How can I be the BEST Brides Maid/MOH EVER?

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How can I be the BEST Brides Maid/MOH EVER?

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    08-31-2012, 02:30 PM
Smile How can I be the BEST Brides Maid/MOH EVER?

Ok, my Best Best Friend EVER is getting married in April.
I am unofficially her MOH, her sister and 7 year old step daughter that she's raising get the official titles. No skin off my chin! LOL! Sister can do the dirty work!

So I had a VERY low key wedding, actually it was shotgun if you must know. Only 20 close family members in a small chapel in Eureka Springs. I wanted to wear boots and a pretty white crochet duster but my mom dragged me to a dress shop two weeks before and demanded I get one, LOL! We had a bigger reception/party a few weeks later. So I know NOTHING about weddings!

So BF is going all out and I need to know how I can be REALLY helpful, innovative, and keep this whole ordeal as easy for her as possible!
What are some of the sweetest things your friends did for you or that you've heard of? Coolest wedding ideas? Favors?

So far I've committed to buying my own dress (as long as it's in the $200 +/- range), helping her sister (who is pretty lousy), doing all the flower arraignments (My mom and I are BA!), and.... Regulating on crazy mom/family and bad friends. LOL!

Gimmie whatcha got!
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    08-31-2012, 03:12 PM
The main thing I'd suggest is: Do whatever she asks, she'll have enough others balking at everything and making her crazy. Especially when it comes to the bridesmaids dresses and things she asks of them, keep reminding everyone it's HER day and not about them.

Depending how personal she wants to be with them, you might offer to address and mail (she pays for the postage) all the invites

Make sure she's got her present wishes organized and on several different registries, especially if there's a lot of out of town friends and family

Try to help her stay organized and on track

Try to find a day when just the 2 of you can sneak off for a relaxing, bonding day. Maybe a facial? Massage? Trail ride? Night out in another town where she can let her hair down? Or a dinner and movie? Whatever SHE would seriously enjoy and would relax her.

Keep the present book and get names/addresses and what they gave, so she can accurately send Thank you notes.

*If I had to do it all over again, I'd have insisted we went to Vegas and been done with it!*
tinyliny and FlyGap like this.
    09-02-2012, 04:26 PM
Just be there for her. Don't push ideas on her! That was one of the biggest complaints when I replaced the MOH in the last wedding I went to. She was telling the bride that her ideas were "stupid and childish and that she should have a serious wedding" you can bet that didn't last. It ruined their friendship to this day. I stepped in two weeks before the wedding and helped her get everything ready. Even if she wants a giant purple people eater, as long as it's in their budget, let her have it. Chances are if it's truly something so silly she doesn't really want it she'll nix it later.
FlyGap likes this.
    09-03-2012, 12:18 PM
Thanks guys!

For sure won't be pressuring her AT ALL. She'll have/is having enough problems. Poor girl has an insane mother, 5,000 family members, and constant drama from her DF's EX/baby mamma. I am so there for her!

Last week she texted me that she wants the BM's to wear yellow dresses and hold purple flowers... I wanted to suggest purple dresses (I mean come on, yellow?) but I held my tongue and said sure. Who cares if it looks like she's surrounded by a bunch of lemons right! Guess we could all look like a bunch of grapes too, LOL!

The only thing I'm going to struggle with is getting up there to help her, I live an hour and a half away. I'm going to do it NO MATTER WHAT!

Thanks for the tips Dreamcatcher, shopping with her will be fun! I want registry duty! We got shafted on that department, people were mad that we didn't invite them to the wedding so they showed up to the reception, ate the food, drank the booze and didn't bring presents! Nice. Guess that's what you get when you kinda elope.
    09-03-2012, 12:59 PM
It doesn't have to be a bright lemon yellow, a pale pastel shade of yellow could look lovely with purple flowers... like Iris' or something.

Both my sisters got married, so I was a bridesmaid twice. My sisters were each others maids of honor, so I saw all the arrangements and witnessed all the drama. :P Although I must say we were lucky and didn't have much beyond the mother's in law.

As was said before, just be there for her, help her in her decisions without forcing yours on hers. I'm sure she would love suggestions, but only if they are stated in a: I love your idea, do you want to add "..." maybe as well (type of approach).

Contrary to what some people think, it takes a heap load of organizing and time to prepare a wedding. From the sounds of it, your friends seems to have a lot of family... so big wedding? If so, just make sure you organize your time well and finish everything on time... Weddings get very stressful near "the moment", so try to make sure you guys have finished the most important stuff before, as to not add extra stress.

-Book the DJ/music people in advance.
-Order flower arrangements ASAP to make sure they have a good heads up of what is wanted exactly.
- If you bridesmaids go dress shopping together, make sure it's a good couple of months before the wedding, so if you order anything, you have time to receive it and alter it a month before the wedding.

Pretty much, taking care of all those things early helps, because if something goes wrong or it's not in her price range, she can easily find someone else without it being "almost too late".

Now who's taking care of the bridal shower?
    09-03-2012, 01:15 PM
Thanks Hidalgo!
I'm going to try and offer as much help as possible. I have already committed to doing the flower arrangements, my mom and I have done six weddings together and are really good. This is going to save BF hundreds if not thousands. Whatever she wants!
I am going to get with her sister and see what she has planned. I live so far away that I don't know who else she hangs out with, sister knows so she'll be able to contact her other friends for showers and bachelorette party. I'm going to offer to throw one or the other so I know she'll get one that is PERFECT!
BF has pretty high expectations so it's going to be a challenge. She has taken her other friends out of town for their bachellorette parties, I've never attended but two were cruises, a spa weekend, and she took 10 girls to Memphis for a weekend... I'm going to have to be sure she's wowed for hers!

Too funny on the yellow! I'm sure they will be lovely too!
    09-03-2012, 03:08 PM
I would hate to wear yellow. Very few people of caucasian racial make up can wear yellow and carry it off nicely. Dark black people look stunning in yellow, but me and my pink skin would go .blech! Yes pale yellow would be better, but to me, it's not unreasonable to suggest that she reverse the order. It's also much easier to find purple dresses than yellow, I do believe, and yellow flowers abound.
I do not think this would be a friendship wrecker to suggest a rethink on that.

You do want to support your friend, but not making any decisions is leaving them all to her. If you don't give her any imput on that, she has to make them all in a vacuum, which puts a lot of pressure on her , "did I make the right choice?".
I would give gently feedback if you think it would help.

Throwing a bridal shower is the single nicest thing you can do, totally on your own. My aunt did a tiny one for me and to this day I remember how much I appreciated her doing that for me, since my wedding was very small and I did all the work myself.

When your best friend gets down and trouble by the feeling of too much work, too much details, tell her how much fun it's going to be and get her excitted again.

Ever see that movie "Bridesmaids'? It's SO, SO funny.
Hidalgo13 and FlyGap like this.
    09-03-2012, 03:12 PM
Sorry I have nothing really to add to this as I have never been maid of honor, and the other advice seems spot on.

But I have to say, I got married in Eureka springs AR (im assuming you meant ES, AR.) in front of about 10 people. That place is amazing. You can get a quality wedding & honeymoon, while not doing alot of foot work, for a very decent price!
    09-03-2012, 05:13 PM
Peppersgirl, yep! DH and I love that place. When we were just friends we went to a Willie Nelson concert there. We were driving through DT and saw the $40 wedding sign. Laughed and laughed that we would seriously freak our family and friends if we did it! 6 months later and "in love" LOL, we got married using the Basin Park package. It was lovely! They even provided the cake!

Tiny, I am soooo with you on the yellow. I have a weird complexion and I NEVER wear yellow! Plus this is going down in the spring and we will have to tan for it, I'm scared to death of tanning beds. Lavender would be so much lovelier and "I think" she will stand out better wearing white with us in darker dresses. But, not going there. Maybe she'll rethink when we try some on.... Or maybe she wants us to look bad, LOL!
    09-03-2012, 06:43 PM
Tiny, I am soooo with you on the yellow. I have a weird complexion and I NEVER wear yellow! Plus this is going down in the spring and we will have to tan for it, I'm scared to death of tanning beds. Lavender would be so much lovelier and "I think" she will stand out better wearing white with us in darker dresses. But, not going there. Maybe she'll rethink when we try some on....
Haha true... I look awful in yellow as well! And it's much easier to find a nice lavender dress than nice yellow dress. As Tiny said, it wouldn't be unreasonable for you to propose the opposite. Before going dress shopping, tell your friend that maybe you guys can try lavender dresses if you see the yellow isn't working. Then, most definitely add how it would make her pop out more nicely in the pictures as well.

Ahhh, dress shopping is so much fun! I went twice with my sisters for their dress, and twice for myself as a bridesmaids. It was soo much fun going through all those beautiful gowns! Mind you, it's great if there is no drama. We had it easy though, because for my middle sister, she wanted a Moka/chocolate brown (fall wedding), and as we were all brunettes it looked really nice on us.

For my other sister, it was a spring wedding, so pink for us all! We got lucky with the shapes too. We all had identical gowns at both weddings, and despite all being different heights, sizes and weights, we all looked great...

Sniff... I miss weddings. They're so much fun.
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