Had a long, tiring day..and need serious advice.

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Had a long, tiring day..and need serious advice.

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  • After a long and tiring day i miss you
  • Girlfriend has had a long tiring day

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    01-19-2011, 07:39 PM
Had a long, tiring day..and need serious advice.

My mom had court today about custody of my sisters and I. The judge issued a guardian ad litem. My mom was very upset, and she would have to pay a lot of money for someone to be snooping in our business..deciding who would have custody. I wanted to speak to my father, that I haven't seen in years. So I asked my grandma if she would take me over to his ranch. I have to admit that I was very scared. I walked up to his doorsteps, and was greeted by my dad. His girlfriend was very rude, and left the room. I talked to him, and let him know how I felt. He came to our house later to work out an agreement with my mom about visitation rights. They dont' want the court involved. I have to see my dad this Sunday, and I'm really scared. I want to see him, because I miss him very much..even though he has put our family through way too much. I'm deathly afraid of his mother, who will be there. I'm just happy, because he is going to let me ride horses. (He owns a horse stable, and offers lessons)

How can I ignore his girlfriends rude comments, and deal with her kids? How am I going to deal with my grandma? I'm going to try to be strong, but I'm really nervous.
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    01-20-2011, 07:47 AM
Maybe horses will bring yal together, you could try to bond with him, I never had the chance my dad worked a lot and he traveled a lot to. If I could I would try to contacted my dad but I can't.

The kids oh, ummm well the'll probably take after there mother so just stay clear of 'em until your more comfortable, Grandma well if she has any respect she'll take you in and love you like a granddaughter, The girlfriend well she'll think your trying to get more attention then her kids are from your dad, try to involve then in what you do if that's possible.
    01-20-2011, 07:57 AM
The guardian the court appointed is not a bad thing. I know your mother found it frustrating, but really, it is a good thing. They are there for you (you = the kids), no one else.
One would think your mother would like having someone to look out for what is the best interest of her kids.

I am guessing your father's girl friend has her nose out of joint because of your father being frustrated by all the court issues. Though she may never be your best friend I am guessing things will calm down once all the issues have been resolved.

Go, enjoy your father. Get to know him (not just what you have been told about him). Let the others have their petty issues and do not let them ruin your enjoyment of your time with your dad.
    01-20-2011, 10:39 AM
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I'm sure this all feels scary.

Sometimes adults (referrring to your dad's girlfriend) can have problems with all the hassle related to the blended family things. It's still good to remember that whatever happens and whatever is going on, you've all rights to be your dad's daughter. Like AB said, she may calm down once. Could you try to approach her open, nice way? I also agree with AB that the guardian court isn't a bad thing, it's organized just for you. How about your grandma, is there some special reason why you are afraid of her? Like HopalongCassidy said, it's possible that she'll turn out well .

May you'll have some new people richening your life besides your dad. Could you try to take it this way?
    01-20-2011, 01:45 PM
When I walked in his girlfriend wouldn't even look at me. She came out when I was talking to him, and just stood there. I wanted to say good bye to her, but she didn't say a word to me the whole time. I just feel so weird and scared...I haven't seen him for so long, and his girlfriend doesn't want my sisters and I there.

And his mom, has always kind of scared me. When I was young, I would keep away from her. I guess I was kind of shy though too, so that might be why. I also saw how she confronted my mom and called her a douche bag at court.

And when I talked to my dad on the phone to ask him when he was picking us up, he asked if my mom was driving us there. We live about a hour away, and he doesn't have his drivers license..so his girlfriend has been having to drive him to see us. Which is probably another reason why she hates us so much.
    01-20-2011, 01:53 PM
How old are you? (You can give a range if you do not want to post an actual age. Under 14, Under 17?)

Sometimes adults act stupid. Period.

Your father's girlfriend has her life. She sees you and your sister as intruders in her life. Add that your father does not have the ability to make you part of his life with it being a hassle to her.
She is just having a snit fit.

She does not hate YOU. She hates what you represent. Huge difference. A difference that is hard to feel is different, I realize. I have been there. My father's second wife seemed to hate us.

Can your father make other arrangements for you to get there? Can your mother drop you off and your father finds a way to get you home?

Here is your challenge. Be a bigger person than the adults here. Smile and be nice to your father's girl friend and her kids. You will know in the end, no matter what happens, you did the right thing.
    01-20-2011, 02:29 PM
I'm on my mom's phone, so sorry for any typos or anything. I'm 16 and my sisters are 15. My mom is going to be at work when he comes to get us.
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    01-20-2011, 02:34 PM
So you are old enough to be the adult in the relationship (vs your Dad's girl friend). Which I realize is not how it is supposed to be.

I am sure this is hard for your dad too. I am guessing his girlfriend makes him miserable about the whole situation. She wants her life to be her life, not her life with interruptions. (I have also been the girl friend, I know how frustrating it can be, though I did try to not let the boys know how frustrated I was.)

Do not let her ruin your opportunity to enjoy your father!
    01-20-2011, 02:40 PM
I'm just going to take your advice and be as friendly as I can.
    01-20-2011, 02:49 PM
Being as friendly as you can is never a bad thing.

You do not have to run and hug her and such. Just be polite and happy.

Can not wait to hear about your fun riding at your Dad's place.

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