how would you handle this - The Horse Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 Old 10-28-2011, 11:45 AM Thread Starter
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how would you handle this

me and my boyfriend graduated this past may from a shipping school. which means anyone who went here either graduates to work on ships either in the engine room /as a captain or as an office person who directs ships where to go and when.
we currently live 2 hours away from eachother and see eachother about every 2 weeks just for the weekend. now we always expected him to ship out and travel type deal but would be home after he returned. but he just got this job and its in tx half a country away and he works 4 days on 4 off. we plan on seeing eachother every 2 months. dont get me wrong, i am so happy he got a job he was so depressed without it and this will open doors for him, it just feels like i am losing my best friend. anyways how do i get over that feeling of losing my friend. will it get better? it might be since my first real bf went off like this and he ended up cheating on me and dumping me via facebook so i really do not want to get hurt when this is starting to look like the same scenerio with a different person.

any ideas?? or tips on long distance... i know some hate the idea of it and it has worked for others... so anything at this point would be helpful

thanks in advance
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post #2 of 5 Old 10-28-2011, 12:18 PM
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The harsh reality is you have to go where the jobs are!

How long have you two been together?

How serious is the relationship?

Is there a possibility of you relocating to Texas as well?

How long does his new job last? Is it a one year deal? Two year?

You have to determine how much you want to invest in the relationship, time-wise and emotional-wise.

Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle.
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post #3 of 5 Old 10-28-2011, 12:40 PM Thread Starter
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RED GATE FARM
i know he has to go where the jobs are it sucks!!! its just we dont do well with communicating via phone, skype, or any of that... we both feel weird when we do. its hard to explain.
How long have you two been together? How serious is the relationship?
over 2 years and he has already popped the marriage question. we are in a long engagment!!! :)
Is there a possibility of you relocating to Texas as well? i would relocate bc its supposedly horse country :) but not anytime soon
How long does his new job last? Is it a one year deal? Two year? and the job is indefintie. its up to him!!!

how do ppl get that feeling of being there for someone when they are not literally there... thats what is bugging me i think

Last edited by TaMMa89; 10-29-2011 at 04:27 PM.
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post #4 of 5 Old 10-28-2011, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by kait18 View Post
RED GATE FARM
i know he has to go where the jobs are it sucks!!! its just we dont do well with communicating via phone, skype, or any of that... we both feel weird when we do. its hard to explain.
How long have you two been together? How serious is the relationship?
over 2 years and he has already popped the marriage question. we are in a long engagment!!! :)
Is there a possibility of you relocating to Texas as well? i would relocate bc its supposedly horse country :) but not anytime soon
How long does his new job last? Is it a one year deal? Two year? and the job is indefintie. its up to him!!!

how do ppl get that feeling of being there for someone when they are not literally there... thats what is bugging me i think
There are ways of keeping that long distance relationship going.

Ask a military wife

From what you've told me, it's serious and you really want to work on making this work. If you're both committed, then TRUST is a big issue. You have to trust each other, and listen to each other (not to well-meaning friends who whisper doubts into your ears).

It's best if you both can get together physically on a regular basis. You NEED the hugs and kisses!

Try writing. Yes, old fashioned writing. I can't tell you how thrilled I was to receive letters from my first husband when he was away on ships (in the navy). This was something he actually touched! It might sound corny, but you think of those things. You write back, and send little thoughtful things, things you did, day to day things. This way it's like you two are right there, experiencing stuff together.

Cards, notes, sending flowers, little gifts. Every time something comes in the mail, you'll get that feeling again. It doesn't have to be expensive either.

I remember getting one letter from my husband, and when I opened it up, dozens of red hearts EXPLODED out of the letter! He had spent an evening cutting up those hearts and stuffing them into the letter. As he cut up each one, he smiled and thought of the surprise I'd get.

Trust, Romance, thoughful gestures. That is how we did it.

Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle.

Last edited by TaMMa89; 10-29-2011 at 04:28 PM.
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post #5 of 5 Old 10-28-2011, 01:21 PM Thread Starter
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it sounds corny but corny is right up my alley :) i shall try this.
and you really helped me think i could do this... i am nervous but i will trust and do corny gestures lol thanks so much :)
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