Help or advice on this money issue would be greatly appreciated...
 
 

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Help or advice on this money issue would be greatly appreciated...

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  • do i still have to pay board of the horse is under my name

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    04-29-2012, 08:08 PM
  #1
Weanling
Help or advice on this money issue would be greatly appreciated...

I have an issue that I need help with, especially from horse people. I made some decisions, and I'm pregnant. I am 16 years old.
The father is willing to stand by me through thick and thin, and has already proven to me he says what he means. We are exploring our options on what to do with the baby. We are leaning towards keeping it, but I need some opinions on how to handle it financially.

Our parents don't know yet, and we plan on telling them, together, very soon. We want to have our plan set in stone before we tell them.

The problem is, I have two horses. One is a quarter horse gelding, age 12, and the other is a roan filly, age 7 months. The board for the both of them is $450, and both of my brothers are in college. I have faced the fact that I will have to sell one of them, and probably tap into my college fund to support the baby.

Basically, I'm asking you guys, how do I decide which horse to sell? I think the older gelding will be easier to sell in my area. I'm just looking for his happiness, not any achievements I want him to fulfill. But it would be so hard...he was my first horse and best friend when nobody else was there. This baby is the newest addition, and I'm not sure it would be possible. I'm under a contract where the filly was free, as long as she is owned by ME and boarded at that property for a year. She has more potential due to her age, and I know she would be happy with me. However, she would likely be more valuable.
HOW do I decide this? Any advice?

*Please don't be critical over what has happened. It has already happened, and nobody can take it back.
     
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    04-29-2012, 08:15 PM
  #2
Green Broke
I don't think you fully realize and appreciate the costs involved in raising a child if you feel that the savings of board on one horse is going to be the key to the whole issue. You have already stated that the filly is not yours to sell, so I don't understand why you would ask anyway.
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    04-29-2012, 08:19 PM
  #3
Trained
I will not criticize you, I would probably do the same thing you are doing in keeping the baby. Like you, I could never be unselfish enough to go through nine months of pregnancy to give the baby away, I couldn't do it. I am in awe and repect of mothers who can do such a loving thing for a baby. You are correct about the gelding being easier to sell, and would bring in more money for you as well because you are going to need it for that baby.
     
    04-29-2012, 08:21 PM
  #4
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by themacpack    
I don't think you fully realize and appreciate the costs involved in raising a child if you feel that the savings of board on one horse is going to be the key to the whole issue. You have already stated that the filly is not yours to sell, so I don't understand why you would ask anyway.
I completely agree. I guess I sort of needed to get my thoughts out, have someone call me ignorant over it, and then realize what needs to be done.
     
    04-29-2012, 08:28 PM
  #5
Showing
OP, I agree with other poster: you don't seem to realize how expensive it is to raise a baby (and even getting to the point of delivery is not cheap unless you have a very good insurance). Unless your parents (or parents of the daddy) have money and OK to pay for your horse(s) you probably will have to get rid of both for quite a while.
     
    04-29-2012, 08:29 PM
  #6
Green Broke
I hate to say it, and you won't like me for saying this, but I believe your best option for now is to give up BOTH horses. You will need a LOT of time to concentrate on that baby, and even more time if you plan to still go to college, which I hope you do. A lot of people don't understand this, but when you have kids your time and a good portion of your life is not your own anymore. You have to make decisions that work out best for the child and will help you raise it to be everything it can be. Making the best of who you are will greatly help that, and that means college.

There are many financial things that factor into babies. Diapers, bottles, clothing etc. You will most likely need more than you think you do. And, you have to think of all the "what if's" What if something happens and you can't breast feed or your baby has special feeding needs. This happened to me and my son ended up on formula that cost 40 dollars a can, and he needed at least 4 cans a week until he was over a year old... that really adds up. What if it has other special needs? You really need to get your self set up to handle mentally, emotionally, and financially.

And, you need to see where your parents stand. You may not think it's important now to have parents and other relatives on your side, but in the long run it is... because you need all of the emotional support you can get right now. If the father is the only emotional support, you will have a very tough road ahead of you.

I know I sound a little harsh, I don't mean to..... but as I said, you need to decide what is good for the baby, and they may not necessarily be what you want or what is good for you. You can get more horse's later, I know it's a tough pill to swallow but it is a step towards being the mature young lady that you will need to be in the very near future.
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    04-29-2012, 08:38 PM
  #7
Green Broke
I don't think you are going to have time to deal with horses given your situation. They are better off in a home that they will be worked and you won't have to worry about the financial burden and time required to put in them both. But I suppose the best would to be see how your folks react and are willing to participate in helping.
     
    04-29-2012, 08:41 PM
  #8
Foal
Your priorities are about to rapidly shift and it's not always going to be easy to make decisions based on someone else's needs rather than your own. You are at least thinking that you will have to give some of your activities up, it's a step in the right direction. But honestly it's going to be awhile before you can fully engage with horses again. While pregnant there will come a point when you shouldn't ride anymore. Then afterwards there will be an issue of hiring a babysitter while you go to the barn, which will greatly limit how much time you have to exercise or train them. Keeping one or both horses is probably not going to be possible. You wouldn't be doing yourself or them any favors.

Many people I know who are older than you and decide to have kids have chosen to give up horses for a few years due to the financial burden, time, and logistics.
     
    04-29-2012, 08:42 PM
  #9
Trained
I agree with KV and Cinny that giving up both horses would be the best option. You can always buy another horse down the road, but once you hit 6-7 months pregnant, chances are, you will barely spend anytime with your horses. And until your child is over a year old, you'll barely have any "me" time.

You need to talk to your parents immediately. I mean, like yesterday. Get a plan of action and go from there.

And I do hope the father stays by your side and is good for you and the baby. So many men these days don't stay...Let alone a boy.

Best wishes to you and your family on deciding the future.
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    04-29-2012, 08:45 PM
  #10
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by CLaPorte432    
I agree with KV and Cinny that giving up both horses would be the best option. You can always buy another horse down the road, but once you hit 6-7 months pregnant, chances are, you will barely spend anytime with your horses. And until your child is over a year old, you'll barely have any "me" time
LOL My son is 2 1/2 and I barely get a couple hours a day of "me" time. I have to decide between a nap, a shower, and the horse. Seriously.... not kidding!

And yes, that strong horsey odor is me!!! I'm the one that smells bad of horse and barn and looks like she's going to keel over from lack of sleep :)
     

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