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Forget politics! I have a 3yr old...

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  • "had to drop our pants" dad
  • "drop our pants" belt

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    03-30-2012, 03:16 PM
  #11
Super Moderator
Well, I 've heard it said that girls are easier to raise, initially. But, when they become teens, then it's payback time; they are much more challenging to a parent's skills than a teen boy. I wouldnt' know, I only have boys.

My oldest has Aspergers Syndrome and was EXTREMELY oppositional as a child. He would do the opposite of everything. He would resist everything. It was more important for him to fight the battle, than to get his own way.

Spanking him turned out to be a mistake because it only made him more determined to fight back. I still tried it, though, many times. But, like Kevin said, you cannot do it in anger, and I am sure that's the biggest mistake I made.
That son grew to hit back and he and his father even came to blows. Very bad .

However, now we have a good relationship and the really trying times of the past are long forgotten.

The younger child needed only the smallest of swats to be completely chastised. I think he was spanked maybe three times . Totally different person.
     
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    03-30-2012, 03:27 PM
  #12
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyliny    
Well, I 've heard it said that girls are easier to raise, initially. But, when they become teens, then it's payback time; they are much more challenging to a parent's skills than a teen boy. I wouldnt' know, I only have boys.

My oldest has Aspergers Syndrome and was EXTREMELY oppositional as a child. He would do the opposite of everything. He would resist everything. It was more important for him to fight the battle, than to get his own way.

Spanking him turned out to be a mistake because it only made him more determined to fight back. I still tried it, though, many times. But, like Kevin said, you cannot do it in anger, and I am sure that's the biggest mistake I made.
That son grew to hit back and he and his father even came to blows. Very bad .

However, now we have a good relationship and the really trying times of the past are long forgotten.

The younger child needed only the smallest of swats to be completely chastised. I think he was spanked maybe three times . Totally different person.
It is said that girls are easier, but you'll NEVEER hear that come out of my mouth. I think I have the worlds most difficult child. She is ADHD and in the process of possibly diagnosing bi-polar disorder. She hits, kicks, bites- laughs at spankings! Ugh, don't even want to get started! I have tried all the super nanny techniques, tried emotionally removing myself, tried behavior charts, rewards, etc. I am terrified of how she'll be as a teenager, hence the reason we have seen 3 professionals by the age of 6! Trying to fight off the latter possibilities, I simply can't handle it. I'm already turning grey in my hair and I'm only 26! Good luck again to the OP!
     
    03-30-2012, 03:41 PM
  #13
Started
I like the hanging the paddle in the kitchen somewhere idea... my parents did that it was a 3 in by 8in paddle that said mistakes are not aways forgiven.

All my siblings including myself had this paddle used on us atleast twice. But no more than that. The times they used it they made sure it counted otherwise its pointless. And we always had to get the paddle before punishment and bend our own bodies over our parents knees. So it was known that we did something wrong know own it.

But to each there own lol ... goodluck with your little monster ;)
     
    03-30-2012, 04:12 PM
  #14
Weanling
I have four children and let me just say that there is no one way that will work for all of them. I have one child who will cry if I raise an eyebrow... I have one that won't give in even if I spank.... Sometimes you have to get creative. It sounds like your little one has learned to work the system. Personally the first thing I would deal with is the apology/agreement before you're done speaking. If I am speaking, no child has any business talking, even to apologize. It boils down to respect. Generally you don't have to do any more than stop talking until the kid is quiet, and then start over, all the way at the beginning. Keep doing it until they're quiet til you're done... They get really tired of having to sit there and listen to you say the same thing over and over and pretty quickly wait until you're done talking to say anything. (Perhaps that doesn't matter to you, but its a big pet peeve of mine!)

A spanking can often be the tool that will break the cycle of disrespect and disregard from a child who will not listen or do what they are told.

As for the loud voice, I like the whisper idea and have used it effectively. I did have one child who just didn't get it, and that child got picked up, carried to their room, told they could come out when they were quiet and could speak in a quiet tone of voice because they were hurting my ears, and then I held the door shut without saying anything until the child was quiet (my oldest would NOT stay in her room unless you held the door shut), you'd think it would take forever, but it really doesn't.

Again, no one method will work for every child, and you just have to keep experimenting until you find the one that works for yours. Good luck!

Kathy
     
    03-30-2012, 04:17 PM
  #15
Yearling
Thanks everyone for the input!!! I don't have a problem spanking...except I FINALLY got him to stop trying to slap me across the face or hit when he didn't his way (which is quite often, LOL). And he's a smart little sucker, every once in awhile when he gets completly out of control, he has gotten spanked. You know what the little stinker says (between the crocodile tears of course), "You said no hitting!!! You need a time out!!!"

I don't want to give you guys the wrong impression about him. Overall he is actually a fairly good kid, just can be quite stubborn:) He says please and thank you (well actually he says "nicely" instead of please, because we had to keep asking him to ask nicely, LOL). Daycare tells me he's EXTREMLY well mannered and polite when he's there, he's great about sharing his toys, etc. I know this is a phase, but when he gives himself a time out it's like "REALLY?? You aren't supposed to do that!!"

I won't even get STARTED on my daughter!!! LOL
     
    03-30-2012, 04:21 PM
  #16
Yearling
The funny thing is I used to be 100% worse than both my kids combined!!! (Yes, I know, payback is a b****) All my dad ever had to do was say "watch it sister" and I'd behave (for a little while). He tried that with my daughter, she just said "I'm not your sister"
     
    03-30-2012, 04:30 PM
  #17
Started
Bahaha goodluck busysmurf you got a good one there lol
     
    03-30-2012, 04:38 PM
  #18
Green Broke
In today's world, any type of physical discipline is said to be abuse. When I was growing up, we knew our punishment. Dads belt came off and we had to drop our pants. Didn't matter when or where, maybe not in church, but any where else, we got it. It did hurt but the embarrassment was way worse. Because of that we were good kids for the most part.

I think we should be able to spank out children but in the presence of their peers. I think may would change their tune pretty quick.
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