How do you deal with your non-horsey boyfriend??? - Page 2
 
 

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How do you deal with your non-horsey boyfriend???

This is a discussion on How do you deal with your non-horsey boyfriend??? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
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        12-15-2010, 11:40 AM
      #11
    Yearling
    Alright, let me explain the situation a little better so you guys don’t think this is allll my fault. I thought I would spare every one the gory details but obviously I need to fill you all in so I don’t seem like the wicked witch of the west.

    My boyfriend works out of town for 3 weeks out of the month. He literally has said to me word for word, “you made a commitment to me and that house and our dogs, you are not allowed to go to shows on the weekend. You need to spend time with your dogs.” He does not like me having a life that does not involve him. For the last year I have done what he has told me to do. I tried to keep busy around the house with doing chores and different things but its just not cutting it any more. I refuse to sit at home and be miserable because im told to be!

    On any other occasion if he came home I would defiantly put off my plans to see him. This weekend is a different situation because im sick and tired of being his puppet.

    I moved to Alberta to do the horse thing and now that I finally am, he has a problem with it! I don’t think so!

    He is no angel…so yes I sounded a bit brutal in my original post but im sick of being the nice girl.
         
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        12-15-2010, 11:43 AM
      #12
    Banned
    No one said he was an angel. But relationships do not work when you stomp your feet and storm away.

    Have you tried communication?

    No one here can make your life something it is not. You picked him. You picked the situation.

    You are the one that let him believe you would drop everything, etc. You should have communicated then.


    Personally I do not disagree with him though. He is gone most of the time. When he is home it seems like it makes sense that you are there too, most of the time.

    Are the dogs not home with you when he is away?
         
        12-15-2010, 11:45 AM
      #13
    Started
    Would he go to a show if you invited him to come watch you? Or maybe you could just do a class or two and then leave to spend the rest of the day with him?
         
        12-15-2010, 11:46 AM
      #14
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind    
    No one said he was an angel. But relationships do not work when you stomp your feet and storm away.

    Have you tried communication?

    No one here can make your life something it is not. You picked him. You picked the situation.
    Im not stomping my feet and storming away. Im sticking up for myself for the first time in a long time.

    I have tried to get him to see the light on the horse thing. I've invited him to come watch me ride. He wants nothing to do with it. "Horses stink" I even invited him to come this weekend and watch the show but he said it will be to cold and he doenst want to go. What else can I do??
         
        12-15-2010, 11:48 AM
      #15
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by NicoleS11    
    Im not stomping my feet and storming away. Im sticking up for myself for the first time in a long time.

    I have tried to get him to see the light on the horse thing. I've invited him to come watch me ride. He wants nothing to do with it. "Horses stink" I even invited him to come this weekend and watch the show but he said it will be to cold and he doenst want to go. What else can I do??
    Could you just do a class or two and then leave to spend the rest of the day with him?
         
        12-15-2010, 11:50 AM
      #16
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by NicoleS11    
    Im not stomping my feet and storming away. Im sticking up for myself for the first time in a long time.

    I have tried to get him to see the light on the horse thing. I've invited him to come watch me ride. He wants nothing to do with it. "Horses stink" I even invited him to come this weekend and watch the show but he said it will be to cold and he doenst want to go. What else can I do??
    I personally think you should have done some things long ago.

    Why did you buy a house with a man who you feel forces you to do things you do not agree with?
         
        12-15-2010, 11:51 AM
      #17
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by barrelracer892    
    Could you just do a class or two and then leave to spend the rest of the day with him?
    Horses have to be on the grounds by 10AM and my class isnt till the end of the day. Plus I tack up and warm up horses for my trainer during the day so im usually busy the entire day.

    Its in a heated indoor arena with a sitting area. His excuse of it being to cold is bull. He just doesnt want to go.
         
        12-15-2010, 11:52 AM
      #18
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind    
    I personally think you should have done some things long ago.

    Why did you buy a house with a man who you feel forces you to do things you do not agree with?
    We were fine till I bought my horse and started riding again 2 months ago. When we bought the house things were fine.
         
        12-15-2010, 11:53 AM
      #19
    Showing
    I never assumed he was an angel. After all, he's just a man. Like women, they have their irritations and unreasonable demands.

    Sorry dear, but you're the one who rolled over and pretended to be a doormat, so why are you so surprised now that he expects you to continue to do so?

    As I said, you can stay home with him on the weekends he's there, and do as you darn well please the other 3.

    If you feel trapped, miserable, want to do what you want to do, and he's making you crazy, why the heck are you still in the relationship? It sounds toxic.

    Houses can be sold, and dogs can be given away or surrendered to the pound. If you want out badly enough, you can always find a way. If he's a controlling jerk nothing would convince me to stay, including money, material possessions, or a cushy lifestyle.
         
        12-15-2010, 11:59 AM
      #20
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by NicoleS11    
    Horses have to be on the grounds by 10AM and my class isnt till the end of the day. Plus I tack up and warm up horses for my trainer during the day so im usually busy the entire day.

    Its in a heated indoor arena with a sitting area. His excuse of it being to cold is bull. He just doesnt want to go.
    But you do not have to do all that. You can have your horse taken there and someone else can warm up horses all day for your trainer.

    It is not bull. Have you ever sat through a very boring outdoor event that you had no interest in? And no matter how heated the ring is, it is still cold in the winter.

    You changed the rules two months ago and you want him to just say 'oh fine, sorry'?
         

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