I need advice regarding my boss! - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 10 Old 03-11-2014, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
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I need advice regarding my boss!

So I am a teenager and I work at a barn and have a good relationship with my boss who owns all the horses I take care of. Well one day I was with my friend and fellow coworker, Ill call her E, playing around with one of the horses when my boss comes to the barn with a friend. I take one look at this "friend" and immediately recognize him as guy who had cheated on my best friend's mother (this was a few years back and they ended their relationship then). This man, who I'll call B, recognizes me and hugs me, asks how i've been doing, etc. Well, my boss can act pretty flirty with people so I could not tell if she was in some relationship with him or if she was just friends with him.

Even though I decided her dealings with him were none of my business, I couldn't stop thinking about what he had done to my best friend's mother and, in a moment of a complete lack of self control, I told E what he had done. She was surprised and I felt bad for telling, but we just kind of left it at that because we thought that he might have changed and it's none of our business anyway.

Well, weeks go by and all of a sudden I get a text from her telling me that B has been hanging and and talking to our boss a WHOLE lot more and that she really doesn't like him and thinks we should tell her about the cheating. I asked her if he did anything to suddenly set this off and she told me he came behind her one day and started massaging her and acting really creepy, and now her mom is really mad and wants to tell our boss. E wants for us to tell the boss together about the whole situation.

Any advice on how to deal with this? Sorry about the length and the grammar.
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post #2 of 10 Old 03-11-2014, 10:56 PM
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It's not your business. Period. Don't get involved.
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post #3 of 10 Old 03-11-2014, 11:12 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by CLaPorte432 View Post
It's not your business. Period. Don't get involved.
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That is exactly how I feel. I think, if anything, if E feels uncomfortable around him for the reason she stated then it should be her mom talking to the boss about that specific thing. Also, I think that since E has a much much much closer relationship with the boss than I do than I guess she feels like it would be alright to tell her, even though I'm very leery about it. But, you're right. It isn't my business. Thank you for your input.
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post #4 of 10 Old 03-11-2014, 11:23 PM
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It depends on how close you are with your boss. Is this just someone who pays you or do yall do lunch, or go ride together. You don't want your friends uncomfortable so its difficult. I would say it just depends on how well yall get along. I probably would say somthing bc if they break up and she finds out that you knew he was a cheater she could be mad you didnt say anything.
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post #5 of 10 Old 03-11-2014, 11:34 PM
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I agree with CLa. It's not your business!
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post #6 of 10 Old 03-12-2014, 01:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CLaPorte432 View Post
It's not your business. Period. Don't get involved.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Macavity View Post
That is exactly how I feel. I think, if anything, if E feels uncomfortable around him for the reason she stated then it should be her mom talking to the boss about that specific thing. Also, I think that since E has a much much much closer relationship with the boss than I do than I guess she feels like it would be alright to tell her, even though I'm very leery about it. But, you're right. It isn't my business. Thank you for your input.
These two things. Unless you are much closer to your boss than I get the impression of, then what's going on between her and this guy isn't any of your business. However, acting inappropriately towards an employee isn't ok. Your friend and perhaps her mother needs to have a conversation with your boss about THAT matter, but the personal issues don't have any bearing on that IMO.
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post #7 of 10 Old 03-12-2014, 08:49 AM
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Let's not forget that people can change. We have all done things in the past we wish we hadn't done. And we learn from those mistakes.

Who are you to bring up the past and ruin something that could turn out to be great between two people? There is a fine line, you don't know the whole story of what transpired...Even if your close friends with the family this happened to.

Turn your back on the situation and let it go. Unless this persons brings it up to you, you shouldn't speak a word of it.
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post #8 of 10 Old 03-12-2014, 09:07 AM
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Agree, don't get involved.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #9 of 10 Old 03-12-2014, 09:09 AM
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The co-worker, whom he touched, needs to shut him down. A simple and clear "Do not touch me." will do. If, it then continues she (with her mom, if the co-worker needs her for support) should tell the boss of the unwanted touching. The mom should not say anything unless the boss blows the report off.

The history of the creep's cheating should not come up. The unwanted touching should be a big enough red flag for the boss. If it isn't? Well, she won't be the first stupid person to ignore very clear signs of trouble.
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post #10 of 10 Old 03-12-2014, 09:35 AM
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Here's a scenario for you:

You tell the boss, she gets mad, how dare you tell "lies" about her new BF, you get fired. He cheats, she's embarrassed and you're still fired because having you around would remind her that she didn't listen when maybe she should have.


Stay out of it. As an adult who has seen most of it I can tell you that the woman won't believe you because she doesn't want to believe that about the guy. If he has changed, I don't believe it for a minute but Hey, this is all hypothetical anyhow, then you've planted a seed of doubt and that's not good. If he hasn't, and that's more likely, she's going to feel really dumb when she gets hung out to dry and she'll STILL take it out on you. You lose no matter what. Just walk away.

As for your friend and the unwanted touching, you're darn right she and her mom ought to address it. I don't know how old she is, really to me it doesn't matter, 13-23 she'd still be my daughter and I would be ready to eviscerate the guy for putting his hands on my kid. Period. So, I think they should tell the BO about that and make clear what will happen if he ever touches the kid again.

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