I hate being touched and it's causing my fiancé and I to argue.. - Page 4 - The Horse Forum

 38Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #31 of 35 Old 11-28-2013, 04:37 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Middle-of-Nowhere, Illinois
Posts: 2,225
• Horses: 1
JDI pretty much covered it.

I have to say though, how do you think it makes him feel that you have to be intoxicated in order to be intimate with him? I've never been a touchy-feely person either, but if my fiance couldn't touch me without booze, I'd be extremely hurt. That relationship wouldn't last long.

Are you sure there's not some deeper problem going on? I'm not saying there's something "wrong" with you, but I agree with those who suggested getting help before you tie the knot. Good luck.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
Jessabel is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #32 of 35 Old 11-28-2013, 05:16 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 879
• Horses: 0
It all seems pretty simple to me as I read your posts.
I sincerely believe that you love him and that he is also your best friend.
I think it is great that you found him and I'm sure he is a wonderful (and fortunate) guy.
You can however love someone and want them to be in your life forever without feeling the need to marry them. It is not required to keep the two of you close.
The need to drink and be uninhibited is the most concerning thing you said in my opinion. I'm certain that it would crush you if the roles were reversed. You would be confused and hurt. Rightfully so.
I would just set the "marry" idea on the shelf for now and relax. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be touched, but it obviously does not make for a great relationship of love. A new marriage is hard enough even when all goes well, but to start one with such a unresolved issue does not bode well.
I think you already knew the responses you would get, but you wanted to confirm your own thoughts and that was a wise thing to do.

I wish you the very best.
Shropshirerosie likes this.
bkylem is offline  
post #33 of 35 Old 11-28-2013, 08:19 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 17,193
• Horses: 0
You might need to find someone who can help you delve deep into your past. When my mother delivered me she had a stroke that incapacitated her and she required nursing help. A woman offered to be my nanny. (I don't remember her). The first year of my life there was very little time with my mother. I have never been able to connect with people on a deeper level, that important bond.
Saddlebag is offline  
post #34 of 35 Old 12-01-2013, 11:17 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,403
• Horses: 0
I'm wondering if there is a specific reason you don't like being touched. But I agree with the others. You should see a therapist before getting married. It would do a lot of good in the long run. Touching is an important part of any relationship. I don't really like it either. I'm an introvert and live by "more is less". But in marriage or any romantic relationship, touching plays a huge part in it...it's another way of expressing feeling.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I may seem small, but if you mess with my horse, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.
horsecrazygirl is offline  
post #35 of 35 Old 12-01-2013, 11:25 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,487
• Horses: 0
I would suggest therapy. You may have had abuse done to you as a child, and that's why you don't want to be touched now.
Good luck on your relationship, I hope you get everything figured out.
Posted via Mobile Device
horsecrazygirl likes this.
GamingGrrl is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Saddle suggestion for my fiance?! Zimpatico Horse Tack and Equipment 10 03-09-2011 04:09 PM
Pics of myself that my fiance took EventersBabe Hobbies 1 06-17-2010 12:18 PM
Do you argue with your instructor? MyBoyPuck English Riding 55 06-05-2010 07:34 AM
Its my fiance's bday today and i have no idea... NicoleS11 General Off Topic Discussion 1 01-27-2009 06:51 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome