How to help a friend with drug addiction/withdrawals? - Page 2
   

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How to help a friend with drug addiction/withdrawals?

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        02-11-2014, 04:39 PM
      #11
    Trained
    He needs to get some help, badly. A program that combines actual therapy with the addiction treatment would be his best bet. It really could make a huge difference. Life and death difference. I have had several friends and family members destroy their lives with drugs and alcohol. If they could've gotten real help in their teens it would've changed a lot.

    As an aside, take care of yourself too and remind your friend of this. You cannot save him yourself and you cannot swim for him. They will pull you under and suck the life out of you if they don't deal with their issues and instead try to rely on you.
    dbarabians likes this.
         
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        02-11-2014, 09:01 PM
      #12
    Trained
    If he is still going through withdrawal after a few days IMPO he is still using.
    There is nothing you can do but be there for support for him.
    If he is using the harder drugs like opiates then he needs to withdrawal under the care of a medical professional. People have died after completely stopping some drugs but most will be out of your system in about 3 days.

    Allow me to warn you. With his family history and addictions I would be very careful if I were you. Addicts are masters at manipulation and it sounds to me that he might have your number so to speak.
    I am not saying this is the case but an addiction is more important to an addict than his dignity or your friendship.
    He needs professional help and to enter a 12 step program. Preferably after completing an inpatient program.
    I truly hope this young man is indeed sincere. An Addiction though is a chronic disease that demands treatment in order to save the addicts life.
    This is a serious matter and the young mans life is at stake here.
    My hopes and prays to both of your futures. Shalom Donald
    MN Tigerstripes likes this.
         
        02-13-2014, 12:57 AM
      #13
    Foal
    Both my parents are useless drug addicst and have been since I was little. Dad is in prison for the rest of his life for drugs. And I stop by my mom's house 2-3 times a week to make sure she's still alive. I literally can't remember the last time I saw her not completely strung out. For most of my life growing up, this kinda stuff was all I knew.

    They may have good intentions, but they will lie, cheat, and steal to get what they "need." if he's still having withdrawals, like said above, he's either still using or he needs to be an in-patient somewhere. It really says a lot about you to want to help him out. Be there for encouragement and someone he can talk to. But you are not going to be able to help get him clean. He needs professionals, and even they'll have their work cut out for him. If he's in your home, hide anything valuable. And addict will steal from their mother when they get desparate. They can be so close to being sober and all it takes is one tiny slip and theyre right back where they were.

    Its great that you want to help, but use caution because anyone around is at risk. Its sad, but its not worth putting yourself and your family in a situation like that. Maybe im a little harsh on this part from it affecting my life from day one even tho I've never touched any of it. But theres really no excuse for it. I've had a rough life growing up poor white trash and never fell into it. And theres people that have had it a whole lot worse and never got involved in drugs.

    Bottom line is they made a choice and its up to them to get clean. By all means, offer encouragement and support. But be very careful not to get too deep with it. An addict going thru withdrawals that decides they absolutely need a fix is one of the scariest things you'll see
         
        02-13-2014, 02:48 AM
      #14
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ls6firebird    
    both my parents are useless drug addicst and have been since I was little. Dad is in prison for the rest of his life for drugs. And I stop by my mom's house 2-3 times a week to make sure she's still alive. I literally can't remember the last time I saw her not completely strung out. For most of my life growing up, this kinda stuff was all I knew.

    They may have good intentions, but they will lie, cheat, and steal to get what they "need." if he's still having withdrawals, like said above, he's either still using or he needs to be an in-patient somewhere. It really says a lot about you to want to help him out. Be there for encouragement and someone he can talk to. But you are not going to be able to help get him clean. He needs professionals, and even they'll have their work cut out for him. If he's in your home, hide anything valuable. And addict will steal from their mother when they get desparate. They can be so close to being sober and all it takes is one tiny slip and theyre right back where they were.

    Its great that you want to help, but use caution because anyone around is at risk. Its sad, but its not worth putting yourself and your family in a situation like that. Maybe im a little harsh on this part from it affecting my life from day one even tho I've never touched any of it. But theres really no excuse for it. I've had a rough life growing up poor white trash and never fell into it. And theres people that have had it a whole lot worse and never got involved in drugs.

    Bottom line is they made a choice and its up to them to get clean. By all means, offer encouragement and support. But be very careful not to get too deep with it. An addict going thru withdrawals that decides they absolutely need a fix is one of the scariest things you'll see
    Is6firebird you have a right to be angry.
    As a mental health professional I have seen addictions tear families apart and end in death .
    You are right to warn the OP of how addicts can be manipulative. I hope that the OP heeds your warning.
    Your anger concerns me and I hope that you reach out to someone in order to find peace.
    Forgiveness is not about the person one forgives. It is about finding peace and hope for the person who has been treated unfairly.
    You are a brave person to disclose your family problems inorder to prevent the hurt someone may feel due to the actions of others.
    My hope for you is that you find the strength to heal and to forgive.
    My thoughts and prayers are for you and the OP. Shalom Donald
         
        02-13-2014, 03:29 AM
      #15
    Super Moderator
    My brother stole the family sterling silver set that was a wedding gift to our parents, and other valuable things for his next fix.
         
        02-13-2014, 10:13 AM
      #16
    Green Broke
    I used to have a landlord that wasn't filthy rich but he did make several million by building homes. He had to hire a couple to live on his property as care takers because of his two drug addicted sons. Without the caretakers there the second they left the property his sons would show up and steal everything that wasn't nailed down to get their next fix.
         
        02-13-2014, 11:55 AM
      #17
    Green Broke
    Tinyliny--My stepbrother did something similar.

    OP--Definitely suggest rehab. He needs to remove himself from that lifestyle completely.
         
        02-13-2014, 05:10 PM
      #18
    Yearling
    Still working with the professional help thing. I reallyyy don't see him changing his mind but will try again. The last two days he has been doing quite a bit better but I hope that lasts. He isn't getting back with his ex at least, for sure, now. She'd have dragged him back down in no time. They had an argument about him not doing drugs-- she was screaming at him telling him he was going to do drugs again and he kept saying no. He seems to be very done with her in any case. And thanks for your input guys. I don't see him stealing anything, especially since if he really wanted drugs he probably wouldn't have to pay for it.. but I could definitely be wrong too.
         
        02-13-2014, 10:51 PM
      #19
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dbarabians    
    Is6firebird you have a right to be angry.
    As a mental health professional I have seen addictions tear families apart and end in death .
    You are right to warn the OP of how addicts can be manipulative. I hope that the OP heeds your warning.
    Your anger concerns me and I hope that you reach out to someone in order to find peace.
    Forgiveness is not about the person one forgives. It is about finding peace and hope for the person who has been treated unfairly.
    You are a brave person to disclose your family problems inorder to prevent the hurt someone may feel due to the actions of others.
    My hope for you is that you find the strength to heal and to forgive.
    My thoughts and prayers are for you and the OP. Shalom Donald
    I didn't mean to come across as being angry. Im not at all angry about what I had to deal with growing up. Its made me who I am. My faith and everything I believe in is so much stronger because of what I went through. That's what really helped me understand forgiveness. Just as you said, I've forgiven what I was put through and the peace I've gotten from that has made clear that theres a reason I was put through that. I've been through a lot even after growing up and being out on my own, so my childhood toughened me up to handle things later in life.

    The anger I feel is when I see other people's life affected by someone's decision to make poor decisions. Bad things happen and its the good people left wondering "what if" or "I should have done this or that" and maybe whatever happened wouldn't have. Seeing the things I've seen, it tears me up seeing people left feeling guilty or responsible, when the one who should feel those things, don't. And when they do, they just do more drugs to bury the feelings.

    I don't have a problem talking about it. I just don't go into a lot of detail because I feel like it just comes off as a "poor me" story. But I feel if I share the just of it enough, maybe it will help somebody in the op's situation.
    dbarabians likes this.
         
        02-13-2014, 11:16 PM
      #20
    Trained
    My sister has been an addict for 16 of her 29 years. She has three daughters, one of which my parents are raising as their own. Her other two were taken from her at the end of this last summer and she is just getting them back. She is still in a program and it is wonderful to see her attitude change day by day. Yes, she acts like a **** teenager a lot of times and it is draining and frustrating.

    I love her girls and her and so I forgive and help. Not enable, I don't allow her to walk all over me anymore, but I do understand that her mind at this point is not of the typical 29 year old woman. She's basically 16 yrs old with a lot of abuse added to that. Addicts do terrible things to get their next fix and one of the side effects of that are those bad things just add to all the reasons in their mind that they are not worth being sober. Add to that the "high" that comes with getting high and it is more of struggle than many of us who have not been there will ever understand.

    Love without judgement (separate the actions from the person), help without enabling, and encouraging them to seek real help is all you can do. It's just about the worst thing in the world to watch someone you love essentially commit slow suicide, but you CANNOT fix them. If they get into the right program or have an epiphany they can save themselves, otherwise it's slim odds.

    No matter what, a relationship with an addict will change you for better or worse. It is truly a terrible disease.
         

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