Friends dictating where I "should" be in my relationship?!? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 14 Old 08-17-2013, 05:57 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Surry, Va
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a bigger issue is your own self esteem. Why do you feel the need to justify your relationship status to a third party ?
For that matter why do you feel the need for validation of your relationship status on an internet forum ?
The fact that the issue even bothers you enough to waste time thinking about it tells me there are deeper issues at work.
You cant control other peoples thoughts and words. You can only control your reactions to them.
The cause AND solution to your problem is looking at you in the mirror.
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post #12 of 14 Old 08-17-2013, 06:47 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
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Well joe I can tell you that my self esteem is fine and I don't feel the need to justify my relationship to anyone. The problem here is that my best friend of ten years things she knows what's good for my relationship better than I do. I've been dealing with this for like two years now and I thought I'd get some fresh perspectives on dealing with it rather than saying the same stuff over and over again because at this point it's gotten really old and I don't want to be mean. This is a girl who moved in with her boyfriend after 6 months of dating. I was happy for her and continue to be happy for her, but that's not the life for me. I can't even talk to her about "that cute thing he did the other day" or "we joked about naming our kids this" because it'll turn into this unpleasant conversation I don't want to have.
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post #13 of 14 Old 08-17-2013, 07:19 AM
Join Date: Nov 2012
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Sit down with her and tell her EXACTLY what you said on this thread. Seriously. You can just say, "I know that you're concerned about the relationship I have with X, but I just wanted to say that a) both he and I are very happy just as we are, b) while I appreciate your concern it isn't necessary and we're not going to change no matter what you say, and c) I don't think it's appropriate to be judging me by the standards that you are."

You can set whatever tone in this conversation you like.

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post #14 of 14 Old 08-17-2013, 08:01 AM
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Don't listen to anyone - whether they tell you that you are too young, too old, not moving fast enough, or moving too fast. Its YOUR relationship - consisting of two people and only those two peoples opinions matter. If you are both happy with where it is heading, tell your friend you appreciate the thought but the advice isn't needed and stop listening.

I have been told 20 is too young to be engaged - but it is 100% right for both of us so that is what we are sticking to. If she is a true friend she wouldn't be judging - I would say she is just jealous or insecure herself.

Horses lend us the wings we lack;

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