I hate being touched and it's causing my fiancÚ and I to argue.. - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 35 Old 11-28-2013, 04:37 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
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JDI pretty much covered it.

I have to say though, how do you think it makes him feel that you have to be intoxicated in order to be intimate with him? I've never been a touchy-feely person either, but if my fiance couldn't touch me without booze, I'd be extremely hurt. That relationship wouldn't last long.

Are you sure there's not some deeper problem going on? I'm not saying there's something "wrong" with you, but I agree with those who suggested getting help before you tie the knot. Good luck.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
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post #32 of 35 Old 11-28-2013, 05:16 PM
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It all seems pretty simple to me as I read your posts.
I sincerely believe that you love him and that he is also your best friend.
I think it is great that you found him and I'm sure he is a wonderful (and fortunate) guy.
You can however love someone and want them to be in your life forever without feeling the need to marry them. It is not required to keep the two of you close.
The need to drink and be uninhibited is the most concerning thing you said in my opinion. I'm certain that it would crush you if the roles were reversed. You would be confused and hurt. Rightfully so.
I would just set the "marry" idea on the shelf for now and relax. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be touched, but it obviously does not make for a great relationship of love. A new marriage is hard enough even when all goes well, but to start one with such a unresolved issue does not bode well.
I think you already knew the responses you would get, but you wanted to confirm your own thoughts and that was a wise thing to do.

I wish you the very best.
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post #33 of 35 Old 11-28-2013, 08:19 PM
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You might need to find someone who can help you delve deep into your past. When my mother delivered me she had a stroke that incapacitated her and she required nursing help. A woman offered to be my nanny. (I don't remember her). The first year of my life there was very little time with my mother. I have never been able to connect with people on a deeper level, that important bond.
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post #34 of 35 Old 12-01-2013, 11:17 PM
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I'm wondering if there is a specific reason you don't like being touched. But I agree with the others. You should see a therapist before getting married. It would do a lot of good in the long run. Touching is an important part of any relationship. I don't really like it either. I'm an introvert and live by "more is less". But in marriage or any romantic relationship, touching plays a huge part in it...it's another way of expressing feeling.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I may seem small, but if you mess with my horse, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.
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post #35 of 35 Old 12-01-2013, 11:25 PM
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I would suggest therapy. You may have had abuse done to you as a child, and that's why you don't want to be touched now.
Good luck on your relationship, I hope you get everything figured out.
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