Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Southeastern PA
I am a foster parent, so while my experiences are not completely relevant, they are within the same ball park at least.
Does your paperwork show if you were adopted through Children and Youth (or equivalent name) for the county, or was it a private agency, private agreement etc?
In most situations (almost all) adoptions are done through the county court system, unless it was not an official adoption and a family member just raised the child as their own.
You said that you contacted the State, I wouldn't expect much help from them, as it is all handled on a county level. You need to start with finding out which county handled the adoption and then go to the court there. Even with a closed adoption they will often pass your info along to your birth mom so she can contact you if she wants to.
Adoption.com is a huge resource, and it has a forum/message board. There are many people there in your situation, as well as birth and adoptive parents. I am sure that they can give you more advise than we can here.
Faceman stated that it could be that your adoptive parents are protecting you, and that could well be the case. I would recommend that you prepare yourself for that. I have had several kids who were the product of prostitution, and they are completely unaware of that, and believe their dad passed away - and I think in the interests of a relationship with mom, this might be for the best (of course it's not my decision to ever make anyway).
Assuming you are an adult now though, any background your parents might have had could well have changed. I just don't want you to go expecting a fairy tale.
I frankly don't believe that your adoptive parents don't remember the last name or the county the adoption happened in. I believe they are probably lying for a reason though. They are scared to death that you will move on and will not feel they are your parents anymore, or they are protecting you. Regardless of their reasons, this needs to be talked about, calmly and in detail with both sides hearing each other. If you think this might be hard to do, it might be worth putting your feelings in writing and rereading and editing them. Your adoptive parents deserve that from you.
Best of luck to you. But please remember that your adoptive parents wanted you so badly they chose you, specifically you.