with your gut.

    As for the other stuff, remind yourself of the little things in life that keep you smiling day to day- your dog comes and lays at your feet, a beautiful sunset, heck, a nice calming shower! Draw on the little things to keep you going and try not to dwell on the big picture every waking minute, because you have a lot of life left to live and with all the hard work you're putting in now it will pay off in time.

    Good luck, keep your chin up!
         
        11-20-2013, 10:59 AM
      #9
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BarrelracingArabian    
    Um saddlebag I can assure you there will be no children here till I can properly care for one I am in birth control and will not put it aside got something else. And no I sold chrome because I was struggling to find a job and he was a non stop vet bill that I unfortunately could no longer afford even with my moms help. I didn't see it as fair to keep him when I couldn't afford the care he needed. I had a job lined up that fell through asst the time our he would have stayed longer, he was meant to just be a project and rehome as his previous life was not good and I wanted a barrel house but couldn't turn him down.

    I know I brought it up before but shortly after that he seemed too be straightening out and it just hasn't stayed like that. I think I'm only having a hard time because he's been my shoulder to lean on way before we were together, if he were just another guy I'd have no problem but he is someone who once was always ether gore me.

    I have really been fighting back with him and it is becoming clear he wants it his way our no way and it is beyond frustrating. I knew him before this so its hard to accept that he is really turning out to be like this.
    When you refer your BF in good terms they are all in the past tense. That is very telling. Of course he's great when you first meet but now if he's there for you it's in words only. People change but more likely their true colors start to show after time.
    A lot of your post shows concern for him, his stuff etc. At 18 you shouldn't be having to worry about anyone but yourself.

    Have you looked into getting any school help, financially? Help for you alone.
    There are resources available.

    You can't lean against something that can't stand on its own. Yes, your situation is grim but that guy isn't making it any better. If he wants everything his way, let him have it- with someone else.

    What about family & friends, what do they think about this situation?
         
        11-20-2013, 01:21 PM
      #10
    Yearling
    This reminds me of myself over a year ago. The relationship anyway. You speak of anything good about him in past tense. Quite honestly your 18 your growing up, your boyfriend isn't. I was with someone for 2 years, we were both 17 when we met. Well as we both got out of school, me a year ahead it was evident who was more motivated. I worked and paid for everything, he appreciated nothing. He got fired from every job he had because he was to lazy to get there on time. I realized I had changed while he hadnt and the new me no longer liked him. Only you can decide to stay or not, but sometimes it's for the best to just do what makes you happy. Never let someone take your happiness away.
    Posted via Mobile Device
         

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