Hey Lovestory... I've been following this thread, but not saying anything...
And don't take me wrong please!! I have been through my fair share of torture by other kids and adults, eating disorders, mental illnesses, therapy, medication, the lot! I think very few people get through this life unscathed... Especially these days, I think every second person has a struggle...
But perhaps you need a different perspective: This is mine... And I want to put it the best way possible. Maybe you should just decide to be stronger than this. High School may seem important, but it's nothing, I promise you! And when you graduate, your life is just starting! So don't sweat it now... these people around you, are kids themselves, and they mean nothing to your life in the long run. They need not have any permanent effect on your life... they are not worth it.
The very coolest, most creative, most interesting and above all, most SUCCESSFUL people I know now, were picked on at school etc. They become GREAT people because they don't just get what they want (like the 'cool and popular and pretty' kids at school!), and this builds character and ambition. I promise you, that out of high school, when life really starts, you can turn over a new leaf... and be anything you want! These people will be, and should be, forgotten!
I know its hard, but girl, I think you need to consciously start to rise above this. Tell yourself every day (and out loud!) that what people say and what they think doesn't matter, and that you will never let them see that they can hurt or humiliate you. Don't sit alone at break, and allow the thoughts to overcome you... go find something to do... keep yourself occupied... learn something new... chat with your friends on the horseforum... go to the library... anything except wallowing and thinking and internalising.
I know this is getting long, but perhaps I can make an example from my own life. Not the same thing, but when I started riding again as an adult, I knew that I wasn't as fearless as a kid, and not as skilled as my adult contemporaries, and I wanted to catch up fast!
So I told myself that I would never admit fear, even if I felt it dreadfully! (and I was so afraid at times) and to never say "No" to my trainer when asked to do something. So I was asked to ride some scary horses, and I said "yes", and was asked to jump higher than I ever have: "yes!", fell off and got back on, and asked to do that scary thing once more "yes!". And so forth.
And not very long afterwards I caught myself... not being afraid! At all!
Not just pretending to not be afraid... I just wasn't. And I'm not. At all. It's weird, but I manifested it, and now it's as real as my eyes are brown.
Silly example but the moral of the story is: you will believe what you tell yourself, and if you tell yourself something positive all the time, you will become it! It's hard I know! But this change has to start with you, and you'll see, other people will start to believe you too!
I have a friend who gives me great perspective when I feel like crumbling, he doesn't hug me or baby me, he just says in a stern voice: ''Muumi, put your big girl panties on!'' or "Man the **** up!'' and these days I appreciate it more than anything else.
And in closing... some inspirational art: It's a good place to start...
PS. Apologies also for the long and slightly obnoxious post...