Friends. Your friend is a pose to be by your side very sec. Wondering if everything is okay. What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna come over? Lets go for a trail ride. Holding hands side by side. Her beautiful smile lights up her own eyes. Her hair swaying in the wind as we ride through the sunset with our horses. Her laugh is such a cute laugh, like nothing I've heard before. Makes me want to smile every time. You tell her anything that comes to mind, like if you have a boy problem or your just asking a random question. Or even talking about your feelings. You don't tell anyone, you keep it to yourself. When something bad happens you talk to her about it. Well guess what, something bad just did happen.
I wasn't a true friend to her. Yeah, I would get her nice things, complemented her, made her laugh and have fun.... but I couldn't keep my mouth shut either. She told me something no one should ever know about (which I will not be saying on HF). I was afraid, scared, horrified. I told my mom and my mom did something a parent would always do. My friend found out from her parents.....She hated me... I didn't know what to do I froze...and lied. I'm a complete failure. And after a lied to her...I kept lieing, I couldn't stand the truth..... I made her feel like she was the bad person...when it was me..... I could tell her that because I was so angry...at myself...I couldn't stand up to her. I let her down, killed her heart...and now....now she doesn't even look at me like she used to. And the worst part is....It was because of me. I did it. And we have been in so many situations like this before that I'm afraid she will never take me back. Just the thought of her makes me want to cry, I miss her... So I sent another message telling her to never talk to me ever again...I thought that I was doing the right thing, I thought that the only way to keep her....is to set her free...
Why..... Now I stand with guilt.