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Finding friends your own age with similar likes

1K views 11 replies 10 participants last post by  Rebelwithacause 
#1 ·
Does anyone else have trouble finding friends who have similar likes and hobbies?

After college, all my friends moved away to other states. This is a college town so there seem to be 2 groups of people: The college students, and the retirees.

I don't have a single friend my own age. It seems like people in my age group are either working full time, raising children, or moving away!

All the people I ride with are older than me, sometimes as old as or older than my parents. Not that I don't appreciate them, but I miss having friends my own age!

Do most people my age just stop riding horses? Or do they show? Barrel race? Are they somewhere else? Is there something I'm missing here?

I've only met one couple my age riding at the local state park. They were not at all friendly.

I've thought of joining a photography club or maybe one of the bird watching clubs, but they meet all the way in town which is a good 25 mile drive there, and another 25 miles back again. The nearest horse club is outside my county. Although now that I have a truck that won't break down on me, I could probably go to a few meetings.
 
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#2 ·
It is difficult finding quality friends in general. Most of my best friends live far away. I went through the stage where they all had children and developed new friends along with keeping my old ones. Most of my friends we may not see each other for years and then just pick up where we left off.
If you want horse friends join some clubs or groups. Board at a place with similar age people.
 
#4 ·
Let's face it pretty much everything dealing with horses is expensive. Folks just out of college, raising families, pretty much everyone in the 20-30 yr old range just don't have the kind of money it takes to keep active with horseback riding. The same is true for a lot of other hobbies like boating, travel, etc.

I'm not familiar with your town but there must be at least a few people your age in the same financial/social boat that share some interests with you. Have you looked at Find your people - Meetup ?

You might have to go looking pretty hard but as long as you want to do more than hang by yourself on your computer there are almost certainly a few people out there looking to meet someone like you.
 
#5 ·
Ive learned to be friends with a variety of people of many ages. To be honest I dont get along with people my age very well. Girls are petty and guys are immature. I have a few friends who are my age who have been friends with me for years, but there are only 2 or 3 people I even talk to at school. One is my age, 19, butthe other is 25 and the hardest working guy I know. I cant stand most guys my age!

I also have many adult friends wgo don't consider me to be inferior or anything due to my age. Theyre 40, 34, 29, and 31 respectively and I love knowing them because they give great advice. I have a few young friends too. A 14 and 16 year old.

IMO age does not matter. Maturity level does. I dont get along well with people my age because I have to be extra mature and they don't. Their naiivity annoys me. I also work 35 hours a week and go to school full time at an honors college. I dont have time to just hang out wasting half a day most of the time, and others my age dont get that.
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#7 ·
Being a non-christian older woman with Arabian cutting horses in the middle of stock horse bible belt country makes MY social life a bit short too. I've learned to appreciate anyone with a good bit of common sense.
 
#8 ·
I am just grateful to have someone to ride with. Some of the people I ride with I don't know well, relatively speaking. I just don't want to ride alone into areas no vehicle is going to make it. When I first moved here, I flagged a rider down and asked if they would like to go riding with me sometime. That took all I had, as I am the opposite of outgoing - but it worked out nicely. If you see someone your own age riding, maybe you should talk to them and do the same.
 
#10 ·
I flagged a rider down and asked if they would like to go riding with me sometime. That took all I had, as I am the opposite of outgoing - but it worked out nicely.
I am not outgoing with new people as well and can be very timid until I get comfortable. Good for you for doing this! I don't think I would have been able to. I know it took me a lot of guts to just join the local saddle club and attend meetings where I didn't know anyone.
 
#9 ·
I also don't make friends easily. I work and then go to class at a non-traditional college nearby. I have one friend my age that lives nearby, and I can only take so much of her because she's just...well...I can't explain it in one sentence. Most faithful gal pal a girl could have, but she is just so out there that she doesn't follow social norms, which is okay in some instances but uncomfortable in others.

I have made many friends at work, mostly people that are much older than I. I have two coworkers around my age, but both are immature and petty. I tend to hang out with the gals in their 60's, though I have one gal I ride with sometimes who is 30 and a total hoot.

Most of my church friends are also well into their sixties. Greatest friends a girl could have though. They are all wonderful people who aren't Bible-thumping hypocrites but rather, kind people who do good to the world.

I also ride with the local saddle club with the ladies in their sixties. I really like people in their sixties apparently. :D

Do you have a local saddle club? Get involved if you do! Don't write off people with different ages than you. If they respect you and you respect them, it'll be a great relationship. I personally love older people because they are freer with their time and can join you often because their kids are out of the house. They've also been around the block a few times (usually) and you can learn from their life experiences and they know how to have good, clean fun, and I think more of them are true and honest people than people in their twenties these days.
 
#11 ·
The beauty of being single is the ability to go and explore other places. I traveled a lot with horse shows and just to vacation. After college, I was traveling somewhere at least once a month. I can say I have no desire to travel outside the USA. I have been to Canada and the falls are pretty as are the beaches in Mexico, but I like the USA.
You are young and single , get up and go. You have one chance at life , take advantage of it. Unless you are serving a jail sentence , there is no reason not to explore. When you find an area that you like, simply make the move.
 
#12 ·
I found making friends in my mid 20's was difficult. I was kind of in the same scenario-- everyone was either into the college partying scene, or older and much more established than me. I have found in the past year or so, some really great friends. Some of them from the barn I go to, a couple from work and a few from friends-of-friends type of thing.

The best advice I have is, you have to put yourself out there and invite people to do things. I was always afraid I would come off as creepy or desperate, but friend making is a lot like dating. You see if your interests align, you "go out" and then you decide if the relationship is worth pursuing. There have been some duds, or people who after spending some time with, I distanced myself from. Just don't be afraid to invite someone on a trail ride or to go have dinner one night.
 
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