Vida you sound like an amazing person. I think insight often times comes from facing terrible situations and having to willfully decide to go on. That has been true for me. A number of years ago I had to face my own mortality, since that day, every day I have been here has been appreciated because by rights I should not have been here. I really treasure friends and family and don't get caught up (to badly) in the material traps in this world.
As someone I value once said to me, "how you face the difficulties in life, define you as a person." I choose to live in the now, and not get to wrapped up in the future.