Help - quandry over a friendship - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 03:10 PM Thread Starter
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Help - quandry over a friendship

When a long time friend moved in with a fellow, a few people who knew him well advised her to use caution and too keep her place until she was certain. A dear lady in her 80's wrote her a kindly note basically saying what the others had said. This was almost a year ago. Over the ensuing months, the friend, who did move in, has enlarged and twisted the meaning of the note. She told me she even called a lawyer to have a peace bond put on this senior. This lady does not call or bother my friend and I doubt she called a lawyer. Anyway, the two couples happened to attend the same restaurant, each at their own tables. As the friend and bf were leaving he stopped to chat with the senior fellow as they'd worked together. My "friend" decided to lambast the senior lady and her hubby when her bf stopped talking. I am friends with the senior couple whom I cherish as they are good and kindly people. What do I do about the "friend". I am appalled at her actions. Right now if she were to call me I'd tell her.....I don't know what I'd tell her.
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post #2 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 03:23 PM
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I don't think I'd ever offer this person advice!
If she called I would keep the conversation casual and neutral. If she brought up the incident I might comment that the elderly lady was only concerned for her welfare and then drop it. If she insisted on yammering about it I'd find a good reason to get off the phone. Whatever you say is not going to change her opinion anyway.
She really has made herself out to be a bit of a rude and nasty piece of work. I'd not wallow in the mud pit with her.
Sorry this happened. It makes you feel bad...and sad.

If you ever find yourself in a fair fight, it's because your tactics suck. ~ Marine 1SGT J. Reifinger
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post #3 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 03:25 PM
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I would say that anyone who would do such a thing to kind, older people is not worthy of your friendship. If you haven't do so already, I would suggest you tell the older couple just what you told us, how much you cherish them.
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post #4 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 03:34 PM
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I'll add to Aubie's post: and dump this so called friend. People who act like that are not friends nor are they worthy of the name.
boots, DimSum and aubie like this.

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post #5 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 03:36 PM Thread Starter
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Months ago I tried to explain that the note was written with the utmost kindness. How she has been able to twist and turn this about is beyond me, but she has. The senior's know how I value them and their friendship. I'm just not sure if I want to continue with someone who could be that mean and so rude as to do it where others would hear. Ps. I don't phone her, she calls me.
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post #6 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 03:46 PM
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Perhaps more to the point, Saddlebag, what will you say to your friend when you get the inevitable call telling you her relationship with Mr.-be-cautious-till-your-certain went down the tubes and she ended up with the short end of the stick? Perhaps just reread the senior lady's note to her?
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post #7 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 04:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saddlebag View Post
... How she has been able to twist and turn this about is beyond me, but she has.
My take on this? Simple really.

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We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
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post #8 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 04:14 PM Thread Starter
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What is hard to grasp is that since she moved in with this guy she didn't just let her longtime friendships fade, they became the enemy. No one can figure this out but have ceased trying. I'm her last "friend". The phone has been ringing for the second time in 3 min. And I know it's her so haven't picked up.

Last edited by Saddlebag; 09-29-2013 at 04:16 PM.
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post #9 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 04:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saddlebag View Post
What is hard to grasp is that since she moved in with this guy she didn't just let her longtime friendships fade, they became the enemy. No one can figure this out but have ceased trying. I'm her last "friend". The phone has been ringing for the second time in 3 min. And I know it's her so haven't picked up.
Often it's the partner turning them away from family and friends as a way of control.
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post #10 of 12 Old 09-29-2013, 05:00 PM
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What Darrin said.

We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
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