I think you are absolutely one of the bravest girls that I've ever heard of. To tell your story so openly in hopes of helping other people and getting people to stop bullying is amazing. I think there are a lot more people out there that do hurt themselves, but are too scared to admit it. There are a lot of people that are dealing with depression and eating disorders and I think that your story will provide them the strength to get better.
You are SUCH a beautiful girl. (I totally stalked your horse Love Story and seen your pictures) There is NO reason for you to feel bad about yourself. Young people can be absolutely cruel! And there is no need what-so-ever for it. The only reason why people like them continue to pick on other people is because they are self conscious about something in their life. No one is perfect in this world. And if someone think's they are perfect, well, that's actually their imperfection.
There are so many ups and downs in life and I'm so sorry that you had to go through everything that you have gone through the past 5 years. You didn't deserve to be treated so poorly. No one ever does. It's often people that misunderstand or don't try to understand someone's situation that are the first people to judge. It's not fair.
I personally have been depressed, on anti-depressants, used to hurt myself and did the whole "not eating" thing. But I figured out that I was hurting the people that cared about me the most. My parents, my animals. I didn't have very close friends so they never knew, but the ones closest to me were able to help me pull through some of my darkest days. Honestly, the main thing that helped me was my dog. He was always there for me, he dried my tears and made me laugh. He was my shining light in my darkest hours.
You look so happy with your horse. I think if you were to put your energy towards getting better for your horse, you'll realize that the people that pick on you and treat you like your a nobody, won't even matter. Hold your head HIGH because you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to live your life to the fullest. Your horse doesn't care what you look like, he doesn't care what you sound like, he doesn't care about anything except for your kindness and your willingness to accept him for who he is and not judge him. That's true love.
You will get better, and you'll look back and probably be ashamed of the way that you treated yourself. But that is why you need to focus on getting better now, because being horrible to yourself for 5 years, in much better then being horrible to yourself for 25 years. The world is in your hands. So take what is being offered and don't look back.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."