I could use some advice.... - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 01:02 AM
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Well, faceman is right, it would be far wiser to join after you get a degree. But if you are absolutely determined to join now you should tell your parents - here is why: imho, recruiters are not necessarily looking out for your best interest. At least find someone that has served for a while that can help you examine what the recruiter has told you, what he can actually truthfully promise you, and what is possible, and what is highly probable. You can avoid a lot of this "unknown" if you get a degree.
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post #12 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 06:31 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IquitosARG10 View Post
I was in your same position, althought I was 19. I called my parents from MEPS...not the greatest plan I ever had but it's what I had to do.

You know what is right for you. My mom was and still is the hardest sell ever. She'll never approve of it but she tries and I know she is proud of me :)

I would have a serious sit down discussion with them about it - tell them your plans, what job your are going to do, why you are proud to do it, and how this will have a positive effect on your life. I wish you the best - it will be an amazing journey.
Did you really? How did your parents react to that? I've never done something this disobediant in my life, but otherwise I'll never be able to accomplish my goals.

I have tried to have serious sitdowns with them. They won't listen. Well, my father does, but my mom gets very....upset.

Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by flytobecat View Post
There's no reason why you can't be in the Navy and still get your college degree.
In fact they will probably encourage you to continue your education.
I think your mother is probably worried because you will be growing up and leaving.
IMO-by the way you are handling this, she has good reason to worry.
Put away your ego and temper, sit down with them one night, and calmly discuss your decision with them. Let them know that this isn't just a whim, and that you've carefully thought this out from all angles.
Their your parents, they may not like it, but they will deal with it.
Well, my goal was to try my best to get a degree that pertained to my job field while in the Navy.

Like I've said above and on the original post, I can't. I have tried to sit down with them. I can try and try and try, but my mom won't listen to me.

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Originally Posted by CLaPorte432 View Post
Since your dad will listen, maybe tell him what your planning on doing so atleast someone knows where you will be (the whole safety thing) and then he can talk with your mother. I hate playing dad against mom, but if she won't listen to you, maybe she will listen to him? She needs to understand that your not 5 years old anymore and that your growing up to be an independent young woman with dreams of your own.

Can you write her a letter and really go into detail on how you feel and how she makes you feel that you won't accept what your really want to do. Leave it on the counter for her to find before you leave? Maybe guilt tripping her will help? LoL, I don't know...I'm fortunate to have parents that would love to kick me out of the house. LMAO!
I could try, but I see him running and telling my mom. Then all hell breaks loose.

The letter idea is really good. I might try that. Thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy May View Post
Well, faceman is right, it would be far wiser to join after you get a degree. But if you are absolutely determined to join now you should tell your parents - here is why: imho, recruiters are not necessarily looking out for your best interest. At least find someone that has served for a while that can help you examine what the recruiter has told you, what he can actually truthfully promise you, and what is possible, and what is highly probable. You can avoid a lot of this "unknown" if you get a degree.
I've talked to quite a few people that are either currently serving or have served. My recruiter is pretty honest. Of course, he sheds a positive light on some things, but he knows I'm going to stick with him either way, and he's about to be on his way back to a ship before the new recruiter comes in, so he usually will answer my questions pretty truthfully.

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post #13 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 07:36 AM
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I agree with the advice Faceman and Missy May have given.
I joined the Air Force after getting my Masters degree.
If you do not go to college this is really important. Make sure that your training from the Navy will ensure a good job when out,
The military uses some of the newest and best technology take advantage of this.
Even if you spend 20 years in you will still be a young person when you retire.
What ever you decide good luck. Shalom
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post #14 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 08:05 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dbarabians View Post
I agree with the advice Faceman and Missy May have given.
I joined the Air Force after getting my Masters degree.
If you do not go to college this is really important. Make sure that your training from the Navy will ensure a good job when out,
The military uses some of the newest and best technology take advantage of this.
Even if you spend 20 years in you will still be a young person when you retire.
What ever you decide good luck. Shalom
When looking at career options within the Navy, I did try to keep in mind how I could transfer skills to the civilian world. As it stands, all of the jobs I am wanting are either in the electronic or mechanical field. Of course, what job I get is really determined by the needs of the Navy, so hopefully when I get to MEPS at least one job I want will show up. If not, I'll take the closest thing to it.

Thanks!

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post #15 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 09:44 AM
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Make sure you get everything in writing when you are at MEPS and sign your contract, and that you understand everything that is being said. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
You might even ask your recruiter if he would be willing to break the news to your parents with you. When I joined the Army, my recruiter came to our house and sat down with my whole family to explain everything.

So in lies the madness, the pursuit of the impossible in the face of the complete assurance that you will fail, and yet still you chase.
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post #16 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 09:54 AM
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Did you really? How did your parents react to that? I've never done something this disobediant in my life, but otherwise I'll never be able to accomplish my goals.

I have tried to have serious sitdowns with them. They won't listen. Well, my father does, but my mom gets very....upset.

Thank you!


Trust me, I had never either! I knew what I wanted and finally had to make the decision for myself. You can't let anyone hold you back from your dreams and aspirations or you will live your life with regret. HOWEVER, since it is you parents, it's a little more challenging than that. My dad was alright with it but my mom was certainly not. I could not count the times I got silent treatment, the times we yelled, and all the times my mom cried. It makes me feel horrible inside, but I had to live my life and the AF was where I wanted to live it. I am hesitant to offer up advice as far as missing school; perhaps you could wait til the end of the school year? I spent a year in my DEP program before I actually left. My recruiter was also a POS (watch out for that) so I ended up going into the reserves instead of Active Duty.

Also, there are SO many ways to go to school while you're enlisted, so don't let that stop you. Are you enlisting for active duty or the reserves?

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post #17 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 04:31 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IquitosARG10 View Post

Trust me, I had never either! I knew what I wanted and finally had to make the decision for myself. You can't let anyone hold you back from your dreams and aspirations or you will live your life with regret. HOWEVER, since it is you parents, it's a little more challenging than that. My dad was alright with it but my mom was certainly not. I could not count the times I got silent treatment, the times we yelled, and all the times my mom cried. It makes me feel horrible inside, but I had to live my life and the AF was where I wanted to live it. I am hesitant to offer up advice as far as missing school; perhaps you could wait til the end of the school year? I spent a year in my DEP program before I actually left. My recruiter was also a POS (watch out for that) so I ended up going into the reserves instead of Active Duty.

Also, there are SO many ways to go to school while you're enlisted, so don't let that stop you. Are you enlisting for active duty or the reserves?

See, everyone keeps telling me to just sit down and tell them blah blah blah. But that is easier said than done, ESPECIALLY when I've been trying to tell them since I first turned 17. I'm pretty much at the end of the school year. I already have all of my required credits to graduate, they are just making me stay because we're in our last trimester. I graduate middle of May.

From what I understand for the Navy, you get your job and ship date that day at MEPS. I am planning on going active duty.

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post #18 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 04:33 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by flytobecat View Post
Make sure you get everything in writing when you are at MEPS and sign your contract, and that you understand everything that is being said. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
You might even ask your recruiter if he would be willing to break the news to your parents with you. When I joined the Army, my recruiter came to our house and sat down with my whole family to explain everything.
Will do!

I might have the recruiter sit down and tell them AFTER I've been to MEPS. There's no use trying beforehand.

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post #19 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 04:37 PM
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You need to tell your parents. You know what they say - honesty is the best policy. I promise it will be okay. They may get angry but you'll feel lots better.
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post #20 of 36 Old 04-05-2012, 07:13 PM
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The military is an amazing opportunity to get college money. I may say I hate it most days, but I am really glad I made the decision to join the army. I do not have to pay for college, I have a steady paycheck, they keep me in shape, and it is something I am proud of. I am proud of myself for getting through boot camp and making a smart decision with my life when I didn't know what I wanted to do in school. This gave me time to think about it and not be stuck in a dead end job. I don't know why a parent wouldn't want their kid to join. Would they rather have you working at McDonalds when you graduate?
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