How do you handle Stress, Depression, Anxiety and Apathy? - Page 2
 
 

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How do you handle Stress, Depression, Anxiety and Apathy?

This is a discussion on How do you handle Stress, Depression, Anxiety and Apathy? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category
  • How to fix anxiety, depression and apathy

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    11-14-2013, 12:14 AM
  #11
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by aubie    
Very nice Dancing wish I knew how to do the little blocks. Solid responses.
When you hit "quote" you'll see the text box with someone's text and then a QUOTE= part in the front and a /QUOTE at the end. At the front of every new block you want the QUOTE= bit of text, brackets included and at the end to make the box, you close it out with the /QUOTE with the brackets.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poseidon    
Have you ever dealt with something like major depressive disorder? I mean like an actual illness, not being in a bad mood once in a while. Because what I just quoted is probably the worst thing you could possibly say to someone who has. The amount of guilt you already feel about everything you have ever done wrong, regardless of how much you can control it, is crushing and to have someone tell you to just "get over themselves" causes even more guilt because you just CAN'T. It makes you feel like something is even more wrong with you because everyone else is just so happy and you're not and you can't physically just turn on a light bulb. Telling a person that is struggling with legitimate depression to just "get over it" is like telling a diabetic that their pancreas should really get its sh!t together. It is a chronic and, frankly, life-threatening disorder and the way mental health issues have such a taboo on them in the US is sickening.

Particularly if you've reached the apathy stage. This is a horse forum, so I will use them as an example: We all love them, but it's awful when you are so apathetic that you just think, "Why bother going to do anything with them? I could just sell them and save myself a lot of money, really.."
+1
Depression can be outright crippling.
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    11-14-2013, 12:25 AM
  #12
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poseidon    
Have you ever dealt with something like major depressive disorder? I mean like an actual illness, not being in a bad mood once in a while. Because what I just quoted is probably the worst thing you could possibly say to someone who has. The amount of guilt you already feel about everything you have ever done wrong, regardless of how much you can control it, is crushing and to have someone tell you to just "get over themselves" causes even more guilt because you just CAN'T. It makes you feel like something is even more wrong with you because everyone else is just so happy and you're not and you can't physically just turn on a light bulb.

Particularly if you've reached the apathy stage. This is a horse forum, so I will use them as an example: We all love them, but it's awful when you are so apathetic that you just think, "Why bother going to do anything with them? I could just sell them and save myself a lot of money, really.."
I wondered if there might be some comment on this. I didn't explain my answer to that question very well, but it was too late to edit by the time I had time to correct the post.

Yes I have dealt with major depression, as a result of another major illness. As a stated at the top of that post, this is the answer to that question that I came up with for myself.

I can see where you're coming from on this, so I'll try to explain a little bit:

The title of the thread asks us how we as individuals handle stress, depression etc. The OP does not ask us for our advice as to what they should do about their own issues. I answered the questions with that in mind.

When I say "get over yourself", I am not stating that I think anyone's particular feelings or issues lack validity. I am not minimizing the issue and I am not ignoring it. Using "get over yourself" as my personal motto (as it later became) became an empowerment tool that I used to take control of my depression, stress and anxiety because it reminded me on a continual basis that I DO have the choice to make change and that only I can make that change. No one else was going to do it for me. Not that it wasn't hard as heck to make those changes. I literally had to get over myself. I had to acknowledge the fact that no one was going to make me better, especially if I chose not to pursue medication or prefessional help. For me, it was the realization that I'm a part of a bigger picture. That's where "get over yourself" comes from.

So, to address your statement about saying "get over yourself" to someone suffering from depression: Would I ever do that? Heck no. In my opinion, when it comes to depression, those words aren't for anyone to say to you but you. I was simply stating what helped me.
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    11-14-2013, 12:31 AM
  #13
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poseidon    
The amount of guilt you already feel about everything you have ever done wrong, regardless of how much you can control it, is crushing and to have someone tell you to just "get over themselves" causes even more guilt because you just CAN'T.

Particularly if you've reached the apathy stage. This is a horse forum, so I will use them as an example: We all love them, but it's awful when you are so apathetic that you just think, "Why bother going to do anything with them? I could just sell them and save myself a lot of money, really.."
There is literally no way, I personally at least, can "get over myself". There is no near end to my situation. There is no freedom.

And...I don't feel much of anything anymore. I don't even enjoy eating. The bad part is, I'm six months pregnant, and by the time I get to food, it tastes like nothingness. I haven't gained any weight yet.

I've actually thought about getting rid of the horses. I don't spend time with them anymore. I know I need to, or should, I just don't have the energy. It's not like they honestly care whether or not I spend time with them. As an example, anyway.

I still sometimes enjoy my cats, and I believe I continue to exist because of my kids. That pretty much sums up existence right now.... I know it is not right....that's why I started the thread...

I can't be the only one that feels this way. And I'm interested in seeing how others have pulled themselves out, and how they cope. Even if I personally can't agree, or see how a particular option would work, it may work for SOMEBODY!
     
    11-14-2013, 12:34 AM
  #14
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by demonwolfmoon    

I can't be the only one that feels this way. And I'm interested in seeing how others have pulled themselves out, and how they cope.
This is what my responses to your questions are based on.

I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. When I was going through major depressive episodes, I did not have the added responsibility of pregnancy and children. I am glad however, that you can find enjoyment in your cats. I see that as a good sign.

ETA: This might sound rediculous, but have you tried committing to any sort of regular activity like an art or yoga class, or even just trying to make time for yourself everyday? I don't know the details of your situation, but another thing that just came to mind about my experiences is that I often overlooked simple aspects of self-care. I found establishing personal rituals to be helpful, even though at the beginning I had zero motivation.
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    11-14-2013, 12:37 AM
  #15
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaphyJaphy    
This is what my responses to your questions are based on.

I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. When I was going through major depressive episodes, I did not have the added responsibility of pregnancy and children. I am glad however, that you can find enjoyment in your cats. I see that as a good sign.
I appreciate your response.

And cats don't really give you the option of not enjoying their company. They can and will force themselves on you, lol. My fat boy will follow me to the bathroom, unroll the toilet paper and start eating it if I ignore him, or neglect the food dish....
     
    11-14-2013, 02:57 AM
  #16
Yearling
Please seek assistance from a professional for your sake, your children and for the baby that you're carrying.

Focus on the good. I think you're a lucky person because you have children. My only child was stillborn at 7 months. Yes, I was depressed because of it. Yes, I inwardly ranted and raved every time I saw someone with a child who I didn't think cared enough about that child.

I didn't seek help because I didn't have anyone else depending on me. I came out of it by placing one foot in front of the other whether I wanted to or not. I ate because it was meal time not because I was hungry. I basically just forced myself to keep on living. Eventually, it became easier but life has never been the same since.

It changed me in some ways for the better, some for the worse.

I no longer worry about much of anything. If things go wrong I'll deal with them then but no amount of worrying is going to change things.

I know since I survived the death of a child, I'm pretty durn strong.

I finally figured out it doesn't matter how unfair some things are, that's just life.

I do not find the joy in a lot of the things I used to.

I not as optimistic as I used to be.

Those are just some examples of the good & bad.

Now days when I get start into a funk I remind myself how much better I have it than so many other people.
     
    11-14-2013, 06:47 AM
  #17
Green Broke
I went through a very bleak period. I didn't know if I would survive, but I saw friends/neighbors that were worse off than me. I soaked up their strength & carried on. After many months, things DID turn around. I am glad now that I am still here. Pregnancy unleashes a torrent of hormones that affect us in different ways-so, like others have said, one day at a time-keep putting one foot in front of the other, & try not to dwell on all of the negatives. I am very familiar w/Nuevo, & understand how looking out at the bleak landscape can be depressing also. Can you fix up your interior space to be uplifting? Even just a small corner that can be an escape for you? Reaching out for help is a positive-please keep posting-many of us want to help.
     
    11-14-2013, 10:38 AM
  #18
Showing
When I had to make life altering decisions that involved others, the questions came flooding into mind and altho I'd find solutions, there'd be more questions. One evening I headed out for a walk about 7pm, my head reeling with hypothetical scenarios. Because I was so engrossed in my thoughts (some were really stupid) I lost track of time and distance but began to feel a little tired. It was almost midnight and I was a very long way from home. Time to head back. What I began to notice as I got closer to home was the clarity of my thinking. By the time I was in the door I knew exactly what had to be done and how to execute it. That heavy burden was lifted. I executed my plans and have never had any regrets. Longs walks are of great benefit, something a lot of people stopped doing once they had wheels under their bums. Ever notice how agitated drivers can get, while the walkers smile and nod to others on the street?
     
    11-14-2013, 11:14 AM
  #19
Trained
Demon you cannot relieve the depression by yourself.
I suggest individual and group therapy. Also anti depressants or anti anxiety medications. There are newer more effective drugs on the market now. You may need to change medications to find one that suits you.
Your illness developed over the years it will take years to find peace of mind.
There is hope but you must participate fully in your treatment .

Find a mental health professional and develop a treatment plan with them.
This is essential to your recovery.
Think long term and if something does not work change your treatment plan.
You are not alone. 40% of the population will be treated for mental illness in their lifetime.
In the meantime get some exercise every day.
There is no quick fix. Good luck
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    11-14-2013, 11:20 AM
  #20
Super Moderator
Depression is a terrible thing, it can be crippling and help is there if you can get it.

Fortunately it is not something that I have ever suffered. Yes, there have been down times when all seems to be against anything I do but, I have never been so low as to not be able to do anything about it.

I did work with one girl who was severely depressed to the point that she was suicidal. To get her to do anything fun was impossible but I never gave up and would drag her out for an evening. Just for a few moments you could see the real person, one who could laugh and relax.
No matter what sort of mood she was in, I would not allow her to hide in herself. I made her laugh, I made her do ridiculous things when we were exercising the horses. I also stood up against her long term boyfriend who was not a very nice person and certainly was making her worse.

Annalise your situation. Is it something that you really cannot change or, something that you cannot be bothered to change for one reason or another?

You need not just medical help but help from someone who will see the funny side of situations, no matter how bad things are there is rarely nothing to laugh at.

My Mother was one who always said, "laugh in the face of adversity and it runs away."
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