How do you handle Stress, Depression, Anxiety and Apathy?
 
 

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How do you handle Stress, Depression, Anxiety and Apathy?

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  • What happens when you don't handle stress well

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    11-13-2013, 05:38 PM
  #1
Yearling
How do you handle Stress, Depression, Anxiety and Apathy?

I know, I know...medication and therapy.

But, I've done those things.

Let me put this before the forum then:

  • How do you pull yourself from depression that has lasted for years?
  • How do you find something you enjoy and do it, when you enjoy pretty much nothing down to the taste of food?
  • How do you avoid the depressing situation when it's literally unavoidable, and will be for the next several years?
  • How do you "calm down" and "not worry so much" when there's nothing BUT the worry?
  • How do you live in a world that values the appearance instead of the reality? Deception versus truth? Lies versus integrity?
  • And if there is a greater being, or even KARMA, why do so many bad things happen to good people? Do evil, hateful people ever get a comeuppance for the evil they inflict upon others?
  • Lastly, and slightly separate, how do the most hateful of individuals, those who spew the most intolerant vitriol....appear to the world as "righteous"?


How do you guys deal with the garbage in life when it just keeps coming?
     
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    11-13-2013, 06:35 PM
  #2
Weanling
Just random thoughts but here goes. Professional help aside here are some things. First accept that most people who don't suffer with this will most likely not understand or care. Most people have no empathy for something that does not effect them. Skinny people will just say that fat people should just eat less, etc. Also accept that you can't change what happens to others. Yes good things happen to bad people, and bad things to good people. It is unfair and at times seems disproportionate. You asked how you live in a world that does not value good things. You do, and surround yourself with people who do. If it's just a few, so be it. There seems to be a huge situation that is troubling you, but don't really know enough to speak to that.
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    11-13-2013, 06:43 PM
  #3
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by aubie    
Just random thoughts but here goes. Professional help aside here are some things. First accept that most people who don't suffer with this will most likely not understand or care. Most people have no empathy for something that does not effect them. Skinny people will just say that fat people should just eat less, etc. Also accept that you can't change what happens to others. Yes good things happen to bad people, and bad things to good people. It is unfair and at times seems disproportionate.

You asked how you live in a world that does not value good things. You do, and surround yourself with people who do. If it's just a few, so be it. There seems to be a huge situation that is troubling you, but don't really know enough to speak to that.
i agree with what you're saying that most people who don't suffer through SOMETHING have no empathy. They don't. It's disgusting.

For example, there was a little muslim girl testifying about the drone that killed her grandma and injured a bunch of the other kids in a garden while they were picking Okra or something. A lot of the comments read something along the lines of "Oh well, what did we deserve 9/11 for?".

What kind of hope is there in this world when we can't care that a little girl picking veggies watches her grandma get blown away?

Second...how do you surround yourself with people who care? How can they care when they can't *understand*?

It's one thing when you're a teen and emo about your weight or some person that you like that doesn't return your affection...most of us have been there. But when it's something bigger, something that doesn't go away, it seems like everyone just tries to look the other way!
     
    11-13-2013, 07:15 PM
  #4
Weanling
Some people can and will care even though they may not have full knowledge of what its like. My point was don't worry about negative people. The hard part is with your condition its difficult, I get that.
     
    11-13-2013, 07:20 PM
  #5
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by aubie    
Some people can and will care even though they may not have full knowledge of what its like. My point was don't worry about negative people. The hard part is with your condition its difficult, I get that.
I get what you're saying, and I guess we just have to be lucky enough to find those people.

I do know that I CANNOT be the only person in the world that feels this way...I am thinking that if some of the questions I asked can be answered in a few different ways...then maybe others can be helped as well.

And thank you for your response.
     
    11-13-2013, 07:21 PM
  #6
Trained
Tomorrow is always another day, and we are on this earth for such a short time, enjoy it while you can. Don't worry about things you can't change and change things you don't like. Exercise hard, eat healthy and live life to fullest has always been my motto and it has served me well for 53 years, no meds, no therapy, however I can't speak for people who have medical disorders that inhibit their enjoyment of life but my motto certainly couldn't hurt them either.
     
    11-13-2013, 10:25 PM
  #7
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
How do you pull yourself from depression that has lasted for years?
Depends on what's causing the depression. If it's genuinely a medical thing (ie "in your head") and not based on anything other than chems in your body, then meds/therapy is the way to go. If it's caused by your situation, then you have to change your situation. If you can't change your situation, change what you can and leave the rest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
How do you find something you enjoy and do it, when you enjoy pretty much nothing down to the taste of food?
There's usually something someone enjoys, no matter how badly they feel. There's usually a teeny sliver of something. For some people, it's just harder to find it. For a horse person, maybe it's riding related, or training related, or just going for a walk in the woods with your horse in hand. If you're down enough, you won't get that big surge of happiness, but you might instead feel a little less 'blah' or maybe a hint of 'meh'. Anything over "this sucks" is a good thing and grab it when you can get it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
How do you avoid the depressing situation when it's literally unavoidable, and will be for the next several years?
You change what you can of it, and just accept the rest. I don't know what the situation is you have in mind, so I cannot be more specific. If you can't change anything, then you prepare yourself for when it does in the indirect ways you can. For example, if you knew you couldn't own a horse for several years, then you might want to do the best you can to become an educated horsewoman, a better rider, etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
How do you "calm down" and "not worry so much" when there's nothing BUT the worry?
Again I don't know your specifics, so I'm going to be general and vague. You find what you CAN have an effect on, and deal with that. Whatever you cannot alter or affect, you shrug and stop worrying about it. Simply because worrying does nothing to help the situation, and accepting that is how you deal with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
How do you live in a world that values the appearance instead of the reality? Deception versus truth? Lies versus integrity?
You mean this world? One day at a time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
And if there is a greater being, or even KARMA, why do so many bad things happen to good people? Do evil, hateful people ever get a comeuppance for the evil they inflict upon others?
I don't believe in "karma" or a "greater being". Things happen. Sometimes they're "good" things and sometimes they're "bad" things. Sometimes they happen to people who don't deserve it, sometimes they do. Life is not fair. There is not a system of checks and balances. If you wait long enough, something bad will happen to a good person, and something good will happen to a bad person, and vice versa.

You cannot sit and seethe, waiting for some invisible force to come take pity on you and exact revenge. How does that make you a better person to be wishing ill on someone anyway? How does it make your life better to cling to the hate?

You can point to something bad that happens to a bad person and go "HAH That was because you're BAD", but was it really? Or was it just because that's how things played out?

If you can't control it or affect it, you let it go.

And mind you, I am a firm believer in an eye for an eye and an ear too for the inconvenience.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
Lastly, and slightly separate, how do the most hateful of individuals, those who spew the most intolerant vitriol....appear to the world as "righteous"?
Righteousness, good and evil are all subjective. Those people ARE righteous, in their own circle. But what's good to you, or me isn't necessarily good to someone else. Good and evil are labels we assign to things in order to have civilized society.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
How do you guys deal with the garbage in life when it just keeps coming?
One pile at a time.
Wallaby, amp23, dbarabians and 1 others like this.
     
    11-13-2013, 11:01 PM
  #8
Weanling
Very nice Dancing wish I knew how to do the little blocks. Solid responses.
     
    11-13-2013, 11:06 PM
  #9
Weanling
Interesting set of questions. I've often pondered the same things to myself. Here is what I've come up with, as they apply to me. When I write "you", I really mean "me", etc.

(Answers are not one-size-fits-all. Individual results may vary.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
  • How do you pull yourself from depression that has lasted for years?
Get over yourself. Realize that life is a gift with infinite potential. You don't have to be here, and if you really didn't wanna be, you wouldn't. You have never been here before. You will never be here again. Make the most of it, even if it feels like a lot of work at first. Once you get going, you will like that work. The most important thing is to begin.


Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
  • How do you find something you enjoy and do it, when you enjoy pretty much nothing down to the taste of food?
Keep trying new things. Try some more. When you find something you enjoy, do it a lot.


Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
  • How do you avoid the depressing situation when it's literally unavoidable, and will be for the next several years?
The only thing you can control in life is yourself. Your attitude, your actions and your responses to situations are the things that will protect you when times get hard. Realize that you cannot control other people, nor everything that happens to you. You must love yourself and be your own best friend. Sometimes you need to be your own parent. This takes lots of practice. It is ok to ask for help.


Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
  • How do you "calm down" and "not worry so much" when there's nothing BUT the worry?
Remember that there are equal proportions of beauty and evil in the world. Pick which one you'd like to focus on. Cultivate it. In those moments of inconsolable angst, try to laugh at yourself. Ask yourself, does your worry help improve the situation? If not, then why worry?


Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
  • How do you live in a world that values the appearance instead of the reality? Deception versus truth? Lies versus integrity?
Don't take anything personally. Form your own set of values and live by them. Realize that not everyone values appearance instead of integrity, but that those people are few and far between. Seek them out anyway.


Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
  • And if there is a greater being, or even KARMA, why do so many bad things happen to good people? Do evil, hateful people ever get a comeuppance for the evil they inflict upon others?
1. The claim of the existence of a greater being or Karma never included the stipulation that bad things wouldn't happen to good people. Bad things happen to everyone.

2. Sometimes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    
  • Lastly, and slightly separate, how do the most hateful of individuals, those who spew the most intolerant vitriol....appear to the world as "righteous"?
People are easily deceived and get caught up in things. No one is exempt from these flaws.
Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    

How do you guys deal with the garbage in life when it just keeps coming?

I stop, and I take a breath, and I laugh. I try to stay positive, because really, I have a lot more to be thankful for than many people.

No matter how dire the situation, I ALWAYS feel better after a nap.
amp23 likes this.
     
    11-13-2013, 11:55 PM
  #10
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaphyJaphy    

Get over yourself. Realize that life is a gift with infinite potential. You don't have to be here, and if you really didn't wanna be, you wouldn't. You have never been here before. You will never be here again. Make the most of it, even if it feels like a lot of work at first. Once you get going, you will like that work. The most important thing is to begin.

Have you ever dealt with something like major depressive disorder? I mean like an actual illness, not being in a bad mood once in a while. Because what I just quoted is probably the worst thing you could possibly say to someone who has. The amount of guilt you already feel about everything you have ever done wrong, regardless of how much you can control it, is crushing and to have someone tell you to just "get over themselves" causes even more guilt because you just CAN'T. It makes you feel like something is even more wrong with you because everyone else is just so happy and you're not and you can't physically just turn on a light bulb. Telling a person that is struggling with legitimate depression to just "get over it" is like telling a diabetic that their pancreas should really get its sh!t together. It is a chronic and, frankly, life-threatening disorder and the way mental health issues have such a taboo on them in the US is sickening.

Particularly if you've reached the apathy stage. This is a horse forum, so I will use them as an example: We all love them, but it's awful when you are so apathetic that you just think, "Why bother going to do anything with them? I could just sell them and save myself a lot of money, really.."
dbarabians and Corazon Lock like this.
     

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