I'm going for treatment... Bullying. *Slightly long* - Page 6 - The Horse Forum
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post #51 of 62 Old 06-23-2012, 11:44 AM Thread Starter
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Witbank, South Africa
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Well everyone, I am very happy to let you all know that I am completely better!! I don't have time to post details, but I will very soon.

Every girl wants their own LOVE STORY, I found mine... :)
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post #52 of 62 Old 06-23-2012, 05:14 PM
Green Broke
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That is such amazing news! I am so happy for you. Great job.

I was a dreamer
Before you went and let me down.
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post #53 of 62 Old 06-23-2012, 09:00 PM
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Wow, what an interesting and disturbing thread. I am really glad you are better. It is disturbing b/c of the behavior of those that taunted you, which are the people that need some behavior modification, big time. They will have to live w what they are and what they have done for the rest of their lives.
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There is just as much horse sense as ever, but the horses have most of it.
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post #54 of 62 Old 06-24-2012, 03:58 AM Thread Starter
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Witbank, South Africa
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Thank you everyone. Its been some very rough months, but after another trip to rehab, and the support of my family and friends, I'm okay now.

I haven't cut in over 3 months, and the urge to do so, and to not eat has lessened a lot, even though they haven't disappeared yet. The people who caused it all were suspended from school, and punished quite severly. I have forgiven them though, I don't blame them anymore. My scars are fading, and although they will never completely fade, they will fade enough that I will never have to be ashamed of them. Everyone in my life knows what happened in my life for these past few months, and none of them judge me, apart from one "friend" who thought I was just seeking attention. Needless to say he is no longer my friend.

I really want to thank all the HF members who supported me throughout that time in my life, I really appreciate it, and I'm glad that my story is out there for others to see that 1) Bullying is not a joke, and 2) Doing what I did is never the answer.

Thanks so much guys, if you would like any details regarding my treatment and stuff, please ask, I would really like to share it.
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Every girl wants their own LOVE STORY, I found mine... :)
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post #55 of 62 Old 06-24-2012, 04:10 AM
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:) Way to go girl!! Keep on truckin!

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #56 of 62 Old 06-24-2012, 05:02 AM
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That is great news! Keep up the good work and remember you always have people who genuinely care, right here :) as close as your fingertips.
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post #57 of 62 Old 10-07-2012, 01:52 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Witbank, South Africa
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I thought I would revive this thread...

I've had a very rough few weeks. I have absolutely no idea why, but I seem to have sunk into a deep depression. Nothing has interested me or made me happy. I stopped doing agility with my dog, and I haven't even been up to see my horses in about a month now. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't do anything. My family is worried, and so is my boyfriend, which makes me feel even worse - we've only been dating 2 months, and he has to put up with my depression... I'm going to my psychiatrist in a few days before I get the urge to do anything silly.

This is so very annoying, because I was doing so well. I just don't understand it...

Every girl wants their own LOVE STORY, I found mine... :)
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post #58 of 62 Old 10-07-2012, 02:13 PM
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I hope you can find a balance, that is sustainable over time. By all means, so the psychiatrist and let us know if it is helpful.
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post #59 of 62 Old 10-07-2012, 09:12 PM
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I have a daughter who has had similar troubles as you.

She takes her antidepressants, eats right, makes good choices (now), and still will get deeply, illogically depressed.

She's in her mid-20s, and sometimes has to just hang on to the memory that episodes come and episodes go. From what she has learned, she expects this to be a pattern. Because of that, she has plans in place to protect herself when "it" gets bad.

Please keep traveling your path. It's so worth it to you and even when you don't feel that it is, you are positive contribution to those in your circle of influence (family, acquaintances, etc).
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post #60 of 62 Old 10-08-2012, 12:37 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Witbank, South Africa
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Today my mother decided to book me in for 3 nights back at rehab because she's worried about me. I don't really know how to feel about that, but I can see why she is - I haven't eaten or slept in a number of days, and I haven't really spoken much.

I sold my mares. With everything that has been going on, I haven't had time for them, and since I will be going to university next year I still won't have time, and thats not fair to them. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it for them, and they will be very happy.

I just found out that my riding school is closing down, and have to sell all the horses I have grown up with. I have never cried so much in my entire life, I don't know what to do.

I know I should feel something right now, but I guess I'm numb.

Every girl wants their own LOVE STORY, I found mine... :)
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