How much and when do I tell???

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > General Off Topic Discussion

How much and when do I tell???

This is a discussion on How much and when do I tell??? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

Like Tree1Likes

LinkBack Thread Tools
    02-27-2013, 03:47 AM
How much and when do I tell???

So it's been several months since my ex and I broke up. Now since I didn't have a ball and chain holding me back anymore, I've been going out with my girlfriends more often. Well, I have met a guy and he's a cop and after seeing him around several times I finally got a date. I'm over the moon because I really am attracted to him, but I have quite an unpleasant dating history.

Most of exs have been involved with....less then legal ways of making money. I never had anything to with it-I never wanted too. Now since my ex and I ended things I've pretty much washed my hands of that lifestyle, but I still know many people in it.

This is my problem.. do I tell him? Pot is "legal" here and I've never smoked, trimmed, sold, or had anything to do with it. But I do know plenty of people that do and feel a little awkward about it. So I guess my question is when/how should I tell him about my dating history? I'd rather he'd hear it from me then someone else.

I did talk to a friend who is still in the lifestyle and he said that maybe by being attracted to a cop is a sign that I'm ready for a more "adult" relationship and I'm moving on from dating boys with no life plan and he said don't hold back and my past won't matter if it's really right.
Posted via Mobile Device
Sponsored Links
    02-27-2013, 03:56 AM
Your past is just that, in the past. If this guy is interested in you, he won't care if you had b/fs who were involved with herbs. But don't go telling him all this until you have dated awhile, give it a chance!
Posted via Mobile Device
    02-27-2013, 04:13 AM
Oh no it definitely isn't first date talking material! It would definitely be down the road a ways, but it is something I worry about now. I really like this guy and I'm concerned on how a cop would feel about dating a girl who knows the ins and out of growing. Just because I had nothing to do with it doesn't mean I didnt learn thing or two :(
Posted via Mobile Device
    02-27-2013, 04:27 AM
I don't think it matters at all, you don't have a criminal record and you no longer associate with those that do.
Posted via Mobile Device
dbarabians likes this.
    02-27-2013, 10:42 AM
The cop you mentioned in one of my threads? Jinx, that's so exciting!!! Please do share how the first date went! :)
    02-27-2013, 12:20 PM
Growing up with a cop as a father, I could tell you they are not that overly concerned with someone who does very minor stuff. Is he going to freak out if you go over the speed limit probably not. Is he going to freak out that you have people in your life or that in your past you dealt with pot...probably not. If you're going 20 miles per hour over the limit, yeah he will might care, if pull out a joint and smoke it right there, yeah he might care.

A lot of people tend to freak out about stuff that they really could care less about. From what I knew about my father and other cops I wouldn't be surprised if they all had smoked in their younger days before joining the force. (My father hates me hearing about that but it slips up in conversation ;) )

Everyone is different in what they are offended by, and where their moral stands. Cops are just people too. They all of a sudden don't get a moral compass that only point towards goodness and shun all that don't follow it. I would forget the cop part for the most part and treat it like you would anyone else. Pot may make some none-cops run for the hills, some don't care. Don't get too hung up on that part of being with a cop.

When they're off duty they like to stay off duty. My friends have bongs, and a few plants that they are growing in their backyard. A girl moved in that had a cop for a father as well and while he was helping them move in he found the plants. Everyone freaked out and were surprised when he jokingly asked if he could take one of the plants home for himself. And that's while its still illegal in California. He didn't report anyone or even lecture them.

Rookies can have a harder time from differentiating off time and on the clock time, but then again it depends on the person themselves.
    02-27-2013, 12:38 PM
My aunt dated a cop for a while. On the weekends a group of off duty cops (including her and her boyfriend cop) liked to get together, watch a game, get stoned and drink booze. IE, they are people too.
    02-27-2013, 02:02 PM
You control what you say. If he does ask you about your previous relationship (which I doubt. Men really don't care about that) Keep it simple. It's just a first date. You don't need nor you shouldn't go into every detail about every relationship. Remember he wants to get to know YOU, not the people you've dated.
    02-27-2013, 02:26 PM
Ok I feel so much better about it :) It did have me concerned, so hearing it shouldn't be a problem from so many people makes me feel better :). We are a small community, so I know the cops would remember me from the home searches while I was living with my ex and he was on probation. That's just why I would rather he found out from me then his cop friends! But I won't worry about it for a while yet :)
Posted via Mobile Device
    02-27-2013, 02:37 PM
My dad was a cop and growing up I never got away with anything lol he knew every time I lied etc. etc. but in my experiences cops really could care less about marijuana it's something so minor and bothersome to them these days.

Quick Reply
Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:15 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0