Just found my birth mother. Very emotional and confused:( - Page 2

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Just found my birth mother. Very emotional and confused:(

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    10-16-2011, 10:56 PM
Originally Posted by Klassic Superstar    
So I guess my mom, Debbie lives in FL. Has been sober for a few years now. So after reading my sisters email and crying (yes I told my mom about this) I got the courage to email my birthmother (I got it from my sister) so I emailed her...I told her I didnít want to meet her right away and that emails where all I can emotionally handle right now, and here is where I want to start crying again. Been (in just 2 hours from finding out) a huge roller coaster of emotions...and I hate it.

I donít know what to think expect or do.
Help? Please!?
{{{}}} I am an adoptive mom whose daughter is a real wreck now because too much damage had been done from her drug-addicted, then murdered mom before she was removed by social services & adopted. So I am very familiar with your territory, if that helps at all. There is so much loss and pain around adoption, no matter what the outcome. I am so sorry that you have been hit with yet another challenge.
First of all, I am in no place to tell you what to do but would like to only suggest that you not feel obligated to do anything about this new discovery. And then, it would be great if you could get help in the form of counseling in person FROM A COUNSELOR WHO UNDERSTANDS ADOPTION ISSUES, as many do not. Contact a local adoption agency (not social services) for help with finding someone. They have great resources. This would be really difficult to handle all by yourself, you need someone to share your feelings with before you do anything.
Wishing you the best and feel free to pm me if you need to talk...
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    10-16-2011, 11:45 PM
Green Broke
Thank you all so much! It feels just a big lift off my shoulders to have gotten it all out on here.

I decided to contact her, emailed her saying I hope that things are going well in her life currently. That if she wanted to get to know me (via email) I'd be okay with that since I would like to get closure on the adoption and know who I am and if I may have any health issues that run in the family I should be aware of.

I told her I am shy ad slow to open up. That was two days ago and all my sister does is talk about how she's talked her her now a few times (since iv emailed her)
So I know I was setting myself up to get hurt, but so soon...no response when I know she's talking to my older sister...
    10-16-2011, 11:51 PM
Do you think that maybe your sister may not be being truthful? Maybe she wants to make you jealous? Please do not take this the wrong way but maybe she has issues with that you have had a good life and from what you say she did not.
    10-16-2011, 11:57 PM
Green Broke
This could be happening, I'd hope to not have her be lieing to me.
Although after thinking more about it it seems more possiable...after she had told our birth mother a lot of information about me, my location, my school, all about my horse life. Things that she didn't have the right to tell her ESP since she hadn't yet even told me she had contacted her.

Such an emotional road.
    10-17-2011, 12:55 AM
I second Calmwaters... Your sister may be turning this into a "she loves me more" competition because of your significantly different lives, trying to make you and her more "even". In any case, do what YOU feel is right. If it hurts too much, stop contact. If you decide you want to get to know your birth mother really well, that's okay too, as well as anything in between. A family counselor can help you decide if you feel you need help.

Good luck. I was born 11-19-1991 as well. Maybe that makes us both lucky? It sounds like both of us have been blessed in our lives, though in different ways. :)
TaMMa89 likes this.
    10-17-2011, 01:00 AM
Green Broke
My birthday is on the 7th of November lol
I have done years of counseling and it's somewhat helped but mostly hasn't. So I will most likely nit be doing that. I have a very supportive family and friends so they all know what is going on and support me along with whatever I decide to do with all of this.

Thanks again! Really!!
    10-17-2011, 01:06 AM
Wait, I thought you said you were turning 20 on November 19th in the OP? I got confused!
    10-17-2011, 01:09 AM
Green Broke
If it said that it was a typo lolmi was tryping pretty fast to get it out before my eng 101 class started lol
Sorry! Lol

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