How to people make friends these days? - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 06:19 AM Thread Starter
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How to people make friends these days?

Lately I've been noticing I have few friends. I've stopped hanging around with the people I knew before, as I noticed that, while I spent time with them, they weren't really friends.

But I don't really know where or how people make friends. The people I have known in my past had just been part of my life, made through accommodation or school, but now there isn't really stuff like that. I've always been a bit of a loner so I've never really made much effort.

I'm feeling very isolated in this town, and while I plan to move in the near future, I am concerned this will happen again.

What tips can you guys offer?
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post #2 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 06:32 AM
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Join a club, meet up with people at the barn, go clubbing (careful about those lol,) volunteer somewhere, people at work.. have friends of friends introduce you.. hang out, introduce yourselves to your neighbors, etc.

Even random people on the bus can be acquaintances and then they can grow to friends as well.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #3 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 06:56 AM Thread Starter
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I always see ideas like this. It just doesn't seem that easy. Unfortunately, there are very few riders my age in the area, and I don't board at a public place which is a shame. I volunteered at the local PC but everyone there is younger than me.

I seem to be in a weird age bracket where there is no one around, at least. Unless I want to get into the drinking/druggy crowd, which I don't.

I wish there were more social clubs, or hobbies, but these days, at least in my town, no one seems to do anything. Except drink or go to church it seems.
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post #4 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 06:59 AM
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Oh I just listed all the things that I do, lol. *They're not ambiguous or random ideas

Just put yourself out there. Turn up the confidence and be friendly :) Stand your ground and you'll see people come out of hiding. They're probably as discouraged about it as you are. Never know!

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"

Last edited by Skyseternalangel; 07-12-2012 at 07:03 AM.
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post #5 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 07:04 AM
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I made most of my current friends through horse riding activities. Start competing or showing or what not. Be alot more people than you think. You just have to be more open to having friends that arnt like you. So what if they arnt your age. In the horse world in my area almost all are women, consequently most of my friends are female.
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post #6 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 08:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Lately I've been noticing I have few friends. I've stopped hanging around with the people I knew before, as I noticed that, while I spent time with them, they weren't really friends.

But I don't really know where or how people make friends. The people I have known in my past had just been part of my life, made through accommodation or school, but now there isn't really stuff like that. I've always been a bit of a loner so I've never really made much effort.

I'm feeling very isolated in this town, and while I plan to move in the near future, I am concerned this will happen again.

What tips can you guys offer?
I totally understand..when I moved from suburbia to rural..I lost my friends because ITO driving 25 miles is like going on a major trip..I realized I was the 1 taking care of 20 acres, 6 horses, 2 kids and driving 25 miles to keep the friendship going...as soon as I quit haven't heard from them! In this town its either "older" we can't do it any more folks or younger party types. I have made friends with a few out here by common activities and fill the void talking to people on forums, FB, etc I have also made friends with the hay folks, the farm supply folks, etc

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post #7 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 08:11 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by eclipseranch View Post
I totally understand..when I moved from suburbia to rural..I lost my friends because ITO driving 25 miles is like going on a major trip..I realized I was the 1 taking care of 20 acres, 6 horses, 2 kids and driving 25 miles to keep the friendship going...as soon as I quit haven't heard from them! In this town its either "older" we can't do it any more folks or younger party types. I have made friends with a few out here by common activities and fill the void talking to people on forums, FB, etc I have also made friends with the hay folks, the farm supply folks, etc

Yeah its kind of like that! I'm probably meant to be a young party type, but I'm not. I don't know who could afford to be a party type and own a horse anyway! I came up here for university but couldn't afford to live on campus, so I miss out on that lifestyle, I made a few friends though. Then I went overseas and when I came back all my friends had moved on with their lives, so I had to start all over again. But now there just seem to be 17 year olds just out of home, and I'm old. The horse riders are 15 year old girls.. nothing wrong with them but that's not the way I want to spend my time. All the older riders bailed on this town when they left school! Its only a smallish place, 20,000 people with a large older population, and 85% of this uni's students are external students, so they don't live in town. It's all a bit weird, not like any uni I have been to.

I just don't know where to go from here. I think I am moving down south now that I have graduated, when my lease is up. At least I'll family there, and I can see them more than twice or so a year!
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post #8 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 08:12 AM
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Buy a horse trailer. Seriously. People at my barn who didn't talk to me very much have suddenly expressed interest in going to horse events (with or without the trailer) ever side I bought one.

Look around for tack auctions - people gather there. Check for local shows and trail riding groups too.
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post #9 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 08:39 AM
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smallish place 20,000 ! Not what I would call smallish. That's a major city !
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post #10 of 18 Old 07-12-2012, 08:48 AM
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20k people is like a closet to me ;). The current city I live in has like mid 60k people and I feel like I can't go anywhere without running in to people I know. I'm used to living with a several million population.
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