I don't even know how to word everything in a way that it makes sense.
I'm feeling nervous I guess. My mom, who turned 62 this year, is wanting to finally retire, which I think is great! Her job has put so much stress on her and makes her so unhappy. Right now she's making a good amount of money that makes for a cushy life for all of us. At the moment she's supporting myself, I'm 17, and my younger sister, who is 11. As well as all of the house-hold and animal expenses (Two cats, a dog, and a horse)
I've been applying everywhere for a job, the dog and horse are mine, and I feel absolutely wrong having her paying for everything, when it's my responsibility. I'm really frustrated with not having a job, I live in the middle of nowhere and all the places with openings are really far away.
I was planning to go to college for physical therapy, but the time and money put into a good college for that would just be too much. So I've decided to switch to nursing, not exactly sure what kind exactly, but the smaller/local college has a great program and I could easily commute there and back.
Another reason I want to have a job is so that instead of my mom spending money on myself, she can save it for her own expenses as well as my sisters. Since she'll be retiring, I don't want to drop all of my work that I do at home onto them. Since my little sister will have school and I don't want her to have the stress that I did of trying to balance school and house work, and I don't want my mom to be stuck taking care of the house on her own. I want her to retire and be able to relax for the first time in 40 something years. She REALLY deserves it.
My friends mother was actually paid by the state to take care of her mother at home. So maybe home nursing I could do.
I don't want my mother to be struggling when she retires, so I guess I'm just nervous and I feel like I'm stuck. I don't want her to have to move, or give up things that make her life just a little bit easier.
I applied to a few more places recently, so I'm hoping I can get a job and put at least some money towards the bills, my horse, and vet for the dog.
If you read all of that, thanks. I appreciate it! Haha
I'm so scared to "grow up," I really don't want to.