Have a baby - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 24 Old 05-10-2012, 12:51 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Oregon
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Originally Posted by elumar View Post
Getting married first ? ha well, I suppose we are too new fashioned for that. We must have this 'abstract fear' of these huge procedure called divorce with courts and lawiers and fees. I'm sorry it doesn't sound very romantic but I don't know..........one could argue mariage is the commitment to god that's gonna make you remain with the person no matter if things are turning sour..ok I gotta think about that.....
Divorce is easy, raising a child is hard, especially if you have to do it alone! Marriage is something that is supposed to last forever, tho for many reasons it does not. But a child??? That's your child FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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post #22 of 24 Old 05-11-2012, 08:58 AM
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Originally Posted by elumar View Post
Thank you for these answers. thanks to all of you. What worries me is the stats have proven many kids when turning teenagers are escaping reality by joining teens online community.Many teens prefer to pour their heart out on line won't do it to their parents
You know these things called internet filters. You can easily make sure your kids don't got to silly website, or you can simply not give them internet access. But the best you can do is share everything with them so they'll never hesitate to tell you about any ideas they have, even bad ideas
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post #23 of 24 Old 05-11-2012, 09:44 AM
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Thank you for these answers. Thanks to all of you. What worries me is the stats have proven many kids when turning teenagers are escaping reality by joining teens online community.Many teens prefer to pour their heart out on line won't do it to their parents

Yes, it makes sense to ignore the 2 people who love you the most (or should) and get advice from complete strangers who don't know all of the details and don't have your best interest in mind.

This, too, shall pass........
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post #24 of 24 Old 05-11-2012, 05:10 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
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People who aren't emotionally or mentally ready to have a child, simply should not. I am twenty one years old, managing a boarding barn and show team of five. I have a man who's waiting on our wedding day, and a support group around me ten people deep. My life is an every day struggle thanks to the mental and emotional damage my upbringing had. I have an anxiety problem requiring medication (it almost destroyed my relationship with the love of my life, but he is a strong and understanding man and I'm lucky to have him), I also have meds for depression and spent six months institutionalized for "self harm". I have group therapy once a week, and a one on one every tuesday. My mother was nineteen when she got pregnant, had my sister a year later, married a cruel abusive man to make it right, gave up her life, became bitter and cruel and manipulative. It ruined her life. She found my step dad and keeps him on a very short leash. She's emotionally abusive because she wasn't emotional mature enough to handle parenting. She's physically abusive because she's not emotionally mature enough to control herself. She's mentally abusive to the point where trust is a non issue, everything she says, in my opinion is a lie until proven otherwise. Not all of the problems in my life were caused by my mother, when I ran away the first time I made choices that will haunt me for the rest of my life. However, I would not have run away had I felt safe with my mother. the choice she made to lay down with a man before she was mature enough to deal with the consequences has ruined not only her life, but also mine. I hope this helps you understand that bringing a child into the world before you and your partner are secure as a pair, and truly capable of handling parenthood, can have huge consequences extending way beyond childhood. Raising a kid should be a joyous, crazy, wonderful adventure for two people, confident in their relationship and their physical, mental and emotional ability to raise a child.
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