Friends dictating where I "should" be in my relationship?!? - Page 2

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > General Off Topic Discussion

Friends dictating where I "should" be in my relationship?!?

This is a discussion on Friends dictating where I "should" be in my relationship?!? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

    Like Tree4Likes

    LinkBack Thread Tools
        08-17-2013, 06:57 AM
    Green Broke
    A bigger issue is your own self esteem. Why do you feel the need to justify your relationship status to a third party ?
    For that matter why do you feel the need for validation of your relationship status on an internet forum ?
    The fact that the issue even bothers you enough to waste time thinking about it tells me there are deeper issues at work.
    You can't control other peoples thoughts and words. You can only control your reactions to them.
    The cause AND solution to your problem is looking at you in the mirror.
    Sponsored Links
        08-17-2013, 07:47 AM
    Well joe I can tell you that my self esteem is fine and I don't feel the need to justify my relationship to anyone. The problem here is that my best friend of ten years things she knows what's good for my relationship better than I do. I've been dealing with this for like two years now and I thought I'd get some fresh perspectives on dealing with it rather than saying the same stuff over and over again because at this point it's gotten really old and I don't want to be mean. This is a girl who moved in with her boyfriend after 6 months of dating. I was happy for her and continue to be happy for her, but that's not the life for me. I can't even talk to her about "that cute thing he did the other day" or "we joked about naming our kids this" because it'll turn into this unpleasant conversation I don't want to have.
    Posted via Mobile Device
        08-17-2013, 08:19 AM
    Sit down with her and tell her EXACTLY what you said on this thread. Seriously. You can just say, "I know that you're concerned about the relationship I have with X, but I just wanted to say that a) both he and I are very happy just as we are, b) while I appreciate your concern it isn't necessary and we're not going to change no matter what you say, and c) I don't think it's appropriate to be judging me by the standards that you are."

    You can set whatever tone in this conversation you like.
        08-17-2013, 09:01 AM
    Don't listen to anyone - whether they tell you that you are too young, too old, not moving fast enough, or moving too fast. Its YOUR relationship - consisting of two people and only those two peoples opinions matter. If you are both happy with where it is heading, tell your friend you appreciate the thought but the advice isn't needed and stop listening.

    I have been told 20 is too young to be engaged - but it is 100% right for both of us so that is what we are sticking to. If she is a true friend she wouldn't be judging - I would say she is just jealous or insecure herself.

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:


    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:28 PM.

    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0