I can completely empathize with you. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since high school, and I'm halfway through college now. I thought I was out of the woods. For a full year, I was doing great. Finally having less anxiety. Not feeling so depressed. Always happy, always smiling. When I moved to college and was experiencing roommate situations, I just crashed. I came home for a weekend to clear my head and was basically unable to go back to the apartment. My head went off the rails, I tried to cut myself, I considered drinking Windex...it was the scariest thing ever considering that I hadn't been that suicidal since the 10th grade. Since that relapse, I haven't been able to find my way back. I moved home but continued school and am to the point where I am stable right now - as long as there are no major stressors.
How do I manage my depression/anxiety?
-I've been to three different therapists in the last 6 years. The one I'm with now is really great and has helped me immensely. I quit therapy when I left for school but had to go back. It is the hardest thing to do to fess up to your therapist that you're off the rails, but if you don't get help, it is likely that you won't get any better unless you're one that is able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, which I am not.
-I've been on numerous medications. Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa, Wellbutrin...I was also prescribed BusBar and Prozac but did not take those at that time. Best thing to do with medications is to not stop them even when you're feeling better!
-I use the cognitive-behavioral therapy I was taught. This is mostly for anxiety.
-Start doing something routinely that is soothing to you. Maybe a bath, lighting a candle, whatever...just don't do it when you're anxious. Eventually, your brain will perceive this as the norm, and then you can start using it for stress or anxiety, which will be soothing to the brain.
-If you're panicking, take some deep, slow breaths. Close your eyes, put your feet on the floor, and imagine that roots are growing into your feet, putting fuel into your body so you can function. When you're done, also make a point of knowing that you can bring those roots up anytime.
-If all else fails, tell yourself that you're safe because you are. Never tell yourself that you're okay when you're panicking because your brain knows that's a lie.
-When you're anxious, do not make judgmental or emotional statements to yourself. Emotions feed on each other and grow. Instead, focus on truths. I'm uncomfortable, the couch is brown, the ceiling is white...focus on the things that are true and absolute.
My apathy: I can't really tell you what works here because when I'm depressed I'm extremely apathetic and do not care about things. Nothing really makes me excited, not even my horses, but I try to do things that I liked when I wasn't depressed. If there's something that you feel very comfortable doing or even maybe happy, do it. Just try to get things done. I would actually like to know what I can do to feel motivation. I don't have any motivation at all, especially not when I'm depressed. I'm failing two college classes right now because for the first part of the semester I did not care and did not even bother showing up to the one. I procrastinate on things terribly and all I want to do is watch television, get on the Internet, read, or sleep. I wish I could tell you the magic potion to get over this, but I don't even know how to begin myself.
For the world: Do your part. You see something you think isn't fair? Point it out. Don't be rude or mean, but do it tactfully. You might say something that will change someone's mind. Also, follow the rules to what you think is ideal. Be a role model. It's all you can do. Let the world go because you can't change it. But you can change people's lives, and live for that goal to help people be better to themselves and others.
For your situation: Maybe try a different path. Confront it, look at your opinions, and choose one that fits you. Don't dwell on the past because we can't change that. All we can do is learn from it. Look to the future, you're having a baby soon, and your life is going to change! Focus on the happiness of that and try to move past the situation that brings you down.
Hope this was helpful!