Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: South Sutton, NH
Help With my Essay
So, I really really hate writing argumentative essays. And I am taking College Composition 2 in college right now and that is what the entire freaken class is about. YAY...not. So the first essay we are supposed to write is on any topic and its just a plain argumentative essay where we argue the point on the subject. At first I decided that I wanted to do Mustangs, Should They be Captured or Not? Which I am against, unless they are hurt or for some reason can't make it in the wild. So I couldn't really think of a way to make my point on that because I am too diversified on the subject so I peeled back a layer on it and I think I'm going to do if adopting them out is extinguishing the Mustang breed. So here is my first paragraph.
In the western part of the United States, there is a wild animal. Such beauty and perfection in the wild is almost unheard of, but it does still exist. Hundreds of years and many many challenges these wild beauties have survived. These beauties are known as Mustangs. They are one of the only wild horse breeds left in this whole world. Every year there are hundreds of Mustangs that are ripped from their environment and sold at government auctions. Slowly the Mustang breed is becoming less wild and pure, it is being torn from its roots and sold off piece by piece. How is it right to tear something away and sell it? It's like selling pieces of America itself.
So I posted it at school to get critiques (I got online) and my teacher posted. First she yelled at me because it was supposed to be the whole essay on there, which I clearly stated that I knew it wasn't the whole essay when I posted it. Then she said that there was no thesis statement, which I thought my thesis was, "Slowly the Mustang breed is becoming less wild and pure, it is being torn from its roots and sold off piece by piece." Am I wrong? I'm not very good at thesis statement. But anyways. I have to get this whole thing written by tomorrow with two pages on it and right now I'm horribly stuck with the feedback she left me. She is really awful too, worst teacher I have had so far. I asked her if there was any research needed for it and what the format needed to me, like MLA, and she wrote back and said look at the syllabus, so I did, and there was nothing on there. Other kids posted other questions and that's all she says and there is nothing in there about any of the questions we asked. grrrr. So PLEASE help really stuck and with a teacher that can't help!