How do you overcome your own prejudices? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 50 Old 10-22-2013, 10:01 AM
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First impressions do count as that is often the basis of our feelings toward a person. Usually we are right, the summation of past experiences. I don't like a talkative man. If he's spending a lot of time talking, he's not getting anything done.
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post #22 of 50 Old 10-22-2013, 01:44 PM
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It's human nature to put someone into a file of judgement in our heads based on first impression. It's our own personalitys who let us get over those first impressions. The main thing is what you already know, it's a dumb thought and holds no real revelance.

I have many. But getting to know someone allows you to get past that. Someone you may have pegged as a snob, you realize their as down to earth as you. And it goes on. Granted in the horse world sometimes you just have to let things go and get on with life, I won't ride with some people either or discuss horses for that matter.
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post #23 of 50 Old 10-22-2013, 02:01 PM
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As others have said: it's about how you treat people. You can't always quash the feelings you have towards someone (good or bad) but you can choose to not let it color how you act towards them. For example, there are a lot of religious people who believe being gay is wrong, yet there are those who persecute gay people and there are those who treat them the same as they would anyone else.

Instead of focusing on how to get rid of your prejudice, try focusing only on how you treat other people. You may find that eventually these prejudices go away when you stop thinking about them.
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post #24 of 50 Old 10-22-2013, 02:06 PM
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I am certainly prejudice. Mine has to do with my line of work, and the money I make. That said, I still treat everyone the same and (like many have said already) I think that's what's important.

I am super curious as to what your prejudice is...

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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post #25 of 50 Old 10-22-2013, 02:54 PM
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How wonderful of you to be able to recognize this in yourself. Admission is the first REAL step to dealing with it.

All people have some level of prejudice. It is a human emotion. How you deal with it is the question, and how far you allow it to guide your actions. It is difficult to "overcome" as it is the result of a lifetime's habit and training.

I would say that when you recognize a feeling of unease, you might want to stop yourself, take a deep breath, and make yourself ask just what is the issue at hand. Ask yourself if this is a reasonable reaction (it just might be). If you decide it is not, try making yourself relax a bit more. Take baby steps of coping.

Good for you at seeing this as an impediment to your "inner peace".
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post #26 of 50 Old 10-22-2013, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by NorthernMama View Post
I am prejudiced. Or at the very least, I prejudge and/or am not comfortable talking to/hanging out with some people. It is totally and completely based on something that has nothing to do with who they are as people, what their character is, what their morals are, goals, etc. etc.

I know it. I, hopefully, don't show it. So far, no one has ever said anything to me about it and I know several people that I am "prejudiced" against. I always figured that if I just got to know them better I would get over it. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be working. Of all the people I can think of that I know with the characteristic that bothers me, at this moment, I can only think of one that I can sit down with, actually have a good time with and honestly say, "I like you."

I'm convinced I have some kind of mental block about it. How do I get past it? It seems so weird to be prejudiced, know it, not want to be, but still be prejudiced. And it's just that one characteristic. Honestly, anyone can be purple with pink polka dots and I just don't care.

The reason I am asking is because I have stopped riding with some people because of it. Seems like a really dumb reason.
Everyone is prejudiced to a certain degree and it is quite normal so don't dwell on it. As in most things in life, it is the "extremes" that we need to avoid.

Think of the word as preference rather than prejudice. It is softer and truer.
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post #27 of 50 Old 10-22-2013, 06:26 PM
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I love everybody, there isn't a person I've met that I instantly can't stand or "judge"...
*some would say I'm a peace lovin hippy*

BUT give them some time, if they're a medicine junkie tell all hypochondriac or a one upper, I'll write them off quick.

Try hugging everyone you meet. I'm so not a touchy feely person, but most people like to be touched even if they don't realize it. If you get in their personal space and open yours creating friendship/opening barriers may come much quicker/easier.

Last edited by FlyGap; 10-22-2013 at 06:32 PM.
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post #28 of 50 Old 10-23-2013, 01:11 PM
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I disagree with the invading personal space thing, especially right away. Some people, like me, do not like to be touched or hugged until they have gotten to know the person a little better. I am going through this right now. There is a girl at work who has no concept of "personal space". She likes to stand a foot away, she likes to grab, and pet and poke, she likes to be close. Paired with her personality, which is a bit loud and overly dramatic, it makes people VERY uncomfortable. I about lost it when I looked over my shoulder just as she was about to lay her head on my shoulder.

Now there are other people who I greet with hugs. It all depends on how well I know and trust you.

If a stranger or new acquaintance tried to hug me, or touch me, my impression of them would be very negative.

Me, I am a very prejudiced person. How I deal with it is I keep it to myself. I am nice to everyone, but I am choosy on who I am close to. I am choosy on who I open up to. Sometimes I will go out of my shell and be with those that I know it is ridiculous to dislike for whatever reasons, just to expand on my experiences and challenge myself to grow.
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post #29 of 50 Old 10-23-2013, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyDreamer View Post
I disagree with the invading personal space thing, especially right away. Some people, like me, do not like to be touched or hugged until they have gotten to know the person a little better. I am going through this right now. There is a girl at work who has no concept of "personal space". She likes to stand a foot away, she likes to grab, and pet and poke, she likes to be close. Paired with her personality, which is a bit loud and overly dramatic, it makes people VERY uncomfortable. I about lost it when I looked over my shoulder just as she was about to lay her head on my shoulder.

Now there are other people who I greet with hugs. It all depends on how well I know and trust you.

If a stranger or new acquaintance tried to hug me, or touch me, my impression of them would be very negative.
Agreed, but then again I have a huge prejudice towards people who do not respect my boundaries regarding personal space.

It seems so me that prejudice does serve a funtional role to some degree. It almost acts as a filter. After all, you can't spend years getting to know EVERYONE you meet and then deciding if you like them or not. You need some sort of rapid assessment system.

I think the important thing is to recognize that you need to keep a logical perspective as well and realize that people deserve respect despite what anyone thinks of them. Sounds like you've accomplished this OP. As for how to eliminate prejudice altogether, from my experience it takes lots of time and disproving of those prejudices for them to fade away.
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post #30 of 50 Old 10-23-2013, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by FlyGap View Post
Try hugging everyone you meet. I'm so not a touchy feely person, but most people like to be touched even if they don't realize it. If you get in their personal space and open yours creating friendship/opening barriers may come much quicker/easier.
No, no they don't. Not by strangers anyway. Most people are too polite to say "hey you're too close and its creepy" but that doesn't make it not so. Do NOT enter someone's personal space unless you are VERY SURE it's okay.
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