How to help a friend with drug addiction/withdrawals? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 02:11 AM Thread Starter
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How to help a friend with drug addiction/withdrawals?

Ok, I hope this is the best category to post this.

There's a lotlotlot of backstory to this but I'm going to try to skip most of it and just see if you guys have some advice. So, one of my girlfriends recently starting talking to this guy at work, (just as a friend) and he stopped drugs and drinking for her. Because she doesn't like it, of course. Or at least that's what it boils down too. In the process of quitting he lost his girlfriend, who btw was with him for the drugs. They were together for a year and a half and so that has also been really hard for him. Lately though he has been hanging out at my house a lot the past week and a half, with me and my family and friends, and is now having some serious withdrawals... In the daytime he can pull through but late at night he'll either call my best friend, the one who started talking to him, or me. He is always depressed and doubtful at night and he'll usually talk for an hour at the very least.

So, tonight he called me again and he is having an even harder time with the withdrawals and his ex... we talked for over 2 hours. He said the withdrawals are killing him and he's missing his ex. now he in one of those stages where it's just like, "F the world. Who cares anyway. The worst that could happen is I would just get back on drugs." He was going to call her tonight but after I talked to him he said would would wait til tomorrow night. I knew if he called her tonight it would nooot end well. I just hope he thinks differently in the morning. There's only so much I can say. I hope he listened.

A few side notes real quick. It's not just pot this guy has done... quite a few different drugs he's done in the past. He's also only 16. About six months younger than me but he started drugs when he was 11 because his brother made him. And btw, as far as his family goes? They're a mess too. He also will NOT talk to a counselor or anything like that.

So.. help? Any advice of any kind before tomorrow afternoon would be greatly appreciated.. because that's when he's coming over next. He said he'd probably call his ex tomorrow night unless something happens that changes his mind. Hoping and praying he doesn't go back to his old life. Who knows...

**I must not forget to thank the difficult horses, who made my life miserable, but who were better teachers than the well-behaved school horses who raised no problems.**
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post #2 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 04:43 AM
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He quit for someone else? Not for himself? Then it's not likely he will be able o sustain sobriety. All I can think is for you to look into NA narcotics Anonymous. Ou might actually call hem o find a local meeting, or ask if someone there would be willing to meet with and talk to this friend.
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post #3 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 07:41 AM
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I agree with tinyliny...if he quit drugs for someone other then himself its just not going to stick.

Suggest to him he gets some professional help, people like this are not easily changed and its likely this will end in heartbreak for you. I come by this information first hand, I have several family members that are active users of heroin, prescription drugs and alcohol as well as a few who have died of overdose.

Addiction is nothing to play around with.
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post #4 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 07:49 AM
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Are his parents involved? I must say unless someone wants to help themselves there is not a whole lot you can do I've known two people that ended their lives due to alcohol and drug related related issues. One suicide and the other overdose which I suppose could have been suicide. He was 22 and had issues from early teens
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post #5 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 08:30 AM
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He's using you like a "sponsor" in a 12 step program. If he won't go for professional help maybe you can get him to an AA meeting? They can and do help a lot of people with addiction issues.
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post #6 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 10:06 AM Thread Starter
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Well, his parents do drugs and alcohol too. And he actually did go to an AA meeting with his dad yesterday. I hope he played attention. He went because his dad was the one that wanted to go but still. And he has a worse problem with drugs than alcohol-- he's not an alcoholic but he is a druggie... drinking is just something he'll do for "fun".

And yeah, about the not quitting for himself thing. Don't I know about that... that's another thing he was going on about on the phone last night. He was like,"Looking back, why'd I even quit? Yeah, just because (insert friend's name here) wanted me too. But this isn't worth it you know? I told him more than once that this wasn't for someone else. It was ultimately for HIM. And that he said yeah but that he didn't have anyone depending on him to quit so who cared anyway. And I know for a fact that to quit crap like this you HAVE to have a good reason from the get go. And he's losing it... so I just don't know. Of course me and my friend, boyfriend, and my family all care a lot about this guy now, but I think he was talking more along the lines of girlfriend... which again brings us back to him wanting his ex back again. (Broke up maybe a month or a little more btw)

Well that was rambling and strung out. Sorry as bout that. There's just to much...

I'll tell my mom about getting him professional help, but I don't even know how that will go. He's pretty against talking to people other than us about it. Thanks for input you guys.

And thanks tinyliny I might take a look into the NA thing.

**I must not forget to thank the difficult horses, who made my life miserable, but who were better teachers than the well-behaved school horses who raised no problems.**
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post #7 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 01:28 PM
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Addiction to drugs and alchohol are similar, so going to an AA meeting is not so far off from what an NA meeting would be like.

A 12 sponsor would have to be someone who HAS been an addict, and HAS some sobriety. you could not be his sponsor. you have to have been there, to know what it's like, to be able to sponsor.

he won't be able to keep his sobriety unless he decides to do this for himself.

my brother started using recreational drugs at 14. he overdosed at 51 and died. it was a long, long road of heart break for my parents, and him, but he started it way back in his teens.
If only this kid can be made to see the almost unavoidable destination he is moving toward. it's suicide in slow motion.
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post #8 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 01:35 PM
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Definitely suggest that he get professional help. Otherwise the chances that he will end up relapsing are very high.

Depending what he is on, he may need to go to rehab.

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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post #9 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 02:18 PM Thread Starter
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Ok thanks again guys. He came over on lunch break from school and he seems to be thinking a lot more reasonably about it. Then again it's daytime and he has way more of a problem at night. It's like a roller coaster. I will see what I can do about getting him some kind of professional help with it. Maybe my mom will do something.

And zex, when he was a bit younger he did some meth but he doesn't do that now. He does do pills and has shot himself up with various drugs over time..

**I must not forget to thank the difficult horses, who made my life miserable, but who were better teachers than the well-behaved school horses who raised no problems.**
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post #10 of 32 Old 02-11-2014, 04:11 PM
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I don't have much experience with things like this. Urging him to get help is great, find out where the meetings are, walk him right to the door and say you'll pick him up in an hour and buy him a burger :) Sometimes people really do need that extra help, someone to hold their hand along the way.

Also keep him busy, if he's sitting around all day thinking of course he's going to miss his ex and drugs. Go and do things gather your friends and organise to each do something each day. Find out what he cares about, or what he used to care about and help him work towards that again. Help him build a life that doesn't involve drugs. Encourage him to start helping himself.

Just my thoughts - again though I don't know that much about it.
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