How do you deal with your non-horsey boyfriend??? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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How do you deal with your non-horsey boyfriend???

The title pretty much says it.

Im having a few issues right now with my boyfriend just not getting what it takes for me to be a horse owner. Has any one ever come across any issues with your boyfriend not understanding and how did you deal with it?
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post #2 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:15 PM
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My daughter sent hers packing ... of course she is only 14 and could really care less about boys at this point. She is much more fond of her horse. Did say the next one will be a horse guy... though she has her eyes set on a bull rider in her class :)
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post #3 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:20 PM
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I think just about everyone who is into anything has had this problem.

Relationships are all about compromising. If he is not willing to even try to understand the commitment then he might not be the right guy for you. If he is willing to be understanding then you have to be willing to give a little too.
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post #4 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:21 PM Thread Starter
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lol I wish it was as easy as just sending him packin' haha. We own a house together and 2 dogs and I have alot invested into it.

He just doesnt get how much time/energy that is needed and gives me **** for going to a horse show on the weekend that he is home. He works out of town and is gone for 3 weeks at a time. I dont get how im supposed to put my life on hold for the weekend that he comes home. Just isnt going to happen...
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post #5 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind View Post
I think just about everyone who is into anything has had this problem.

Relationships are all about compromising. If he is not willing to even try to understand the commitment then he might not be the right guy for you. If he is willing to be understanding then you have to be willing to give a little too.
Yes yes yes. Give and take.
If there is something he is passionate about, make sure you are being understanding so you receive the same understanding in return.

But just be honest and discuss what your commitment is as a horse owner and where you can sacrifice a little for him [if you are willing to].
If he can't accept it and compromise with you, there is another guy out there who will.
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post #6 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:27 PM
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He might not ever understand, but as long as he tolerates you loving horses then that should be fine. If neither of you can't deal with it, I'd go separate ways as it might be wasting both of y'alls time to be together, as hurtful as that may sound.


My BF likes my horses, but he doesn't like to ride them. He will come with me to my 12 hour long horse shows, hold my horses, carry my saddles, and he will even volunteer to go out of his way to come feed my horses morning and evening when I'm away and not able to even when I can get my uncle to do it who lives just down the road. We've been together for almost two years and he's only ridden with me twice. Since he volunteers to do a lot for my horses and me and tolerates my horse addiction, I leave him alone about riding.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
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post #7 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:28 PM
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Nicole, if you know when he's going to be home, why do you have to go to a show that weekend?

Sounds like you want him to do all the compromising and understanding, and just deal with whatever you want to do.

In order for a relationship to work, both parties need to compromise, not just one. I don't see why you couldn't stay home with him one weekend out of the many you have alone to do whatever you want.

Sorry, but I'm leaning more toward sympathy with your BF than you. I'd be miffed as heck too if I only had one weekend every 3 weeks to see my SO and he told me, "Too bad, so sad, I have something else planned."

If the shoe were on the other foot and you were feeling neglected, the women here would be screaming for his blood. So not fair, and I hate double standards.

Last edited by Speed Racer; 12-15-2010 at 12:31 PM.
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post #8 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleS11 View Post
lol I wish it was as easy as just sending him packin' haha. We own a house together and 2 dogs and I have alot invested into it.

He just doesnt get how much time/energy that is needed and gives me **** for going to a horse show on the weekend that he is home. He works out of town and is gone for 3 weeks at a time. I dont get how im supposed to put my life on hold for the weekend that he comes home. Just isnt going to happen...
Wow!
Honestly, If I was dating you I would wonder how committed you were to me if that is your attitude when I only get to see you one weekend a month.

I can see not missing a horse show if you have been working towards it all along. But seriously. You can plan your life around these times so you are available when he is home.

If the attitude you showed in that post is what you give him I can understand his frustration with the horse. It is either resent you or the horse. He is trying to not resent you so his frustrations are being taken out on the horse.
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post #9 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:31 PM
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I was talking to my boyfriend last night about how I'm going to be moving my mare closer to home. His response? Word for word: "You don't need it. You can't afford it. I'll just go out there tomorrow and shoot it. Problem solved." He refuses to refer to her as anything but "it". And just legitimately doesn't give a dang about anything that has anything to do with horses. It's really irritating. And yet, I help him work on his car like, every weekend.

Men are useless.

One man's wrong lead is another man's counter canter.
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Last edited by ShannonSevenfold; 12-15-2010 at 12:33 PM.
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post #10 of 26 Old 12-15-2010, 12:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
In order for a relationship to work, both parties need to compromise, not just one. I don't see why you couldn't stay home with him one weekend out of the many you have alone to do whatever you want.

What SR said!

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
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