I realize no one here is a professional, but I'd still like some starting advice.
Let me start off by saying I have social anxiety. Most social situations are very difficult for me, and it has prevented me from doing a lot of things in life. But between horses and music I've managed to keep myself pretty happy.
However, it's getting harder to cope through college. I have a scholarship where I have to keep a 3.2 GPA. I've just declared a major so until now I've been taking basic courses which have bored the heck out of me. In general I don't try very hard unless something really interests me, then you can't tear me away. Even though I've always done well in school I never really put forth much effort, except in classes I enjoyed. I've always hated school work, homework, sitting through lectures, etc. Regarding homework, I usually can't focus well and if I don't find the topic remotely interesting I get distracted. I'm a terrible procrastinator and always say that if I was in a room with nothing but myself and my homework I would still find ways to avoid doing it. I don't want to be this way, I really wish I could get into it and try, but mentally I just go nuts.
I'm also having to deal with people more and do more on my own, and it's hard with my anxiety. My mom doesn't really understand because she's very outgoing and I live in my head. I'm constantly comparing myself to others and often feel like I don't live up to my friends and family's expectations.
The things that I do that I'm proud of-accomplish something with my horse, learn a new song on piano, run a longer distance-make me feel absolutely awesome but then later, like now, I sit back and realize that in the grand scheme of things none of that really matters. Everyone around me mainly focuses on how we (sister and I) do school and college-wise. There's so much more that I do and love that I can't even express or that no one cares about. I work my butt off for that stuff.
Between hating school work, anxiety, and pressures from those around me I just feel so overwhelmed. I find myself crying and feeling broken down quite often. My mom talks to me some but it doesn't really help. I've got so much built up inside that I have no clue how to get it all out.
This post may sound all over the place but that's how it is in real life. I can't pinpoint any one thing that's wrong or any one way I feel. I guess all in all I feel overwhelmed, sad, and angry at myself for being this way, and I honestly have no idea what to do anymore.
Let me start off by saying I have social anxiety. Most social situations are very difficult for me, and it has prevented me from doing a lot of things in life. But between horses and music I've managed to keep myself pretty happy.
However, it's getting harder to cope through college. I have a scholarship where I have to keep a 3.2 GPA. I've just declared a major so until now I've been taking basic courses which have bored the heck out of me. In general I don't try very hard unless something really interests me, then you can't tear me away. Even though I've always done well in school I never really put forth much effort, except in classes I enjoyed. I've always hated school work, homework, sitting through lectures, etc. Regarding homework, I usually can't focus well and if I don't find the topic remotely interesting I get distracted. I'm a terrible procrastinator and always say that if I was in a room with nothing but myself and my homework I would still find ways to avoid doing it. I don't want to be this way, I really wish I could get into it and try, but mentally I just go nuts.
I'm also having to deal with people more and do more on my own, and it's hard with my anxiety. My mom doesn't really understand because she's very outgoing and I live in my head. I'm constantly comparing myself to others and often feel like I don't live up to my friends and family's expectations.
The things that I do that I'm proud of-accomplish something with my horse, learn a new song on piano, run a longer distance-make me feel absolutely awesome but then later, like now, I sit back and realize that in the grand scheme of things none of that really matters. Everyone around me mainly focuses on how we (sister and I) do school and college-wise. There's so much more that I do and love that I can't even express or that no one cares about. I work my butt off for that stuff.
Between hating school work, anxiety, and pressures from those around me I just feel so overwhelmed. I find myself crying and feeling broken down quite often. My mom talks to me some but it doesn't really help. I've got so much built up inside that I have no clue how to get it all out.
This post may sound all over the place but that's how it is in real life. I can't pinpoint any one thing that's wrong or any one way I feel. I guess all in all I feel overwhelmed, sad, and angry at myself for being this way, and I honestly have no idea what to do anymore.