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I just got to let it out

This is a discussion on I just got to let it out within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
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        08-10-2008, 09:07 PM
      #11
    Started
    I would try and get to know her more without you both using the term "dating." If you said yes, that meant that you have feelings for her or didn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm going through this whole "dating/relationship" thing for the first time for about two months now. In the beginning when I was dumb, I jumped him with the question asking him if we were dating. He said yes but a couple weeks later he came out with the truth and told that he couldn't date me anymore because he had been cheated on twice in long distance relationships but still wanted to get to know me. I was totally fine with that because I just thought guys wanted to say they were dating a girl as soon as possible but now I know from him, and you, that not all guys are like that. Now we've spent these past two months getting to know each other and we've become really, really close. I was like you, thinking that no one would ever like me and I wasn't the one to make the first move on a guy. Either he had to do it or there was nothing. Lol I would get to know her more on a friend level. If she really likes you, she'll accept that and not just flip you off because you said you wouldn't date her because you need more time.

    (Sorry for my story. I didn't really know any other way to explain it. Lol)
         
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        08-10-2008, 09:27 PM
      #12
    Weanling
    Actually you did pretty well. And that's kinda like how I am, I aint really the one to make the first move.....and I do agree, I am puzzled when a girl says she likes me.... or somethin.. cause I am like "why?" lol..
         
        08-10-2008, 10:40 PM
      #13
    Started
    Lol And some girls like to make the first move!! Everyone's different. Some are bold in the world of dating, others, like me, have no clue!
         
        08-10-2008, 11:04 PM
      #14
    Trained
    I would say that it doesn't hurt to just go and hang out with her. (But make sure she knows it's just as friends for now) It might help you to get over your fear to just get out there and hang out with some people and get to know them. Maybe you'll find that it will help you trust again.
         
        08-11-2008, 12:36 AM
      #15
    Chat Moderator
    My hat's off to you for having the courage to even say anything.
         
        08-11-2008, 06:49 AM
      #16
    Weanling
    Take iot from somone old enough to be your grandma...... relaaaaaaaaaaaaaax! LOL

    Trust me. When that special girl comes along, your mouth will fall open and your life will pour out. You'll be shocked and amazed at yourself. LOl

    Now, there will also be other wonderful gals who make you do this, but they won't be that special one. Don't fault them or yourself. Make connectuions. Make friends. That's LIFE.

    It's like learning to walk. If you are afraid to fall, you'll crawl your whole life. I'm sorry your trust was shaken. It' hurts, I know. But you survived. You gain strength knowing it won't kill you. Walk on.
         
        08-11-2008, 09:35 AM
      #17
    Trained
    Excellent advice up there from Dash! Brandon....*take a deep breath* You are fine...calm down and go out with the girl from bible study...*breath out*

    My first hubby was killed in a car accident...I thought I would never find another. I wasn't even sure I wanted another. So I just lived my life and adored our child and was really happy being a mom and going to work...but eventually...like 4 years later...I got lonely. I just wanted someone to talk to and hang out with. I wasn't looking for romance. I met my current hubby through friends, we were both going through rough times...he was in the midst of a divorce. We ended up hanging out. Our girls liked to play with eachother so we woould get together for playdates for our kids. I didn't like him as a romantic prospect at first. He was a good listener. One thing lead to another and 6 years later I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. He has seen me at my worst, snotty nosed and red faced balling my eyes out and hurting from a place so deep inside that I felt that I may just split in two. All that before we kissed! And ya know what...we were open and honest with each other and God/Life had plans for us that neither of us saw comming. It worked! Give yourself some time and learn how to enjoy someone else's company with no expectations on lifetime romance. That will come on its own, you just have to be willing to be there.

    Sorry I wrote a book...You're a good guy B. Let love happen on its own.
         
        08-11-2008, 02:34 PM
      #18
    Foal
    This might not help much but I figured I'd tell it anyway..

    You see there was this boy who had had a crush on me for like 3 years or so.. But I never did feel the same way about him.. he sent me emails and told my friends how much he loved me and wanted to date me But like I said I had no feelings oher than friendship for him.. so when I got old enough to talk to guys on the phone I knew he would want to start calling so I wrote him a letter ( because I'm no good at talkin face to face about things like this ) telling him how I felt and stuff and that I would be friends with him but that was as for as it could go ( for more reasons than 1) so he started calling me and several people waslike oh you'll end up dating him before its over but I was like no I won't.. So we became pretty good friends and after a few months ( over that time I had to keep reminding him I only liked him as a friend ) he got a girlfriend.. So even though now he's stopped calling me and we hardly talk at all now he seems happy with the other girl and I'm very happy for him..

    I guess what I'm trying to say is it's possible to be frinds with a guy/girl even though they might have feelings beyond and friendship and you may not. Then in time you will each find someone you care for... So it would'nt hurt to talk and hang out with that girl some ( be sure to keep being honest with her so you don't lead her on though) and who knows you two might develope an awesome friendship..
         
        08-11-2008, 03:56 PM
      #19
    Green Broke
    Brandon you will find the perfect girl one day who loves you for you! I promise you that! :)
         
        08-11-2008, 04:41 PM
      #20
    Yearling
    You know, I wouldn't worry about going out with someone who isn't 'the one'. I don't know what you're expecting from dating and going out with people, but few people find The One (if such a person exists) right away. It's okay to give things a go and have them not work out; it doesn't mean you're a bad person or not suited to girls or anything. Don't be afraid or worried if you go out with a girl who doesn't turn out to be your lifelong partner :)

    Perhaps if you take off the pressure of finding She Who Will Love You Forever, dating might be easier. Just relax and take things as they come. Don't worry about putting names and labels on things.
         

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