I'VE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!*Bangs Head* - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:14 PM Thread Starter
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I'VE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!*Bangs Head*

So one of my high school friends, one of my best
friends to be exact, has been staying with my husband
and I at our home for a week or so now. She is 18 and
got into a fight with her Dad and felt the need to get away
and was hinting at she had no place to go so we offered
to let her stay with us...being the good person that I am
I don't want any of my friends sleeping in their car or
in this predicament like my husband was at one time when
his mom literally kicked him out at 18 with NOWHERE to go.

Let me just state this girl comes from a wealthy family,
her Dad is a friggin eye surgeon and they live in a beautiful
homeand she's basically had everything she's ever wanted.
She also has a JOB!

So let me just ask you guys something...
is it wrong for me to get angry she is mooching off
my husband and I? My husband and I are both unemplyed
for the time being...she's been eating our food we get on our
food stamp card and WIC I get off of being pregnant. Her ex
boyfriend and her are still close and she thinks she can just invite
him over anytime and turn our house into a hangout. When her
or her ex enter or leave the house, they leave the front door wide
ass open saying "Come Rob Here!"She leaves the light on in her
room she is staying in on constantly and I have to turn it off. Both
her and her ex get annoyed at my dogs and tells Scooter to shut
up constantly because he barks at them..which I can't stand! ETC,
ETC, ETC!!

I am going to be strong and say something today. She is
supposed to be getting this form from the college today she
attends to get a student loan to live on campus IF her dad
will sign it...if he doesn't I'm going to be tempted to call him
and tell him a thing or two! She's going to have to go...my
baby shower is coming up and I need the baby's room she is
staying in to put the gifts and big presents I recieve.

I feel kinda bad at the same time for thinking ill thoughts
sinceshe is having a hard time right now, I started attending
church and calmed down knowing I am a good person helping
a friend in their time of need, but then I get ****ed off all
again when I get home and she/they pull their crap. My husband
and I can't even be alone together it seems.

Something has to change. >.<

It's been awhile, but I'm back & back in the saddle!
Small_Town_Girl is offline  
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post #2 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:24 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Warren, Arkansas
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If anyone has any nice suggestions or advice, please don't
hesitate to suggest it to me!

It's been awhile, but I'm back & back in the saddle!
Small_Town_Girl is offline  
post #3 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:29 PM
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If she is your best friend she should understand. maybe try suggesting that if she is going to stay longer then maybe pay rent or buy the groceries. Also lay the ground rules down on how often the ex can be there and if she is going to leave the lights on then she can help pay for that as well.

I feel bad for you, you are in a tough situation. But you need to stand your ground. it isnt good for you to be all stressed out when pregnant either. A week should be long enough for her to cool down, and should go back and make god with her dad.

Best of luck to you in this tough situation


It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.
- Paul "Bear" Bryant (Former college football coach)
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post #4 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:31 PM
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Wow..yeah that really stinks! I'd be angry as well. I don't know what to tell you other than I know how you feel..My best friend from high school came and stayed almost 2 weeks with me last February and she left her clothes lying around EVERYWHERE (mind you, she had 3 LARGE suitcases FULL of clothes with her). She also ate a bunch of our food and what not. She quit her job because she just didn't like it so I didn't feel bad for her not having any money but at the same time I loved seeing her as she moved to Arizona a few years ago now and thats the only time I've seen her since. But yes, I totally know how you feel. Ryan and I were really frustrated as well. I didn't have to worry about "kicking" her out though as she was just here on vacation but yeah. It was really tough for a while. We are both "starving college students" as well. But a anyway...I'd just suggest telling her you guys need to talk. Tell her that if she is going to continue to living with you she is going to need to contribute to buying food etc and maybe pay some rent. Also tell her that she cannot stay for much longer as you need the room for your baby (totally understandable). Maybe give her a deadline to get out (say 2 weeks or so to give her time to find a new place) as you don't want to just kick her out right away since you may lose a friend and probably feel bad yourself.

I hope you can figure it out soon! :)

TM Tardy's Chick "Hunter" - 13 yo Paint
Remmy - 18 yo Morgan/QH cross
Gunner 3/31/11, Heidi 7/2009 Miniature Sicilian donkey
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post #5 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:38 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys, really I needed it. I'm going to talk to her
tonight one on one after her ex leaves.

Angel- your advice was very useful to me, thanks! :)

Oh I forgot to mention she moved her ferret in also which
stinks to high heaves (don't get me wrong I love ferrets
and use to have one) into my dogs room and told me not
to let them stick their nose in it's cage because it will bite
them....

She is supposed to be finding a gome for it, my mom offered
to take it if she was going to just give it away and I told her
what my mom said and she made the comment "I think the
best home for her would be to someone who is willing to pay
money for her"...the stupidest thing I've ever heard imo.

It's been awhile, but I'm back & back in the saddle!
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post #6 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:51 PM
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It's great that you've roomed your friend when she needs it. I appropriate you.

But your house, your rules. Talk over it with your friend. If she comes from a wealthy circumstance she perhaps doesn't realize that you have to live an economical way. I think that if she have money she would wage paying outlays because she lodges in your house and use your electric, water etc. and eat your foods.

About her friends, your house, your rules again. If you feel that her friends are toilsome suggest if she would meet them somewhere else.

If you really need the room, it's your house and choice. Talk over this with her too. Maybe you can find a solution which satiate you both. But finally it's your and your husband choice to decide what do you want to do with her.

I know it's hard to talk about things like this with your friend because I'm pretty submissive person but you're the mistress of the house. Don't leave those things to bother you because if you always bend things turn worse. You can be kind but still vigorious.


"On hyviä vuosia, kauniita muistoja, mutta kuitenkaan, en saata unohtaa,
Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

Pelle Miljoona - Varjo seuraa onneain

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post #7 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Small_Town_Girl View Post
Thanks guys, really I needed it. I'm going to talk to her
tonight one on one after her ex leaves.

Angel- your advice was very useful to me, thanks! :)

Oh I forgot to mention she moved her ferret in also which
stinks to high heaves (don't get me wrong I love ferrets
and use to have one) into my dogs room and told me not
to let them stick their nose in it's cage because it will bite
them....

She is supposed to be finding a gome for it, my mom offered
to take it if she was going to just give it away and I told her
what my mom said and she made the comment "I think the
best home for her would be to someone who is willing to pay
money for her"...the stupidest thing I've ever heard imo.
No offense to you or your friend but she seems like a snot. i hope everything goes well with the talk and if she starts to blow up (which she might start to get defensive) ask her to but herself in your shoes: You are young, pregnant, struggling financially, and then you have another person move in and take advantage of you.

and the money thing about the ferret... shes lucky that your mom is willing to help out.

Just remember we are always here if you need to rant *hugs*


It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.
- Paul "Bear" Bryant (Former college football coach)
Angel_Leaguer is offline  
post #8 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel_Leaguer View Post
No offense to you or your friend but she seems like a snot. i hope everything goes well with the talk and if she starts to blow up (which she might start to get defensive) ask her to but herself in your shoes: You are young, pregnant, struggling financially, and then you have another person move in and take advantage of you.

and the money thing about the ferret... shes lucky that your mom is willing to help out.

Just remember we are always here if you need to rant *hugs*
No offense taken! LOL!

She gets upset over little things too, but she can get over it,
I'm going to say what I have to say tonight.

It's been awhile, but I'm back & back in the saddle!
Small_Town_Girl is offline  
post #9 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 03:28 PM
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I think that a lot of 18 year olds think that they are all grown up and don't need rules. They forget that with freedom comes responsibility. I think you'd be doing your friend a favor if you require her to pay rent (I'd say 1/3 of your rent or mortgage), utilities, and food. I'd also require her to do chores around the house and follow some simple house rules (let us know when you're leaving, when you'll be back, no noise when we're sleeping, shut the doors when you leave the house, no pets, etc). Parents don't ask their children to let them know when they're coming home to be controlling. They do so because it's common courtesy.

Sometimes people will take advantage of you for exactly as long as you let them.

Are you absolutely sure you wanna mess with my carrots?
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post #10 of 11 Old 11-10-2008, 05:20 PM
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I think it's more than fair. She is mature enough she should have evalutated the situation herself and offered something in return of her stay. It think it would be a good idea for to sit down her and explain the situation and go from there.
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